Let the World Spin Madly On
by theskyisyours
Summary: Edward is left in emotional turmoil after witnessing the death of his mother at an early age. Bella moves to Forks senior year to live with her father after a similar experience. Is Bella strong enough to tear down his walls? M just to be safe. AH.
1. Wake Up, It's a Bad Dream

**Hey, guys. This is an idea I've been thinking about lately. I'm not exactly the _best_ writer, so bear with me. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this story. But, I figure I'll just let it write itself. If anybody has any ideas, I'll gladly accept them. So, read up, and tell me what you think? Please and thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. At all.  
**

_I stared out the window as the rain drops raced their way across the glass. My mother sat beside me, humming to some song she had found on the radio. I loved hearing my mom sing, she honestly had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Better than all those girls in Hollywood. Suddenly, the song changed, and on came "Dancing Queen". I groaned and looked back at my mother who instantly laughed and started singing the song, as loud as she could. I laughed at her, my mom could be so funny sometimes._

_We were on our way to Seattle. My first day of second grade was in a week and my mom decided I needed some back to school clothes. I really couldn't care less about clothes but she insisted. And I did love spending time with my mom. So here we were, heading down the highway on a rainy Monday afternoon. My attention was diverted for a second as my mom's cell phone started to ring._

_"Hello?" my mother's musical voice filled the car as she turned the radio down. I returned to observing the downpour outside of the car. From what I could tell, it was my father who had called. Probably on a break in the hospital and wanted to say hello. At that moment, I realized lights were shining on my face. I heard my mother scream and as I looked up, I found our car heading straight for another car. Then everything went black._

_When I finally came to, I was in pain. My head hurt, my arm hurt, my side hurt. I lifted up my head and saw the car was completely mangled. That's when it clicked. Accident. Then, I got scared. It was quiet in the car. I turned my head to see my mother slumped in her seat, completely silent and unmoving. She had a large gash in her forehead that I tried to ignore. I unbuckled my seatbelt, ignoring the sharp pains in my body, and inched over to my mom._

_"Mom," I said. She didn't respond. "Mom," I tried again, a little louder. I started to freak. Why isn't she saying anything? "__Mom, " I said again, this time shaking her shoulder. No response. __No, I thought. __This isn't real. She'll wake up, I know it. "__**Mom**," I started yelling now, violently shaking her shoulder. The tears started to come. "__Mommy," I started to beg. She had to wake up. Suddenly, somebody pried open the side of the car. I barely took notice. I was crying steadily now as I started screaming for my mom._

_"We've got a boy in here," I head a man's voice yell. And then I was being picked up and taken away from my mom. No. I couldn't leave her here. She needed to wake up._

_"MOMMY!!" I was screaming. She was getting further and further away from me. "MOM!! MOM!! MOM…"_

"Mom!" I screamed as I shot up in bed. I looked around for my clock and noticed it was blinking 3:02 at me. I groaned and sat against my headboard, trying to ease my breathing. I couldn't get a grip on myself. _Why can't you fucking get a grip? Come on, you're a big boy…_I internally kicked myself. I didn't want to keep having this dream. I mean, it had been ten years ago. There had been plenty of time and therapists in between then and now. So why did I keep having this god awful nightmare? I realized I wasn't going to be going back to sleep anytime soon so I ripped the covers off and trudged downstairs. My goal: a nice glass of water and some cold medicine. Tomorrow, or today I guess, was Saturday and I just wanted to sleep in. The medicine would knock me out for a good eight more hours. As I hopped off the last step and rounded the corner, into the kitchen, I could slightly make out a figure sitting at the kitchen table. My dad. Dr. Carlisle Cullen in all his glory. He turned as he heard my footsteps approaching on the tile floor.

"Edward," he greeted me.

"Father," I smirked as I stuck my hand in the dish washer, searching for a clean glass. We constantly saw each other at odd hours of the night. Me searching for a solution for my sleep deprivation, him sneaking some slutty nurse or intern out of the house hoping I wouldn't see him. Tonight was different however. Just him.

"What, no naughty nurses tonight?" I questioned him while reaching into the cabinet, fishing around for some Nyquil. I heard him sigh at my comment.

"Edward…" he started, sounding slightly exasperated. I knew my comments about his love life irritated him to no end, but that's exactly why I did it. I couldn't resist.

"Don't worry about it, Carlisle, I won't tell," I kept pushing his buttons. "I understand the sexual frustration, must be nice to have the entire nursing staff drooling over you down at good ol' Forks General." He just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he once again averted his eyes out to the downpour. Obviously, he wasn't going to put up a fight tonight. Might as well crawl back into my bed and leave him to wallow in self pity or whatever.

"Alright, well, I'll see you in a few hours. And if any girls happen to show up, remember, always use protection. Safe sex is great sex!" I escaped up the stairs with my glass and two of the lovely little pills. I hopped over to the bathroom and filled the glass with water, quickly throwing back the medicine and taking a big gulp of the water. I strolled back into my room and jumped under the covers. I could already feel the effects of the Nyquil and I sunk back into my pillows, happily welcoming the wonderful black abyss.


	2. A Phantom and A Fly

**Alright, after this chapter it might be awhile before I update again. Sophomore year of high school is not a walk in the park, so to speak. I have my hands full and barely have time to take a break to eat some dinner. Forgive me. And thanks to those who added me and reviewed! Makes my day :)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine. But I can always dream...  
**

You know that feeling? That one where you can sense that somebody is watching you. Yeah, well, that's how I woke up. I was slowly coming back to reality when I felt it. A pair of eyes boring into me. Then I felt a poking in my side. Then a nudging. And then, finally, somebody pulled back the curtains, revealing the sunlight. That goddamn sunlight. I groaned as it filled the room and I was forced to wrench my eyes open.

"Good morning!" I heard a very cheery voice exclaim. I looked over by the window to see a small girl, dark hair, and eyes wide with excitement bouncing up and down in her spot.

"Alice, how the hell did you get in here?" I murmured, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Silly, Carlisle let me in," she answered me as she took the liberty of hopping up and down on my bed. I swear to God if Alice wasn't my best friend…

"Ugh, what could you want at this ungodly hour?" I groaned again.

"Dude, it's almost noon, get your butt up, we're going to Port Angeles today, remember?" And, for the thousandth time since I had waken up, I groaned.

"Don't even think about it mister, you promised," she reminded me, a serious look on her face. And it was true. I had promised her that I would go with her to go shopping for Jasper's birthday present. And I really wouldn't mind going if it was just for that. But, I knew how this day was going to turn out. Just like I knew that we would shop for Jasper for about twenty minutes. Then I would spend the remainder of the day in department stores and carrying bags. There was no stopping Alice when it came to shopping. She needed therapy.

"Ugh, yes, I know," I said as I threw back the covers and went to grab some clothes. "But was it really necessary to blind me?"

"Completely necessary," she answered playfully. "Now, you get dressed and I'll be waiting for you downstairs." She hopped towards the door and then suddenly spun around. "Oh, and Carlisle said to stop by the hospital before we leave."

"Why?" I questioned. Alice just shrugged. "Whatever, go wait downstairs, I'll be there in a few." She skipped out the door, a grin on her face. Morning person. I hate morning people.

About ten minutes later I found myself behind the wheel of the Volvo, speeding towards the hospital. Alice was sitting in the passenger seat, animatedly talking about whatever was bouncing around in her mind. Some people would find it annoying, but, truth be told, this is what I loved most about her. No matter what kind of mood I was in or whatever crap was happening, she was there to make me laugh. Just like that. I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and turned the car off.

"I'll just wait here," Alice told me. I chuckled. Alice wasn't exactly a fan of hospitals. She said they smelled too weird and that the décor was disgusting. Whatever, that's Alice for you. I opened up the car door and slid out, heading for the entrance. I walked up to the desk and asked where my dad was. I was well known in this hospital, the only son of the glorious Dr. Cullen. Apparently, the nurse's also had a thing for me. It was a nice boost for my ego. The lady at the front desk told me he was with a patient on the third floor and told me to go right up. I thanked her and headed for the elevators. I could hear the giggling as I started to walk away.

I reached the third floor and questioned another nurse on where I could find my father. This one wasn't as helpful, stammering and blushing like no tomorrow, so I just thanked her for the valiant effort and trudged off, searching for Carlisle on my own. I came around another corner and could hear my father's voice coming from a room further down the hall. I headed towards the open door, seeing Carlisle talking to some girl sitting in the hospital bed. Being polite, I knocked on the door. He looked up at me and quickly excused himself from the girl sitting on the bed. The girl looked at me and smiled, nice and big. She looked nice, it sucked that she was stuck in a dreary hospital with my dad. I half smiled back at her before my dad stepped out and closed the door behind him.

"Okay, Carlisle, what do you need?"

"You still need community service hours for school, right?" I sighed and nodded. Forks High School required a certain amount of community services hours as a qualification for graduation. I think they just made that little requirement up but whatever, I had to do it.

"Well, Dr. McDermott said he could help you out. Just come to the hospital after school, help out a bit. Mostly, you'll get to watch him do surgeries and he'll just sign the slip that says it's community service. What do you think?" He looked at me expectantly. What was he looking for? Squealing and jumping?

"Fine with me. Starting Monday?" I asked, sounding a bit bored.

"Uh, yeah. Just come in after school and find Dr. McDermott." I nodded.

"Okay, so you're heading up to Port Angeles?" he questioned me.

"Mmhmm…" I really wasn't interested in talking with Carlisle. My eyes wandered and fell again on the girl waiting patiently in her room. I turned back to my father and spoke.

"Well, gotta go, Alice is waiting in the car. And you should probably get back to saving the world or whatever it is you do around here," I mumbled as I turned and started walking down the hall. I heard my dad sigh before he re-entered the room he was in before I showed up.

I jogged back to the car, knowing that Alice was probably starting to get impatient. I opened the door and, sure enough, she was sitting in the passenger seat with a scowl planted on her face.

"Jeez, what took so long, Edward?" she half growled at me. I laughed lightly.

"Carlisle found me fake community service," I replied. Her face quickly switched expressions, turning into a confused one.

"Meaning?" she asked.

"Meaning I come here after school and do nothing but get the slip signed saying I did community service. Not too bad, if you ask me," I answered her. And it wouldn't be. It was better than picking up trash on the side of the highway or hanging around at a nursing home like all the other seniors were doing.

"Ugh, lucky," she sighed. For some of Alice's community service, she had worked at a clothing drive for the needy. She claims it had left her permanently scarred, that the clothing had been so horrifyingly disgusting. I chuckled as I remembered her coming back, muttering about nobody in this town having decent taste in clothes.

"Yes, well, sometimes being Carlisle's one and only has its perks," I murmured. She nodded.

"Fine. Then, as punishment for taking so long and for having such a hot dad, I get to choose the music today," she announced, while plugging in her iPod. I groaned, for two reasons. One: I hated when she drooled over my dad, some of her comments actually made me feel the need to take a shower. Two: Alice's music could sometimes make my ears bleed.

"Oh, come on! If you're forcing me to go on a shopping extravaganza the least you can do is let me listen to my music!" I grumbled at her. She just giggled, knowing how much her music irritated me.

"Sorry, no can do. We'll listen to yours on the way home," she compromised. And, with that, she started blasting Jonas Brothers. I groaned loudly and sunk back into my seat. This would be a long day.

* * *

"Shit, Alice, did you have to buy out the entire store? Why not save some stuff for next weekend?" I groaned at her as I juggled most of her bags and boxes on the way to the car. God, this girl could shop.

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen, Edward. I didn't buy that much stuff," she shot back at me. I scoffed at her comment and turned to make a face at her, almost off-setting the balance of all the crap loaded in my arms.

"Edward! Be careful! Sheesh, they're not _that _heavy," she scolded me.

"Says the girl with only one bag in her arms," I mumbled.

"Well, you're the man. It's only customary that you carry my bags," she commented.

"That's cute, Alice. And if you ever come across a puddle, I suppose you expect me to lay my jacket across it for you?" I sneered at her.

"Of course," she laughed, as she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Of course," I sighed as I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, we're almost at the car, where are your keys?" she asked.

"Back pocket," I answered. She dug out my keys and popped the trunk. I finally let all the crap in my arms fall, landing in the open trunk. I huffed a sigh of relief as Alice gave me a _look_.

"Over dramatic…" she murmured to herself. I ignored it and closed the trunk, then slid into the driver's seat. Alice sat down beside me.

"Now, remember, we're listening to _my _music this time," I reminded her as she let out a sigh. I didn't care. I had just spent my entire Saturday in various department stores, sitting in dressing rooms, and running back and forth getting Alice different sizes. I needed my tunes or I would explode.

I quickly sped out of the mall parking lot and onto the highway, wanting to be as far away from that hell hole as I could get. I settled back into my seat, and smiled as I listened to the soothing sounds of The Shins filled the car. Alice started chattering about Jasper and school and anything else she could think up of. And, everything seemed right with the world. If only for a little while.

**Alright, I know it's moving kind of slow. Bear with me. Review? Please and thank you!**


	3. That's The Way We Get By

**Sorry! This chapter isn't very long. I'm suffering from a bit of writer's block. And I have such a busy schedule. I hope I can get this story going, I know where I want it to go, I just can't figure out how to get there. Have no fear, I'm bringing in back up, and hopefully I'll be updating soon. Thanks for reviews and all who added me on their alerts! You guys are the ones who keep me writing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, although that's horribly obvious.  
**

* * *

The ride home was much more enjoyable than the ride there. I parked in Alice's driveway and dragged myself out of the car. Alice was already waiting with the trunk popped, shooting me supposedly sweet looks. Being the gentleman that I am, I gathered all her stupid crap in my arms again and carried it into her house with us. I made it through the door without tripping and dropped all the stuff in her living room. My brain was currently being distracted by some heavenly smell wafting from the kitchen. I let my nose take the lead as I headed in that direction.

"Man oh man, what smells so fantastic?" I asked, turning the corner into the kitchen and spying Alice's mom, Esme, taking something out of the oven.

"Hello to you too, Edward," she laughed at me. "They're chocolate chip cookies. I figured you could use some comfort food after shopping all day with Alice," she smiled while holding out the plate of freshly baked cookies. This woman was my hero.

"Ugh, yes _please_. You got a carton of Ben and Jerry's around as well? I'm really nearing mental breakdown here," I joked with her as Alice rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on, Edward. You've shopped for longer. Remember New York?" Alice reminded me. I shuddered at just the thought. Alice and I had gone to visit her aunt in New York City for Spring Break freshman year. She had gone completely mad that week, shooting in and out of stores. I was permanently scarred.

"Yes, in fact, I do have a faint recollection of that trip. I hope you know you have forever tainted the Big Apple for me. Whenever I even get _near_ the east coast, I can feel the ache in my feet," I flinched. Alice stuck her tongue out at me as Esme chuckled.

"So, what are you kids up to tonight?" Esme asked us while starting the dishes. I took a seat at the counter along with Alice as we continued munching on the cookies.

"Oh, you know, the usual. A few frat parties to attend, maybe stop by a strip club…" I began but was cut off as a dish towel was thrown at my face.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, what am I going to do with you?" Esme asked, a look of fake annoyance on her face."We'll probably just go hang out at Emmett's tonight, Mom," Alice answered her first question.

"Ah, now there's the answer I was looking for," Esme joked.

"But, Esme, how do you know that's better for us than a frat party? For all you know, we could be over there having mass orgies and doing keg stands," I pointed out to her, putting on my best innocent face. And, hey, we w_ere_ innocent. For the most part...

"You better not, or I'll kill both of you,"

"Don't worry Mom, no keggers at the McCarty's. Just ignore Edward. He's especially sarcastic today," Alice teased me.

"Yeah, well, it couldn't be because of the rather rude wake up call I got this morning," I retorted. Alice made a face at me before grabbing another cookie. Esme laughed and then sighed, as we fought over the last cookie.

* * *

"See you later, Mom," Alice shouted as we headed out the door, heading to Emmett's house.

"Bye Esme! Thanks for the cookies!" I added as Esme stuck her head around the partition between us and the kitchen and gave us a wave.

We hopped back into my car and drove down the windy streets of Forks, heading towards Emmett's place. This was our frequent gathering place.

Alice hopped out of the car before I had even killed the engine and she sprinted for the front door.

"A little eager, are we?" I mocked her.

"I haven't seen him all day!" Alice whined as she hopped up and down waiting for somebody to open the door.

"Oh, poor you," I muttered. Alice couldn't stand being apart from Jasper for too long, and vice versa.

Then, the door flew open and there stood Jasper.

"Alice," he sighed, and quickly swept her up in a tight embrace. I rolled my eyes as I pushed past them, heading into the living room. Those two could be so dramatic.

I made my way to the living room, moving quickly in my need to get away from the love oozing from Jasper and Alice. I should have been more careful. I rounded the bend into the living room and immediately brought my hands up to block the image before me.

"Ahh, my eyes!" I screamed. In front of me, I was presented with a good look of Emmett and Rosalie practically dry humping on the couch.

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett hopped up and clapped me on the shoulder. I grumbled at the nickname and went into the kitchen to search for anything to burn that image out of my brain. Perhaps a little bleach…

"Edward, you really need to remember to knock!" Rosalie called out to me as I grabbed a few bottles of whatever from the fridge and headed back into the room.

"Well, Rose, maybe you should learn to find a room with a _door_," I countered. "Living rooms are supposed to be for the enjoyment of all. And I, personally, do not enjoy sitting in cum stains." They all laughed as I took a seat on the floor and popped the top off of the first bottle.

"Hey, wastey face, a little eager with the booze tonight?" Jasper piped up, eyeing the array of beer and liquor I had quickly assembled on the floor in front of me.

"Don't give me crap, I need this. Your girlfriend woke me up at the crack of dawn and was dragging me in and out of every dressing room in Port Angeles today. Honestly, how do you put up with this all the time?"

"What can I say, that enthusiasm for shopping carries over into the bedroom," Jasper stated proudly, wiggling his eyebrows, as Alice slapped his arm.

"Touché," I murmured between sips. I could already feel the buzz coming on.

"Alright, how about we help you out with this stuff, Eddie?" Emmett laughed, as I punched him in the arm.

"Who wants to play Kings?" Rosalie suggested. "I'm not in the mood to watch Edward get wasted and start blabbing about his hot daddy again," I turned a bit red at this and scowled. I had a habit to make my thoughts known when I was drunk and my friends were more than willing to take advantage of that.

And so, we got a few cups, a deck of cards, and sat in a circle, falling into our own dizzy little world for a few hours. I could just feel the hangover coming on.

**Again, sorry it was so short. Please review! Please, please, pleeease. Any ideas or suggestions? I'm open to anything you want to see happen.**


	4. Not a Thing to Do But Talk to You

**Sorry for the wait guys. I have so much stuff to worry about right now and I can't seem to find the time to write a decent chapter. I hope this one will do, though.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.  
**

* * *

And so it began. Another week in this god forsaken place. When would it ever end?

I pulled into the parking lot at Forks High School, sliding into a spot next to Emmett's Jeep. Same as always.

I pulled myself out of my car sluggishly, waiting for the attack.

"Hey Edward!!" Alice squealed as she bounded up to me, planting a kiss on my cheek. I groaned.

"Go away," I mumbled as I slumped against the side of my Volvo.

"Oh come on, pal. It's a brand new day! The sun is shining, the birds are singing-" Emmett started to preach but was interrupted by a blow to the back of his head, courtesy of Rosalie. Her and I were on the same page when it came to early mornings. In that, we believed they shouldn't exist.

"Emmett, in case you haven't noticed, it's pouring rain," I gestured to the buckets of rain cascading from the sky. Did he really not take notice?

"I was talking about the metaphorical sun, Edward," he sneered. I stared at him, questioning his sanity. What the fuck was he babbling about?

At that moment, the warning bell rang, signaling we had five minutes until class started. I heaved a heavy sigh and trudged off to my first class with Jasper. AP Calculus. Fuck my life.

I plopped down into my seat in the back of the room and immediately slammed my head down on the desk. I heard Jasper pull his chair back and sit down in the seat next to me.

"Dude, Tanya's eye raping you as of now," Jasper whispered in my ear.

I quickly lifted my head and looked around. Sure enough, Tanya was sitting a few rows in front of us, practically undressing me with her stare. I groaned even louder.

"Hey, man, your fault," Jasper teased me.

"It's not my fault. There's nothing interesting to look at around here. My dick was literally gonna explode if I didn't do something about it," I tried to explain to Jasper. He just shook his head and started laughing.

"I swear to God, I couldn't stop laughing that day. Alice comes running up to me talking a mile a minute. I knew you were desperate but, really? Tanya sucking you off in the janitor's closet?" He started laughing again, as if to prove his point.

I would have found it funny. Hilarious, even. If it wasn't about me.

I growled at him, frustrated and tired.

"Sorry, but not everyone is lucky enough to have a little pixie to bounce up and down their cock in the back of the fucking library," I shot back. Jasper turned red at the memory of the ancient librarian finding him and Alice getting hot and heavy in between the book shelves. I grinned slightly, proud of myself for making him shut up.

"Seriously, man, this is getting nasty. Jessica, I understand. Lauren, I'll put up with. But Tanya? That's just disgraceful. No .More .Tanya." Jasper said while poking me in the chest.

I lifted my head up in time to see Tanya licking her lips. I shuddered and turned back to Jasper.

"If I ever get close enough to her, just do me a favor? Rip off my dick," I muttered. Jasper chuckled as the teacher started droning about math shit. Just another day.

* * *

I made a bee line for the usual table, not even bothering to get something to eat. I needed to sit, to try to semi-relax. God, I really hate Mondays.

"Hey, dude," Emmett greeted me, his mouth full of the Monday lunch special. Tacos. I cringed away from the smell and grunted my greetings.

"Aw, what's wrong, sunshine? Monday's got you down in the dumps?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.

"Fuck you," I mumbled, my head laying on the table.

"So, I hear you and Tanya were getting it on in the janitor's closet," Emmett sneered at me. Rosalie made a face at that.

"Ugh, can we all just pretend that didn't happen?" I pleaded with them

"Sorry, no can do. You have to live with the consequences of your desperate actions," Emmett smiled at me, clearly pleased he'd have some more material to work with when teasing me.

"Hey, guys!" I heard from behind me. Alice hopped up to the table and plopped down next to Rosalie. Jasper slid into the seat next to me.

"Dude, watch out. Tanya's walking this way," I lifted my head just in time to see Tanya strutting over to our table.

"Hey, Eddie," she purred, trailing a finger down my chest. I pushed it off.

"Tanya," I said dismissively, turning back to my snickering friends. She wasn't having that. I felt her arms slink around me from behind as she started stroking my stomach.

"I was thinking we could meet up after school today. You seem a little down and I'm positive I could get you_up_," she whispered suggestively in my ear, her hands traveling further south. I removed her arms from around me.

"I don't think so," I grumbled. Everybody was trying to hold in their laughter._ Some friends_.

"Another time, then," she winked at me, before strutting away to her friends. As she walked away, everybody burst into laughter.

"Shut up," I groaned.

"That was too perfect," Emmett choked out, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

"I hate you all."

"Alright, alright. We won't mention it anymore…today," Rosalie said, an evil glint in her eye. I sighed, figuring that was the best I could get for now.

"So, did you all hear?" Alice leaned in. I knew that tone. She had gossip. Usually some stupid small town scandal that me and the guys could care less about.

"Hear what?" Rosalie asked. Gossip really was a girl thing, anyways.

"Chief Swan's daughter is back. She moved here from Phoenix where she was living with her mom. Apparently, they were in a car crash at the beginning of the summer. Her mom died. She's back up here to live with her dad. She's in our grade," she finished, looking triumphant. Alice prided herself on having the best pieces of gossip.

"Alice, how do you know all this?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, I have my ways," Alice answered, a mischievous look in her eye.

"So, wait, is she here?" Rosalie asked, scanning the cafeteria for an unfamiliar face.

"No," Alice shook her head. "She's in the hospital right now. She had some serious injuries from the car accident. Almost died herself. She's almost better now, so she'll be here in a weekish."

"Jeez, Alice. Are you stalking her or something?" Emmett asked.

"No, big dummy. Word gets around. You know how much people talk in this town," Alice responded. It was true. Nothing got this town more riled up than a scandal. No matter the size, a scandal is a scandal.

"Huh. So, you guys wanna come over after school? We could play some more Guitar Hero or something," Emmett proposed. I suddenly realized I had things to do after school. Fantastic.

"Sorry, Em. No can do. Got my community service shit at the hospital."

"Oh, yeah. Well, say hi to Nurse Tracy for me," Emmett said, smiling. That resulted in a quick smack at the back of his head from Rosalie.

"Ow! Rose! Stop doing that!" Emmett whined, rubbing his head.

"Then stop saying stupid shit," Rosalie scolded him.

Just then the bell rang, and we all trudged off to the rest of our classes.

* * *

I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, eager to get this over with. Hospitals were not the ideal place to spend your afternoons.

I went to find Dr. McDermott in his office to let him know I was there. He was up to his ears in paperwork so he told me to do whatever I wanted.

What to do while trapped in a hospital?

I found an empty conference room and quickly finished up any homework I had. That only took up about an hour. This was going to be one hell of an afternoon.

After browsing some files and running away from some very friendly nurses, I settled on wandering the halls. I was up on the third floor, when something caught my attention.

It sounded like somebody singing, I think. I walked in the direction I could hear it coming from and it got louder. Yes, it was definitely somebody singing. And singing well. It was a girl, that much I could tell. I spotted the door it was coming from and walked towards it. I don't even know why, I just needed something to do. I stopped outside the door.

I recognized this girl. She was the same girl Carlisle had been with when I came here on Saturday. She was sitting up in her bed, reading a book, and singing to herself.

I knew this song.

"Bright Eyes?" I asked, suddenly. I couldn't help myself. Such a good band.

Her head shot up from her book and she stared at me. After a few moments, she smiled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in here," I suddenly felt very awkward. But then she smiled. And I felt okay again.

"No, that's fine. You're Dr. Cullen's son, right?" she asked.

"The one and only," I replied sarcastically. She laughed at that. She had a very nice laugh.

"You know the Bright Eyes?" she asked me, looking pleased. I welcomed the topic change.

"Yeah. I'm probably the only one in this town who does. They're all busy listening to crap like Flo-Rida and T-Pain. Basically, nobody in this town has taste," I ranted. It bugged me how close minded the people in my school were about music. If it's not on the top ten on iTunes, then it's not worth listening to. They would be surprised.

"Fantastic," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "You know, people need to listen to more than just some guy rapping about a girl's ass. They need to learn what _real_ music is."

"Finally, somebody who understands," I smiled. This girl knew what she was talking about. I took a seat in the armchair near her bed.

"Have you ever listened to The Decemberists?" I asked. Her eyes lit up.

"Hell yeah! I love them. 16 Military Wives is a work of art. How about Broken Social Scene?"

"Ah, they're the best! I saw them in concert in Portland once. Best night ever."

It went on like that for a while. Naming bands back and forth, commenting and talking. I was strangely comfortable talking with her. I lost all track of time.

Enter, Carlisle.

"Edward?" I heard from the doorway.

Carlisle stood there in his green scrubs with a file under his arm, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Hey," I nodded. He came in and stood at the foot of her bed.

"What are you doing here?" He looked slightly confused. It was rather entertaining.

"Community service," I mumbled, looking at my hands. I really just wanted him to go away.

"Yes, but what are you doing in _here_?" he gestured to the room.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen. I was singing to myself and Edward heard me so he came to investigate. We were just talking. He's very good company," she answered for me. I grinned a little at that. I wasn't exactly used to people calling me 'good company'.

Carlisle furrowed his brow a little before shaking his head.

"Alright. I got a few patients to check up on and then I'll be back. Keep an eye on the time, Edward, you gotta get your slip signed for the day before Dr. McDermott leaves."

"Will do." Carlisle trotted out the door as his pager started beeping.

I sat there for a little while longer, talking to her about all different kinds of music. Any genre, any age, anything. She knew a lot.

After a while I looked at my watch and I sighed. I needed to go find Dr. McDermott, he would be leaving any minute.

"Shit. Sorry, I gotta go," I sighed, noticing her face fall the slightest bit. It was weird. I actually wasn't opposed to the idea of sitting in this room for a while longer, talking to her. But I couldn't right now.

"That's okay," she paused, looking a little shy. "Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked me hesitantly, not looking up from her lap. I smiled a little.

"Sure," her head shot up as I said that and she smiled back. "I mean, I'll be here all week. Might be nice to have something to actually do." She nodded.

"Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow," I started heading out the door when I realized something.

"Hey, what's your name?" I asked sheepishly. I couldn't believe I had been talking to her all afternoon and never even bothered to learn her name. She laughed a little at my expression before answering.

"Bella," she replied. "Bella Swan."

**

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I know this is going painfully slow. Sorry sorry sorry sorry! I'm just trying to figure out how to get this where I want it to go. Just stick with me.**

**Review please? Thanks so much!  
**


	5. Author's Note

I'm so sorry to be doing this, because I know how much I hate being faked out, but I have some things I really want you guys to know.

I haven't given up on this story AT ALL. I got in deep shit with my parents a while ago and since then have been banished from the computer. And basically all human contact. It's been more than a month since I've been on my computer and it's driving me INSANE.

I've been able to get on here a few times at school and what not, but then I'm only able to play around with my profile and review other's stories. All of my stories are saved on my lovely computer which is in the evil clutches of the stepmonster at my dad's place until further notice. I'm hoping to get it back by next month, but I'll just have to wait and see.

So, thank you all for being so patient! Believe me, I'm not liking the wait either.

And now, just to clear some things up about the story.

Yes, the patient in the beginning was Edward's first glimpse at Bella. No drama there.

And also, I'm aware that the Edward in my story is a bit, ahem, different from the Edward we all know and love. Obviously, he's out of character, and I'm sure all the other characters will seem a bit off. But they're not from way back when in this story. They're modern teenagers. This is my interpretation and frankly, I'm liking my Edward. He's really fun to write for.

I'm thinking of changing the rating to M, just so I could have more fun with it. These kids wanna be let loose! I've had some ideas that probably wouldn't be appropriate for a T rated story, but we'll see how things go as soon as I start writing again.

I wanna give a big ol' virtual hug to freakyhazeleyes, thanks so much! I got a bunch of readers telling me you gave me a shout out and I really appreciate it.

Guys, go read her story "Healing". I took many class periods to read through this, I just couldn't stop. You won't be disappointed, I swear.

Okay, by now you're probably groaning at the size of this author's note. I don't blame you. So, that's it for now. Thank you again for being patient. I'm not through yet.

Have a great New Year!


	6. Want To Be Forever Young

**Okay, I'm back indefinitely. I'm allowed on the computer "only when I've proved that I've earned it that day". Exact words. So basically, it's whenever my mom or dad feel like letting me on. Updating will be sporadic for a little while until my parents get bored with punishing me, so just hold on.**

**This chapter is more of a filler, an insight to the relationship Edward has with the other four. I actually kinda liked this chapter, it was fun to finally get back on my computer and write this one. Nothing monumental happening, no Bella in this chapter. I know their relationship is moving slowly, but have no fear! They'll get there.**

**I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, because I'm not sure when exactly I'll be let back on my computer. But here's something to hold you over. Thank you so much for sticking with me!  
**

* * *

It was dark when I pulled up outside of Emmett's house. Of course they were all still there.

I turned the knob on the unlocked door. Emmett must have gone through the door last. He always forgot to lock it. Every fucking time.

I walked in the direction of the living room, hearing the sounds of Through the Fire and Flames and a whole bunch of curses. Sure enough, as I turned the corner, Jasper was standing in front of the TV, guitar in hand. Everybody around him laughed as he failed, only getting 18% through the song.

"Ugh, fuck that!" Jasper growled, shoving the guitar in Emmett's direction.

"Hey, pal. It's cool. Not everybody can match my level of greatness when it comes to this game. I am the Guitar Hero!" Emmett claimed while pumping his fist into the air. Rosalie rolled her eyes at him.

"Sure you are babe," she commented, reaching up to kiss the top of his head. Jasper huffed in frustration before settling himself down on the floor in front of Alice, who was sitting on the couch. Finally, somebody took notice of me standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hey Edward!" Alice chirped from her seat. Everybody turned their heads at her greeting and waved at me.

"Dude, get in here and watch me school all you guys in the ways of Guitar Hero!" Emmett proclaimed, starting in on the song Jasper had just failed. I shook my head at his expression, deep concentration being apparent in his features. He was wearing his signature video game expression. Eyes wide, tongue slightly out, head cocked a fraction of an inch. He looked like a bug on a bad acid trip.

"Still can't beat a song, Jasper?" I teased, flopping down into one of the big armchairs. Jasper smirked at me and proceeded to flip me the bird.

"It's just because I actually play guitar. It's been proven that people who actually play the guitar can't play this game well because we keep trying to play the actual song," he lectured me.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," I muttered. "Maybe it's just because you're not so good with your fingers, Jazz. I mean, we all can tell that Alice is a little less than satisfied-" I was interrupted by a couch cushion hitting me in the face. I picked it off myself, laughing.

"Jackass," Alice mumbled, shaking her head. "And I'll have you know that Jasper is verysatisfying, Edward," she spoke up, causing Jasper to blush a little.

"Good to know, Alice. I'll be sure to go to him in my hour of need next time," I mocked, making a suggestive face at Jasper.

"Anything for you, baby," Jasper said in an overdramatic husky voice. Alice and Rosalie burst into laughter. Emmett, pausing his song, looked over at the two of us, shaking his head.

"You two are so weird," Emmett commented, looking ashamed of us.

"It's okay, Emmett. We wouldn't leave you out of it. I mean, three dicks is _always _better than two," Jasper replied.

"Oh, baby," Emmett stood up and wiggled his hips in Jasper's direction.

"You three are far too comfortable with each other," Rosalie said through her laughs.

"So, Edward, how was the hospital?" Alice asked me after she calmed down.

"Oh," I stalled for a second, debating whether to tell them about my conversation with the newest addition to Forks High. "Boring as fuck, I guess." I shrugged.

So, I guess I wasn't telling them about Bella. No, not yet. Why? Who knows why. I just didn't want them to know.

"Get it on with any nurses?" Emmett asked me, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sorry, Emmett. No smutty tales of a threesome with Nurse Tracy and Nurse Sandy. Yet," I answered.

"Ugh, you guys are pigs sometimes," Alice scoffed at us.

"Sometimes?" Rosalie retorted, glaring at Emmett.

"Aw, come on babe. I'm a dude. Of course I'm gonna talk about naughty nurses. But, I'm not gonna act on it. You're the only one I want in my bed," Emmett said, noticing the glares from Rosalie. She huffed before kissing him on the cheek.

"Alright, fine." Emmett's eyes lit up at being forgiven then turned back to me.

"So, do you think she wears anything under those green scrubs of hers-" Emmett began but, once again, was cut off by a smack to the head.

"Ow! Rose!"

"What?" she asked, a look of fake innocence plastered on her face.

"I swear, you are gonna cause some severe brain damage," Emmett muttered.

"You mean, more than you already have?" Jasper joked, earning a laugh from all of us.

"Fine, Mister I Can't Play Video Games For My Life. Watch and learn!" Emmett turned back to the TV screen, picking out a new song.

And so, I settled in for a night with my friends. And though I had a great time, and thoroughly beat Emmett's fat ass in Halo, I still couldn't help but to think about Bella.

She was all alone in that fucking hospital with all of those prying nurses who undoubtedly were the reason everybody in town knew about her. Couldn't keep those big mouths of theirs shut.

Was she aware that as soon as she was released, all eyes would be on her? I wondered if she would even care.

I was curious as to why exactly she was in the hospital and where her dad was and if she missed her mom.

I wondered if she had nightmares at night.

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I awoke in the middle of the night with a start. I let out a frustrated wail, not concerned about waking anybody up. Carlisle was still at the hospital, or fucking around with an intern…who cares, anyways.

I was panting, sweat coating my body, as I searched for the switch on my lamp. Darkness was not helping my situation.

When a little light finally flooded my room from the tiny lamp on my bedside table, I heaved a sigh of relief. I flopped back down onto my bed, as my heart rate began to slowly get back to normal.

This needed to fucking stop. I couldn't even sleep anymore.

Anytime I even closed my eyes, I was met with that same fucking dream. Over and over and over.

Sleep seemed impossible at this point. What I really wanted was a swig of scotch. However, figuring I would have to be in school in a few short hours, I decided I'd save that for the weekend. No sense in going to school smashed.

Dragging myself out of bed and pulling on a sweatshirt, I decided to just take a drive. Just get in the Volvo and clear my head for a while.

I briefly caught what time it was as I grabbed my keys off the counter in the kitchen. Four in the morning. Ugh, school would be fun today.

The Volvo waited for me, my lovely silver lining whenever I needed it, out in the driveway. I let it warm up for a few short moments before backing out into the streets and speeding away. The house lining the streets were dark; nobody in their right mind would be up at four in the morning when there was school and work to be dealt with when the sun came up.

_So, clearly, you're insane. Go to therapy, you crazy ass motherfucker._

A growl sounded in my chest as my subconscious scolded me. That so wasn't what I needed now.

I sped up, eager to get to someplace that was anywhere but here.

It surprised me a little when I ended up at the elementary school. The brick building was dark, empty naturally. It was smaller than the looming form of the high school across the tiny town; this was a place filled with innocent times. This was a place without drama and homework and tests and worries. I mean, who cared about what college you were going to go to and what you got on your SAT's in elementary school, huh? The most I thought about during my time in this place was who would play the red Power Ranger when Jasper, Emmett, and I would have play dates.

_Pssh, play dates. What are you, an eight year old girl?_

Grinning to myself at the stupid term that was a little embarrassing at this point in my life, I opened up the gate that led into the school yard. The grass was wet from the dew that would be gone after the sun came up. The play structure was off in the distance, with the slides and those clearly dangerous things to climb on, all slightly wet from the perpetual rain this tiny town was subject to.

The tire swing was off to the side, and I was instantly reminded of the time Emmett and I spun Rose so fast that she threw up. I chuckled to myself, remembering how she had kneed Emmett in the groin when we went over after school to bring her the work she had missed.

I headed over towards the swings, wiping one off with my jacket sleeve, before slumping down into it. It was a little too tiny for me, obviously built for somebody half my size. My feet dragged on the ground as the swing rocked back and forth a little bit, and I opted to just sit there and let it do it's thing.

Little snippets of memories kept coming back as my eyes roamed over the school yard.

The tree in the far left corner was where Jasper and Alice had gotten married in fourth grade. Emmett had been the priest, Rosalie the maid of honor, and I the best man. I could clearly recall the blush on Alice's face when Jasper pecked her on the cheek in the end, instead of on her lips. Because, you know, girl's had cooties.

And then there was the part under the bridge of the play structure, which we had deemed boy territory, no girl's allowed, in third grade. Alice and Rosalie weren't too thrilled with that game, and we paid for it the next time we all played together at Alice's house. Makeovers. Glitter, lip gloss, heels, and dresses. The whole nine yards. Jasper and I had been mortified when Esme had come up to take pictures but Emmett had immediately gotten up and strutted his stuff, all the while singing "Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun".

The black top was not too far from where I was sitting, where we played countless games of kickball. One time Mike Newton had requested to join us, and Emmett readily agreed, apparently having something up his sleeve. I was not disappointed as just a few minutes into the game, Mike Newton was standing in the middle of the black top with his pants around his ankles. We immediately started pelting him with the balls and he had fallen over, struggling to get his pants on and maintain his balance at the same time. We had gotten in some serious trouble for that one but, to this day, Newton still was wary of even approaching us.

This place was so full of fond memories, everywhere I looked I remembered something strange or hilarious Emmett had done. _Always Emmett_, I thought while shaking my head.

This place was just the beginning, the start of our little family of five. Ever since kindergarten, it had just been us. I could still remember that day.

_I sat in my chair in the classroom, feeling a little glum. My mom said that it would be okay, but how could it? Alice was my only friend and she got assigned to a different class than me. We had been together since I could remember, and suddenly, I found myself alone._

_I decided right then that I didn't like kindergarten._

_I got to my feet quickly, making a snap decision that I was through with this whole education thing. Who needed to learn anyways?_

_The teacher chose that exact moment when I was about to make my daring escape, to bounce on over to my table, two kids latched onto both of her hands._

"_Edward, what's wrong? Do you need to go potty?" her sugar coated voice rang out. I quickly shook my head, and lowered myself back into my seat. _

"_Well, alrighty then," she continued to smile at me. "Edward, these are your table partners. Rosalie and Jasper. They're twins!" She said this like it was the most interesting thing you would ever hear about a person. Although I wasn't in the mood to play nice, that particular thing did spike my interest a little bit. I raised my gaze to appraise the two kids who were now making themselves comfortable at the table._

_It was a boy and a girl. The girl, Rosalie, had long blonde hair. It was up in a ponytail, and she had a sparkly head band on. She was wearing a jean skirt, with a pink tank top, and pink sneakers. _

_The boy also had blonde hair, slightly shaggy, that hung in his eyes when he looked down. I didn't notice anything about his outfit other than the fact that he was wearing a Power Rangers t-shirt._

"_You like Power Rangers?" I asked, before even realizing what I was doing. He looked up, a shy grin plastered on his face, before answering._

"_Yeah, they're my favorite! I always like to play the green guy."_

"_They're my favorite too! I like the red one best."_

"_I can't believe I'm stuck at a table with two doofus boys. You two better not ignore me!" I whipped my head around to see Rosalie, wagging a tiny finger at us, but with a little sparkle in her eye. Later on in life, she would tell me that she was so happy that her painfully shy brother was talking to somebody other than herself, making new friends. She said she had loved me from the moment I opened my mouth and started blabbering about Power Rangers._

"_That's Rosalie," Jasper rolled his eyes lovingly as his twin sister. "She's my-"_

"_Sister. And I like the pink Ranger," Rosalie finished for Jasper. _

"_That's great! Alice always likes to play the yellow one, so we can all play at recess!" I was getting very excited, thinking of all that we could do with four Rangers instead of just two._

"_Who's Alice?" Jasper asked with a quizzical look on his face._

"_Oh, she's my best friend. But, she's in Ms. Lisa's class so we only get to see her at recess."_

_Recess rolled around and I walked out to the school yard with Jasper and Rosalie, happy that I made new friends but eager to see Alice once again._

_My eyes roamed the playground, before spotting my tiny little friend. My eyebrows mashed together in confusion as I realized she was perched on the back of a boy who looked too big to be five years old._

_Alice spotted me and said something to the massive boy, who quickly sprinted towards the three of us, Alice still holding tight onto his neck._

"_Hey. Eddie!" her squeaky voice rang out, and I huffed at the nickname. Never did like it much._

"_Emmie, lemme down," she spoke to the boy, who quickly let go of her legs, allowing Alice to slide to the ground. She tackled me instantly, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I let out a noise of disgust, wiping at my cheek. She simply giggled before looking back at the boy she had just called Emmie._

"_Edward, this is Emmett. He sits at my table and he likes to play the black Power Ranger!"_

"_No way!" Rosalie, Jasper, and I all exclaimed at the same time. What were the odds that we would all find each other on the same day?_

_This brought Alice's attention away from me and to Rosalie and Jasper standing next to me._

"_I love your head band!" Alice exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly._

"_Thanks," Rosalie smiled back. "I'm Rosalie and that's my twin, Jasper." She motioned to Jasper who was standing to the left of me. Alice looked over at the little boy, before smiling sweetly._

"_Hi," she said softly, still smiling. Jasper stuttered for a few moments before smiling sheepishly at Alice, who still had that grin plastered on her face._

"_Hi," he answered back, blushing a bit._

"_Let's go play!" Alice decided suddenly, grabbing a bewildered Jasper by the hand, and running towards the tree in the corner. Emmett laughed from behind me, before offering Rosalie a piggy back ride. She accepted, and the two trotted off after Alice and Jasper, who were now just situating themselves under the tree._

_I stared at the four people under the shade of the big green tree, the four people I would soon come to call my best friends, the four best Power Rangers in my book._

_I took off after them, taking back what I thought earlier. Kindergarten wasn't so bad._

And so it was. The five of us were inseparable after that. We bonded over our love for Power Rangers on a daily basis and eventually were going to somebody's house every day after school just to play. Our parents became fast friends, and everything was perfect for a while.

I sighed, letting my cheek rest against the cold metal of the swing. If only peace like that could last forever.

Pulling out my cell phone, and checking the time, I realized I should probably be heading back home. It was nearing five thirty and I didn't want to run the risk of Carlisle showing up and wondering where I was off to at odd hours of the night. Not like he was one to talk. Hypocrite.

The sky was now a dull grey instead of the endless black it had been when I had first set out on this little excursion. The sun was set to rise pretty soon.

I walked back to the waiting Volvo, and noticed idly a sign in one of the vacant parking lots. It was reserved for the only therapist that worked here at the elementary school. He rarely saw anything worthy of true therapy. However, I remembered quite distinctly my meeting with him after I came back in second grade.

_I could feel everybody's eyes on me, and after briefly catching one of their glances, I bunched up my hands into tight fists. They looked at me as if I were a ghost, like I was back from the dead or something. The cast wasn't helping any but at least the bandages from my broken ribs were hidden by my shirt._

_I decided to just look down at the floor to avoid any eye contact and hurried to my locker, eager for this day to be over with._

_I briefly thought of my mother and blinked rapidly to keep the building tears back. Crying would not do me any good anymore._

_I hung my jacket and backpack in my locker and rested my head against the cool metal for a quick second, trying to prepare myself for the day I was about to have._

_At that exact moment, I felt a hand slip into my own and squeeze it. I spun around to find Alice standing there with a sad smile on her face._

_I squeezed back, glad that she wasn't looking at me like I was some zombie freak who had just lost his mother. She was looking at me like I was Edward._

"_Edward?" I heard a man's voice say from a few feet away. I broke Alice's gaze to see the school therapist, Mr. Martinez, looking at me expectantly. I had only seen the man a few times, but only from afar._

"_Yes?" I answered, a little frightened. Alice gave my hand another squeeze, sensing my discomfort._

_He walked over to me before placing his hand on my shoulder._

"_I was just wondering if we could go to my office and talk for a little bit? I already cleared it with Mrs. Parker so don't worry." He phrased it as a question but I knew there was no getting out of it. Alice got up on her tiptoes and lightly pecked me on the cheek._

"_I'll see you at lunch, Eddie!" she waved before disappearing into the class we shared._

_His office wasn't too big. He had only a desk and two very large chairs, one that I was currently residing in. The arms and the back rose high above me and I felt as though I were caged in; trapped. Mr. Martinez sat behind his desk, smiling softly at me. What was the man waiting for? Did I have something on my face?_

_I reached up quickly and wiped a hand across my chin, searching for any syrup from the pancakes I had for breakfast that morning. Nothing._

"_So, Edward, how are you doing?" Ah, so we were going to talk. How nice._

"_Fine," I answered simply, and for the first time in my life, I wished to be in my classroom, doing math or reading or anything but sitting here and talking to this man._

"_I know coming back to school doesn't seem like much fun right now, but I just want you to know that I'm here if you ever need to talk."_

_I pulled my knees up to my chest, curling into myself._

"_Edward, do you want to talk about what happened?" I shoved my head in between my knees, escaping his stare._

"_No," I said firmly._

_He kept me in his office forever, talking about mundane topics and every once in a while trying to get me to talk about my mom. Not gonna happen, pal._

_Finally, he let me go out as it was time for lunch and recess. He escorted me to the cafeteria, and I headed towards our usual table, not at all interested in eating. It was only Alice there, waiting for me._

"_Hey, Eddie!" she greeted me enthusiastically. "I missed you in class this morning. Somebody spilled water on Mike's seat and the back of his pants got all wet, it was so funny." She giggled, remembering. I chuckled along with her, as anything that stupid Newton kid did seemed entertaining to me._

"_You wanna eat?" She cocked an eyebrow at me and my current foodless state. I shook my head. Alice nodded before grabbing my hand and dragging me out the doors._

"_Everybody already had their lunch and went to sit under the tree. I waited for you so you would know where we were."_

_I looked over at the tree and, sure enough, our three friends were currently sitting in the green grass, laughing and talking. They turned and smiled when Alice and I approached._

"_Hey, guys!" Rosalie called out._

"_Edward, I heard you got to miss class this morning. I'm jealous," Emmett told me, grinning his goofy smile. Alice and I sat down in the grass with them._

_My chest started to feel heavy suddenly. My breathing sped up a little bit and my vision started to cloud. My friends didn't seem to notice._

"_Let's play some Power Rangers, guys! How about it Edward? Edward?" Emmett announced, looking my way and noticing my expression. I could distinctly feel the tears sliding down my cheeks. I had been trying all morning in the therapist's office to keep these stupid tears from falling but it was just too much. At least here I was with my friend's._

"_Edward, it's okay," Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. That did it. The dam broke, and folded into myself again, sobbing loudly._

_I could feel somebody hugging me, somebody else grabbing my hand, and another hand rubbing my back. There were soothing words surrounding me, but I couldn't hear them over my sobs. I just needed to cry._

_They let me. They held me in the grass, as I cried for my lost mother. That was the last time I cried for her._

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I pulled into our driveway, turning off the Volvo. Surprise fucking surprise, Carlisle was yet to be back from romping around in Fork's pussy population. I laid my head against the steering wheel for a few seconds, just collecting myself. My day at school wouldn't be the best, but I've dealt with worse. I couldn't recall if I had any major tests, which probably meant I didn't. And if I did, they must not be in very important subjects. So, I was set for the day.

I went into the kitchen, setting down my keys and hanging up my jacket. The coffee wasn't made yet, so I turned on the pot before deciding that a good hot shower was in order.

I ran upstairs and turned it as hot as it would go, shedding my clothes in the process, and stepping under the spray. It hit me and I closed my eyes, letting it warm up my skin.

The shower helped ease my tense muscles and I hopped out, putting a towel around my waist.

I had to wipe at the mirror, as it had fogged up from the heat, and looked at myself in the reflection. I was wet, obviously, and my skin was a little red from the temperature of the shower. My hair was hanging in my eyes, which were bloodshot and a little pink. It would be obvious to Alice that I hadn't slept very well, and she would try to get me to talk. I didn't like to talk about that with anyone, not even Alice. The nightmares were my burden to bear.

I threw some clothes on, a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, before throwing my favorite black hoodie and Converse on my feet. I flew down the stairs, eager to get to my coffee. Come third period, I would be very thankful for the caffeine.

I was surprised to find that it was time to head to school. Carlisle must have gone straight to work from whatever bed he was taking up space in last night.

I filled up a thermos with my coffee, slung my bag over my back, and picked up my keys from where I had deposited them on the counter awhile ago.

I climbed right back into the Volvo once again and backed right out the driveway. This time, however, I turned the other way, heading towards the high school.

The rain started to fall, as it tended to do every single day. I shouldn't even be surprised anymore about just how much it rained here. It was the reality of this dull town.

Pulling into my usual spot in the parking lot of the school, I put my hood over my head before stepping out into the rain which was now coming down steadier.

"Hey, guys," I greeted my friends who were waiting under the overhang of the cafeteria at a picnic table. I was greeted as I sat down beside Rosalie.

Alice sat across from me with Jasper and I could see her scrutinizing my very tired face. I shot her a look back and waved it off, hoping she would let it go. She rolled her eyes at me before turning to say something to Jasper.

Rosalie nudged me in the shoulder as I took a sip from my coffee.

"You feel okay, Edward?" she asked softly. I must have really looked like crap for Rosalie to ask. She noticed when I wasn't doing my best but generally respected the fact that I didn't particularly want to talk about my feelings and shit.

"Yeah," I answered, taking another gulp of my fast disappearing coffee.

"Alright," she conceded, leaning against Emmett's shoulder as he talked excitedly about some video he had found on YouTube.

I drained the rest of my thermos, before laying my head down on my arms in front of me, my hood still resting on my head.

I started to doze, before being jolted awake by the warning bell.

"Come on, buddy. Off to calculus, we go," Jasper patted my back, Alice latched onto his hand.

"Whoop-de-fucking-do," I grumbled, trudging off to begin another monotonous day at Forks High.

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**Like I said, nothing monumental, but I liked writing the flashbacks. So, now you guys can see just how much Edward depends on his little family of friends. He relies on them more than he likes to think. Oh, Edward, when will you learn? NO MAN IS AN ISLAND!!! **

**Hahaha, okay, so pleeeeeeease pretty please with Edward on top review! Liked it? Didn't like it? Tell me what you think! Thanks!  
**


	7. Chapter 4: Bella POV

**This isn't a real chapter, you could say. Basically what I'm saying is that this wasn't what I intended next for the story. This was just what I ended up writing to try to cure a little writer's block. Somebody asked me when I was going to do Bella's point of view, so I decided to experiment. Please, don't think I'm not taking this story anywhere. This is just something a little extra, because you've all been so great to me :)**

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out. I'm working on it but, as this proves, I got a little distracted. So, enjoy this little treat and hopefully you'll hear from me soon.  
**

**Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! I actually showed them to my mom, to prove that it was necessary that I get allowed more time on the computer. She might be caving....cross your fingers.**

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**Bella POV**

Day three thousand on the alien planet.

I don't know why Charlie insisted on keeping me locked up in this white washed, puke-tastic, sorry excuse for a hospital.

It was true that he was out of town a lot, seeing as how Forks rarely saw any crime action, while the cities around us saw plenty. The Chief took every opportunity to get out of here and play detective for a while. Not that I blamed him; I would take any excuse to escape this disastrously rainy town.

Oh, wait. That's right. Forks wasn't a town. Not really.

See, most people didn't know it, but Forks was actually a hamlet.

_A hamlet._

A town inside a town. It didn't even deserve to be called a village.

So here I was, cooped up in a claustrophobic room. I only had one IV left in me and just recently my heart monitor had been turned off. Dr. Cullen said I was basically recovered from the major surgery I had on my back from my injuries in the accident, but Charlie refused to let me go home by myself. He was up in Seattle, a city he frequented in, looking for somebody's missing hand or whatever. He would be home by the end of the week and I would be a free bird. Well, as free as anybody is in a new town where they know nobody.

Well, at least I would be free to pee without alerting a nurse beforehand. That got embarrassing, and I think my cheeks were turning permanently red from all the blushing I had been doing lately.

I knew they were all watching me. Especially those nurses. Vultures.

I had spent a little time here as a kid, visiting Charlie on holidays, and it was enough to gather that not much went down in Forks.

So, the Chief's daughter making her homecoming after the sudden death of her mother was really front page news. My face was probably plastered all over the gossip columns.

School would be an entirely different ordeal, and I cuddled into my blankets a little more thinking about it. Charlie had subject me to a few play dates with the locals when all his attempts at entertaining a grumpy ten year old had failed. And as I recall, the girls that had been forced to become my 'new best friends' weren't exactly charming and warm.

The people in this town lived in the middle of nowhere, so they thought they knew everything about the world. They felt safe in their little bubble and rarely acknowledged the outside world. And the kids were especially bad. Following all the fads they read in People magazine, trying to copy some of Lauren and Heidi's tactics, and popping their collar while blasting some Akon in their Mercedes. They would most likely go out into the real world, probably down in southern California, and land flat on their faces, only to come crawling back to Daddy and his AmEx. But until then, there were stuck in this horrible mind set.

Worse than that, they had all grown up together. They had been with each other since their diaper days, and I was coming into the game far too late. The cliques had been made, the rules set. I would most likely spend my senior year avoiding their penetrating stares and eating alone at lunch. My social life was officially nonexistent.

"_You should wear a mini skirt and heels the first day of school; strut your stuff. Show them you're the hot new girl from Phoenix and you should not be messed with!"_

I smiled sadly to myself as I heard my mom say that in my mind. It would be exactly what she would say, too. She would want me to walk tall and be proud, not plug in my iPod and bury myself in a book like my normal reaction would be. That was her, though. Wild, crazy, and out there; she didn't care what other people thought of her.

I missed her so much. Some days it hurt more than others. We had been hit driving to go see Phil in a baseball game in June. The guy had been drunk. Each and every day I wanted to track the guy down and kill him. His recklessness had cost my young and lovable mother her life.

But I knew it would do no good. The guy knew what he had done. And I knew my mother wouldn't want me to hurt anybody. She was a gentle person.

I also knew that she wouldn't want me to wallow. She would want me to heal and move on. Start my life with Charlie, get through senior year, and flirt with some cute boys along the way.

So that's what I was doing. With my mother's memory fresh in my mind, I decided right then and there that I would do this for her. I would live my life in memory of my mother, and all she could have been.

--------------------------------------------------

It was this faith in my mother that got me to act like a normal person and talk to him that first day.

I had been reading Wuthering Heights for the eighty millionth time, thinking about how much I needed a trip to a bookstore, when I heard his voice.

"Bright Eyes?" I heard that smooth, velvety voice sound from my doorway. I looked up to see Dr. Cullen's son standing in the doorway, a surprised and curious expression plastered on his perfect features.

I had only seen him once before, last Saturday morning when he had come to talk to Dr. Cullen. I had immediately recognized just how gorgeous he was. I shouldn't have been surprised, really, considering who his dad was.

I realized I must have been singing, as my mom would often catch me doing while I read. It could get embarrassing if I sang too loud, but my mom found it endearing. She said people sang the best when they didn't think anybody else could hear them.

I was very impressed that he knew the band. Although they weren't some underground, grunge band or anything like that, I found it hard to believe that anybody in this town would listen to something that wasn't played on the radio repeatedly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in here," he shifted awkwardly, and I couldn't help it. He just looked so god damn cute, I had to smile.

"No, that's fine. You're Dr. Cullen's son, right?"

He smirked, making his way into the room cautiously.

"The one and only," he muttered sarcastically. I giggled at him again, unable to help myself. Edward, as Dr. Cullen had mentioned his name was, was bringing out the giggly twelve year old girl in me. It was surprisingly refreshing.

"You know the Bright Eyes?" I asked him, hoping I hadn't freaked him out with my random fits of laughter. I was also genuinely interested in what he would say. If he was gorgeous _and _had good taste in music he couldn't be all that bad.

"Yeah. I'm probably the only one in this town who does. They're all busy listening to crap like Flo-Rida and T-Pain. Basically, nobody in this town has taste."

Ah, so my musings were confirmed about the youth of Forks.

"Fantastic," I muttered under my breath while rolling my eyes. "You know, people need to listen to more than just some guy rapping about a girl's ass. They need to learn what **real** music is."

His eyes were alight with what looked to be excitement. He was probably just as pleased to find another person with actual music taste.

"Finally, somebody who understands," he flashed this heart-stopping, kind of lopsided grin at me. My vision blurred for a second, and I got lost in the way the bronze color reflected in his hair as he settled himself down in the armchair by my bed. I was brought back down to earth when he started speaking.

"Have you ever listened to The Decemberists?" My heart stopped for a second when he said this and I felt like giggling all over again. Edward was hitting all my favorite bands.

"Hell yeah! I love them. 16 Military Wives is a work of art. How about Broken Social Scene?"

Of course, he knew them too, saying he had been to one of their concerts in Portland.

I found my mouth working faster than I thought possible as I spewed out all of my favorite bands, and listened intently as he talked about his. We disagreed on a few things, but agreed on most things. Our taste in music was freakishly similar.

I found myself getting lost in him, without even realizing it.

His emerald green eyes would light up when I mentioned a band he knew. He would furrow his brows when I mentioned a band he didn't know. He would run his hand through his hair in frustration and sigh when we disagreed, though I could still see that playful light gleaming in his eye so I knew he didn't actually think I was crazy. He would gesture with his hands a lot, especially when describing a concert or the first time he heard a song. And his grin was always crooked.

"Edward?"

Dr. Cullen stood in the doorway, looking in confusion at the scene before him. Edward tense considerably, looking slightly annoyed by his father's presence.

"Hey," he nodded his head slightly in Dr. Cullen's direction, who was now situated at the end of my bed, still looking all confused. I could see where Edward got some of his mannerisms from; Dr. Cullen's eyebrows were mashed together as his eyes darted in between the two of us.

Edward took a great interest in his hands, not daring to make eye contact with his father. The tension in the air was thick; it was obvious these two did not get along.

"What are you doing here?"

"Community service," Edward barely murmured. Ah, so that was the reason he was aimlessly wandering the hallways of Forks General when he could be out having a life. I had just assumed he was looking for his day.

"Yes, but what are you doing in _here_?" Edward's previous response did not satisfy Dr. Cullen, and he pressed for more information. Edward's lips were starting to form a frown and he clearly looked annoyed, so I decided to save him.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen. I was singing and Edward heard me so he came to investigate. We were just talking. He's very good company." There. Hopefully that would please him.

Edward's lips twitched into a half grin, and I was happy that I had done something right by him.

"Alright. I got a few patients to check up on and then I'll be back. Keep an eye on the time, Edward, you gotta get your slip signed for the day before Dr. McDermott leaves."

Dr. Cullen's pager went off, signaling he was needed somewhere. Probably in the ER.

Edward relaxed the second Dr. Cullen slipped out the door, practically falling back into the chair. We picked up right where we left off in our conversation. It was strange, how natural it felt to sit here and talk with him like I had known him my whole life.

Not that I was a complete outcast in Phoenix, I had my fair share of friends. But they were a select few and didn't necessarily take up my while life. I was more of a solitary person, I simply preferred being left to myself.

My mom was really my best friend anyways.

So, it wasn't exactly in character of me to pick up a conversation with an incredibly good looking boy in a new town that I had only met briefly once before. But Edward had that effect on me.

Before I knew it, he was glancing at his watch, saying he had to go. Stupid community service slip.

I watched, feeling strangely sad, as he gathered himself and went to stand up.

I wondered how long his community service was for? Was it just today or all week or all month? If he was coming back, would he come see me again? It wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked softly, afraid he would laugh in my face and tell me he had better things to do.

"Sure," he said, sounding quite happy. I lifted my head up and met his gaze and he had on that lovely crooked grin. Straight smiles were so overrated. "I mean, I'll be here all week. Might be nice to have something to actually do."

"Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow." _Internal happy dance._

He started to head out the door, before stopping suddenly and whirling back around. His expression told me he thought he had done something wrong and I instantly braced myself. Did he just realize he didn't want to spend his time with some weird girl in a hospital?

"Hey, what's your name?" Oh, wow. I can't believe I had forgotten to tell him my freakin' name. The grin reappeared on my face, I couldn't believe neither of us had though to bring up the subject of my name.

"Bella. Bella Swan."

I saw a flash of recognition in his eyes, before he nodded and waved, making his exit.

So, he had heard of me. Stupid nurses. Stupid gossip mongers.

I had no idea what he heard about me, but he didn't take back what he said about coming tomorrow, so it must not have been too bad.

I just hoped he wouldn't treat me differently. Because, although it had only been about three months, I was so sick of the way people acted around me when they found out.

As if I had to be handled with extra care. Like I was some delicate piece of china that would shatter into a million pieces of they said the wrong thing.

I don't think I could stand it if Edward treated me like that. Because, finally, the idea of sticking around Forks a while longer didn't make me want to hurl.

Because if Edward and I could be friends, if he could just smile at me in school and talk to me in the hallways, I could do it. And it didn't hurt that he was positively gorgeous.

Renee would be so proud.

**

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We like Bella's POV? I enjoyed writing for her, and I may just do the next chapter in her point of view as well. Or maybe a little bit of both. Tell me what you think!**


	8. Someday You Will Be Loved

**Hey guys! Thanks for waiting patiently. I tried some more Bella POV in this chapter. Hope you like it. My updates keep getting all messed up. First, I had limited access to my computer. My parents have let up on that a bit. But then I had midterms last week. And now I'm failing math, which have my parents on my case again. So, I'll write when I can and update when I can. I'm sorry for all this crazyness.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any characters.  
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**Bella POV**

"Hey there, sunshine!"

I couldn't help it, I had to tease him.

Everyday this week, Edward had come back looking more and more grumpy. Not with me; as soon as we got a good conversation flowing, he had the light in his eyes.

But it was obvious the root of his problems was that he wasn't getting enough sleep. His eyes were bloodshot and the bags were getting more noticeable each day. He always came in wearing the same sweatshirt, hood pulled up. His feet dragged and he always fell into the chair as if it were his savior.

The guy was exhausted.

Whenever I'd ask him about it, he'd wave it off. I figured it probably had something to do with school. Perhaps he had a project or a big test or it was just simply a stressful week for him? Maybe having to spend all his time at the hospital was interfering with his study time.

I suggested that he get his work done at the hospital, instead of wasting his time with me. He simply scoffed at that, frowning slightly.

"Please, Bells. I could pass those classes with only half of brain intact. Plus, this time is hardly a waste."

He had taken to calling me that. Bells. Nobody had ever given me a nickname before. Well, except Bobby McGuire in second grade. But Mrs. Cry Baby Poopy Pants wasn't exactly flattering.

The nickname made me feel like we were friends. And gave me confidence that he did like spending his time with me.

I tried not to let him saying our time together wasn't a waste go to my head. This was the main problem with Edward and I, although he wasn't aware of it.

Each day, I fell for him a little harder.

I tried not to; truly, I did. But, oh god, it was just so _hard _not to want to tear of all of our clothes when he flashed that stupid crooked grin at me.

_It's just because he's the only friend you've got at this point. As soon as you get to school, this infatuation will go away. Don't ruin this._

I told myself it was just some stupid crush. I liked him simply because he was decent enough to take time out of his busy schedule to come into my room and chat with me about music or books or anything really.

And, you know, it could be true. I didn't know anybody in this town right now. As soon as I got to school, I would be reminded that there were more members of the male gender, and I would get over my little Edward obsession.

Plus, he was the only friend I had at this point. And he was turning into a really great one. We agreed on most things, but not all. We had arguments sometimes when we didn't agree, and it was interesting to see him get so passionate about something. He wasn't afraid of me like most people around here were. I knew he knew who I was and what had happened, but he never brought it up. I was thankful for that; I had had enough of people trying to analyze my situation. Edward came in the day after our first talk, acting just the same as he had before he learned my name. And for that, I was extremely grateful.

And so, much like the past few days, Edward dragged himself into my room, plopping down in the armchair. He scrunched up his face in annoyance at my calling him sunshine, which made me laugh. I had learned over the last week that he wasn't very fond of nicknames for himself.

His complete and utter disdain for the nickname "Eddie" was quite endearing. When I had questioned him on it, even threatened to call him it if he didn't explain himself, he simply stated that it made him feel like he was a five year old. He looked out the window then, and sighed. I could tell he really didn't like the nickname, and the subject was quickly dropped.

"How was school?" I questioned him, the topic we started on everyday.

"Some kid set off the sprinklers, so we got to go home early." He had his elbow propped up on the arm of his chair, his head resting in his hand. His long legs were splayed out in front of him, and his hood was still up. I wanted to reach over and yank it off; I could only see the tips of his bronze locks with the stupid thing on.

I supposed it was for the better. Whenever his hair was out on display, I was constantly fighting the urge to run my fingers through it.

"You kids and your shenanigans," I chuckled to myself. These kids really had nothing better to do than set off some sprinklers in a school?

Edward chuckled with me, bringing his other hand up to rub at his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure this is quite a change from your school in Phoenix. Think you can handle it?"

"Well, it will definitely be different. My school in Phoenix had, like, three thousand kids in it. And definitely much more stuff being pulled than the sprinklers being set off."

Edward sighed, before shifting to put his head in his other hand.

"So, how's life at the hospital?" He asked me, a smirk on his face. He knew how much I hated it here.

"Oh, just fine and dandy, thanks for asking. I woke up this morning, had some jello, and then watched Oprah. That woman is a powerhouse." He shook his head, clearly entertained by my lack of excitement in my day.

"I'm just so glad to finally be getting out of here." At this, he raised his eyebrows, looking a little more alert.

"You breaking out?" I smirked at his teasing.

"Nope. Charlie's finally coming home. I'm getting out tomorrow." I sounded as though I was discussing my release from prison. Well, it was pretty close.

"Well, that's convenient, considering this is my last day of community service. I know you would be lost without me gracing you with my presence everyday."

"Hey pal, I lasted quite some time without you here. You think I couldn't last a day?" He narrowed his eyes, a smug grin playing on his lips. He knew me better than I thought.

"Ye of little faith," I grumbled, annoyed that I was so transparent. Was he really so aware of my dependency on him, that I couldn't even fathom going one day in here without having his visit to look forward too?

Well, that's a little embarrassing.

"So, when are you going to be starting school?"

"Today's Friday?" He nodded his head. "Well, since I've been absolutely fine for a while now, I suppose I'll probably be starting Monday. No need to hold it off any longer."

He nodded his head, looking out the window as the raindrops streaked down the glass.

"Will I see you there?" I felt a little uncomfortable asking this, especially when he dropped his gaze from the window to inspect his hands once more. I noticed he did this whenever he was feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah, sure. I mean, I guess."

Well, that's reassuring.

We sat in a tense silence for a few seconds before I couldn't stand it. I didn't know what made him uncomfortable. It must have been something I said, something about school?

We didn't talk much about school, honestly. Basically, we didn't talk about his social life. I didn't know about his family or friends or, dare I say, girlfriends. I could list his favorite songs by Nine Inch Nails (Heresy, Closer, and The Hand That Feeds) and his favorite ice cream flavor (Mint Chocolate Chip), but I had absolutely no clue who he hung out with on the weekends. I only knew about his father because he was my doctor. I never heard anything about his mom, his friends, any of that.

It was strange, but if he wasn't willing to share, who was I to push him?

My greatest fear was that he was only being nice. When Edward was here, talking to me, I felt okay about it. But as soon as he stepped out the door, I began to think. And that was never safe.

It was very possible that he only felt sorry for me. He might just think of me as some charity case. He could just be taking pity on the fact that I was alone and new in town, brought here by a tragic twist of fate.

But, I just didn't get that vibe from him. He smiled a genuine smile at me when he stepped through the door, and he wasn't afraid to ruffle my feathers. He didn't tread around me, treating me delicately. He didn't hesitate to get in my face or tease me or anything like that.

I wanted him as a friend; truly, I did. But he was just so damn hard to figure out! One minute I think he might like me, the next he's acting all awkward about seeing me at school? What could that possible mean? And we could talk about anything, except that _one thing._

Maybe he didn't have very many friends? Nope, that would be completely impossible. He was gorgeous, funny, sweet yet sarcastic…he must have people lining up to hear what he has to say next.

Which brought me back to my earlier musings. Perhaps this little thing between Edward and I was could only exist in the confines of Forks General. As soon as I got to school, he would only give me the occasional nod or grin.

The thought of never being able to just sit and talk with Edward after today made my head spin. Everything about Edward just left me so confused and dizzy.

_I'm so dizzy, my head is spinning. Like a whirlpool, it never ends. And it's you boy, making it spin. You're making me dizzy…_

"Cute, Bells."

I blushed furiously, realizing that I had once again began singing out loud. Edward looked at me playfully, one eyebrow arched, as he took in my crimson face. I was seriously thankful that he didn't know why I had chosen that particular song to sing.

"Sorry, it's been stuck in my head all day," I lied lamely, brushing it off.

He continued to smirk at me, finding my random musical outbursts funny. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, before reaching back and pushing his hood off. It fell back, and he ran his hand through his hair. I idly wondered why he did that? It was already messy enough without him raking his fingers through it. But maybe he liked it messy.

"So, any survival tips for school?" Edward tapped his chin with his finger, pondering my question.

"Avoid Newton."

Huh? Newton?

"Care to elaborate?" He chuckled, before explaining.

"Annoying prick. You'll know him when you see him. He resembles a golden retriever, and I'm sure he'll be all over you on Monday. It's his thing, terrorizing girls."

"Fan-freakin'-tastic."

"Really, have you taken the time to mentally prepare for what awaits you at school? Because, I'm telling you right now, that lovely little blush of yours will be present the entire day. Nothing gets the guys at Forks High more excited than fresh meat."

"Thanks for the warning." I groaned, not knowing how I would handle that particular situation. Teenage boys were relentless when it came to their hormones.

"Although, I guess you're pretty used to people staring at you by now," Edward said as he death glared a nurse who was not so subtly peering in on our conversation. She simply winked at Edward before sashaying away.

He shuddered before turning back to me.

"They really should learn to keep their eyes to themselves," he muttered. I laughed; he just looked too adorable, all frustrated.

"It's not their fault that you're a very hot son of a very hot doctor," I instantly blushed as I realized what I said. Hopefully he hadn't heard me call him hot, or maybe he just didn't notice.

"What is with girls and my father, huh? Can't you females keep your comments to yourselves?" I had clearly hit a nerve with him about the whole hot daddy thing.

"Oh, wait? Jealous that Dr. Cullen is stealing the spotlight?" I teased.

"No, not at all. He could have the fuckin' spotlight for all I care. But all you girls wouldn't be trying to get up in his junk if you knew what he was really like." He muttered the last part darkly, glancing once more out the window.

"What do you mean?" I half whispered, all desire to tease leaving me instantly. This gave me new insight on the taboo topic. Edward clearly had a problem with his dad.

"Nothing. Never mind. My friend's are just always giving me crap about having a hot dad. Gets on my nerves sometimes."

"Friends, huh? At this point I was starting to think you didn't have any." He flashed his eyes to me once more.

"And why would you say that?"

"Not once this entire week had I ever heard anything about friends. I thought maybe since you had such awesome taste in music, nobody around here would be willing to hang out with you. Or you with them." He smiled, finally.

"Well, I do have friends, thank you very much." I was glad for the change in tone, the teasing atmosphere back in the room.

"Oh? And they would be…" I egged him on, practically bouncing. I was so excited to finally hear about his friends. I found anything about Edward, even the tiniest detail, to be absolutely fascinating.

"Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett."

Ah, so they have names.

They all had somewhat outdated names, much like Edward's. Small town names, I suppose.

"What are they like?"

"Crazy, I guess you could say." Edward's eyes shone in a way I had never seen them before. The green in his eyes were light, and looked to be somewhat twinkling. He must really love his friends.

"Good crazy?" Though, from the look in his eyes, I already knew the answer.

"Yeah. Good crazy." He didn't offer anymore information, and I couldn't think of a way to casually bring them up.

"So, yeah. School should definitely be interesting. I mean, you all must have your little cliques sorted out by now. No room for the new girl by senior year."

"Don't worry. I'm sure Mike will be more than happy to offer you a seat at his lunch table." He started in on the teasing again, and I let the subject drop. I felt a little rejected; the fact that he did not offer me a seat at _his _table didn't escape me.

We eased into our discussion for the day, ranging from politics to hippos (Edward brought up that one). We debated Hungry Hungry Hippos. Edward argued that the green one was the best, since it was a man, and therefore could gobble up more than any other hippo. I sided with the pink one simply because…pink rocks. I'm not a hardcore feminist per se but I amped up the girl power attitude simply to get under Edward's skin. It worked. He was too easy.

Before long, it was time for him to pack up and head on out. My heart sank as I realized he had still never brought up the subject of lunch or friends again.

He had his bag over his shoulder and his hood was once again placed on his head when he turned to me, looking at me intently.

"Bye Bella," he whispered softly. "Good luck in school."

And with that, he was gone.

The way he said it, it made me feel like I would never see him again. Or rather, this conversation was our last.

_You're being stupid. You knew this was how it would play out._

I tried to rationalize it with myself. I knew that Edward had his friends and his life and I was coming in too late. This stupid infatuation would wear off in time as I actually got out into the real world. Edward was simply good company for my dull days in the hospital. I _knew _that.

So, why did it hurt so much when he turned around and left me all alone?

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**Edward POV**

_Turn around and go back to her._

_No, keep moving. It's not that big of a deal._

The little voices in my head were getting to me. Shut up, fuckers!

I kept moving, my Converse hitting the floor, as I swiftly made my exit.

_Brown, laughter, warm, lips, blush, Bella…_

"Shut up, shut up," I pounded the side of my head and once more contemplated getting myself locked up in the loony bin.

The past week had been…fun, for lack of better words. It was refreshing to get to talk to a girl who clearly didn't have her head shoved up her ass. Forks girls were all about the three M's. Money, Men, and Martinis.

Bella just wasn't like that, though. She had actual opinions about topics other than make up and hair products. She didn't say anything just to please me; she kept it real. Bella Swan was like a breath of fresh air.

But we couldn't be friends. Not at this point.

Because she was right when she said that we all had our cliques. It was me, Em, Jazz, Rose, and Alice. That's how it had always been. It was too late.

It wasn't like I was some snooty bastard who didn't think Bella was good enough. But nobody really understood our group's dynamic, even people we had known since preschool.

Bella had a better chance of being happy with the other kids in our school. She could sit with the Newton crowd; they were always welcoming to the newest female additions to Forks High. I felt a little bad subjecting her to Newton and Crowley, among others. But, the girls weren't too bad, save for Tanya, Jessica, and Lauren…She would get along with Angela, most likely. She was a sweet girl.

More than anything, though, my friends have been there from the start. They knew all about me and my mom and stupid problems. They _understood _because they were _there._ They knew when I was in a mood, or if I just needed to hang out to get away from my house, because that's how we were. Everybody else saw me as some asshole with a hot daddy, who liked to fuck around with girls. But my friends, they knew the truth.

How could you just explain to someone about all that?

You couldn't.

I couldn't.

Nobody would ever really fit in our group. We were in too deep. And Bella deserved a chance at some nice friends that wouldn't make her feel like an outsider. She didn't need all my bullshit and she definitely didn't need to know the truth.

It would just make everything that much easier when she got to school on Monday and she heard all the rumors about me. She would forget the week we spent together, as would I, and she would move on.

This Bonding Over Music Time was really like a summer fling. Fun, short, and based on things that didn't necessarily matter. She didn't know me and I didn't really know her and it had been fun but it was time to go back to school and face reality. And the reality was that we wouldn't be friends. It would be easier for the both of us, especially her.

I could see it in her eyes. I knew she wanted me to say something, anything, that indicated this would continue. Even something small, like asking if she would like to sit with me at lunch. I couldn't give that to her, and I knew it hurt her a little, but she would get over it.

I knew it probably seemed like a big deal to her right now. But that was just because I was the only person she knew in this place. And it wasn't as if I would never even acknowledge her presence. She was a cool, sweet, funny girl and it wouldn't hurt for me to be polite.

But I just couldn't offer her my friendship. She was asking for more than I had to give.

I hopped into the Volvo, revving the engine, before peeling out of the parking lot.

_Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer, Boy don't try to front I I know just just what you are are are_

I groaned, realizing that it was _my _cell phone spouting out some Britney Spears. Alice must have changed my ring tone when I wasn't paying attention.

Sure enough, as I pulled the phone up to check who it was, Alice flashed on the screen. I flipped it open, ready to lecture her on the evils of Britney.

"Womanizer? Really, Alice?" I heard giggling on the other end.

"I thought it suit you well, Eddie," she teased, and I growled into the phone. "We're all at Emmett's. When are you gonna be here?" I let go the Womanizer reference for now, too spent to get into a debate with Alice.

"I just left the hospital, so I'll be there in a few minutes." I could hear murmuring on the other line, and a muffled fumbling sound.

"Alice?" I asked, wondering what in the hell she was doing.

"Eddie!" I shook my head as Emmett's booming voice came over the phone. "When you gonna be here, man?" I actually had to resort to lifting the phone away from my ear, he was that loud.

"A few minutes, Em. Calm down, you'll shoot in your pants." He grumbled at my comment.

"Shut it, Eddie. I just miss you, man." I chuckled softly to myself. I found it funny how at a first glance, people were usually afraid of Emmett. He was just a big teddy bear.

"I miss you too, pal," I said teasingly. "Are you well stocked? It's been a long week." I heard his loud guffaws.

"Very well stocked, my friend. All with you in mind." I grinned. They really did know me well.

"Alright, well I'm turning on your street now. See you in a few.

"See ya."

I clicked my phone shut, pulling up to the curb outside of Emmett's house.

This was my reality. This was safe. This was how it was supposed to be.

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**Reviews are greatly appreciated and get me writing faster! Thanks guys!  
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	9. Curly Fry In A Box of Regular

**Hey, guys! First, thanks for the reviews and whatnot for the last chapter! It makes me so happy to hear that you guys are enjoying this story.**

**This is Bella's first day. I hope I didn't disappoint in how everything happens. It took me a little while to write this one, but I hope it was worth the wait. This is the longest chapter I've written by far, so I hope everybody likes it.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
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Bella POV

_BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Why do alarm clocks exist?

Still more or less asleep, I fumbled blindly for the offense little thing, intent on beating it to the ground. It was too dark outside my window for such deafening sounds to be penetrating my lovely state of unconsciousness.

At last my flailing hand found the alarm clock perched on my bed side table. I smacked down on it hard, letting it know I was not pleased. Silence filled my room and I easily slipped back into sleep.

What felt like thirty seconds, but was actually about thirty minutes later, Charlie was pounding on my door.

"Bella, come on! You don't want to be late for your first day!" I grumbled out something incoherent, chancing a peek at my clock. The blinking red numbers told me it was 7:15, and that got me moving. School started at eight, and I still needed to take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get my butt to school. And Charlie was right. I did _not _want to be late for my first day. People were already expecting my arrival; no need to attract more unnecessary attention to myself.

Throwing off my covers and hopping to my feet, I dashed to my door, throwing it open. I caught Charlie mid-knock, and he looked a little taken aback by my sudden appearance.

"Morning, Dad!" I yelled out as I ran over to the bathroom to start my shower. I was the kind that couldn't take showers that lasted less than twenty minutes, which could be a problem for the time restriction I was currently under.

I didn't take my time like I normally did, instead throwing in my shampoo, quickly scrubbing down, and applying some conditioner. I was no nonsense this morning.

I hopped out of the shower, almost slipping on the tile floor, but quickly composed myself and grabbed a towel.

I made it back to my room, hearing Charlie moving around downstairs. I was happy to find that my shower had only lasted fifteen minutes. A new record.

I slipped on my favorite pair of jeans and a simple blue t-shirt.

Now came the tricky part. What to do with my hair.

_Isabella, don't you dare go for a silly ponytail. You have time. Blow dry it, let it loose._

My mother's voice came to me out of nowhere, and I grinned. That's _exactly _what she would be telling me if she were here right now. I decided to go for it, since my shower had been faster than I anticipated.

I finished blow drying my hair rather quickly. I was impressed with my speed this morning.

Examining myself in the mirror, I said a silent thanks to my mother. I could look half way decent if I set my mind to it; it was good to know.

I stopped in my room once more to grab my backpack and started to head downstairs. I had to backtrack, however, to retrieve my raincoat. It was pouring outside, in true Forks fashion.

"Hey, kid," Charlie nodded to me over his coffee cup as I finally made it down into the kitchen.

"Hi, Dad," I greeted back, pulling out my Rice Krispies from the cabinet. I poured myself a bowl, drowned it in milk, then grabbed a spoon and headed to the table where Charlie sat reading the newspaper.

We enjoyed breakfast in comfortable silence. It's how things were with Charlie and I. My mother had been the more eccentric one of the two, talking constantly and always in motion. She was fun, and I it was one of the things I loved most about her, but it could get tiring. With Charlie, everything was more relaxed. There was no need to fill the silence with conversation. We were similar in that respect.

He folded up his paper, and went to set his coffee cup in the sink, before turning back to me.

"You know how to get to the school?" I nodded, my mouth full of cereal. He bobbed his head in acknowledgement, before heading over to the coat rack to get his gun belt and jacket.

"I gotta head to work, but I'll be home for dinner. You want me to pick up a pizza or something?" I enjoyed pizza, but that's what we had for dinner the past two nights. I decided Charlie's kitchen needed to get some exercise; plus, he was sorely lacking in groceries.

"How about I cook tonight?" He looked a little surprised, but quickly recovered.

"You sure about that?"

"Of course. I used to cook for mom all the time," his eyes got a little sad when I mentioned my mother. I sometimes forgot it was probably just as hard on him as if was on me. He never really did get over Renee.

"If you want," he allowed, zipping up his jacket.

"Okay. I think I'll head over to the grocery store after school, just to pick up a few things." He smiled sheepishly, knowing the state his cabinets were in.

"Alright, Bella. Have a good first day," he waved and was out the door. I stood from the table, going over to the sink to clean my bowl and Charlie's mug.

Minutes later I was sloshing through the rain, my hood tight around me to protect my lovely hair. I climbed into my Chevy quickly, and heaved a sigh of relief when I was safely in the confines of the dry cabin.

I ran my hand over the seat lovingly. This car was my baby. My mom had gotten it for me when I finally got my license. It was old, and didn't move fast, and was absolutely perfect.

She had been so happy when she revealed it to me, and we had jumped and squealed at the prospect of my very first car. It was one of the rare moments I did any squealing

I started the car up, relaxing at the familiar roar of the engine.

My poor truck trudged along as fast as it could, the wipers working at full speed as the rain continued to fall from the sky.

And then, minutes later, I was in the parking lot of Forks High.

_Take a deep breath. You can do this. They're just teenagers. They don't bite._

My internal pep talk wasn't helping much, but I realized that if I wanted to get to the office and to my first period class, I would have to get moving.

I made sure my hood was securely in place before opening up my door and stepping into the downpour. Kids were all around, moving casually through the buckets of rain as if it weren't even there. I suppose, to them, it was as natural as the sun being out in Phoenix would be. It was just something I was yet to become comfortable with.

I dashed to the overhang of one of the buildings, trying to find a sign or a teacher or _something _that would point me in the direction of the office. No such luck. Apparently, Forks High wasn't New Kid Friendly.

"Excuse me, do you need help?" I looked around, trying to identify who was addressing me. My eyes landed on a girl, shorter than me with dark spiky hair, standing a few feet away. A tall, lean blonde haired boy stood at her side, leaning against the side of the building. The girl had a friendly smile, and I did need help, so I figured what the heck. They didn't look too bad.

"Yes, actually. I'm looking for the office," she walked up to me, and the blonde boy moved with her. It was like they were some sort of package deal. They must have been dating; even I could see the chemistry, and I barely even knew them.

"You must be the Chief's daughter, Isabella."

"Bella," I corrected her.

"Sorry. Bella. Well, I'm Alice and this is my boyfriend Jasper," she motioned to him and he nodded his greeting. She was still grinning like a maniac and I got the feeling it was how she was most of the time. Instead of finding it creepy, though, I found it infectious as I couldn't help my own small smile to find its way to my lips.

"It's very nice to meet you."

"If you'd like, we could walk you there," she offered, bouncing up and down.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you two to be late," I asked warily. Her bouncing was quite entertaining and I found myself giggling. Jasper must have understood, as he smiled at me knowingly.

"Our first class is over there. Really, it's no trouble at all," Jasper said, grabbing Alice's hand and moving forward. They walked past me and Alice swiftly linked her arm with mine, so we were all walking in a line.

"So, how are you liking it here in Forks so far?" She asked me, her eyes dancing.

"It's alright. A little rainy, but that's to be expected I guess." Jasper and Alice both laughed as we continued down the little pathway.

"Yes, you'll just have to get used to that. It's such a bother, having to work my wardrobe and hair styles around the stupid weather." She rolled her eyes, and I giggled again. Never had I giggled so much before eight in the morning.

We came to a sudden stop in front of a building that looked just the same as all the others.

"Alright, here we are," Alice announced, unlinking her arm from mine. "Good luck with your first classes, Bella. Maybe we'll see you at lunch." They both waved as they headed over to a building adjacent to the one I was to head into. I watched them go, satisfied that not everybody here was going to judge me based on what they already knew. Alice hadn't mentioned my mother or the accident or my stay in the hospital, which I'm sure she knew about, even once.

I pushed open the door, and headed towards the front desk. A lady with short red hair, and flashy glasses sat behind it, tapping away at a keyboard.

"Hello," I said quietly, alerting her of my presence. She jumped a bit, apparently deeply engrossed in whatever she was doing on the computer, before looking up at me.

I could see the exact moment when she realized who I was. And I prepared myself for the onslaught.

"May I help you, dear?"

"Yes, hi. I'm Bella Swan. I'm new, and I was told to come to the office my first day for my schedule." She smiled at me, all big and goofy and not at all genuine. She was happy all right but not to see me; she was happy she would be the first to have the gossip, the first to see the Chief's daughter return after her tragic accident.

"Oh, of course, dear. I'll print that right up for you." She hit a few buttons and I drummed my fingers lightly on the counter, waiting for the darn thing to print so that I could get out of here.

"Sweetie, I heard about what happened to you and I'm so sorry." I scowled at the counter top. Pity. Stupid pity. I didn't want it nor did I need it.

"It's alright," I looked down to see her name plate. "Mrs. Cope." She smiled sadly at me, before retrieving my schedule from the printer.

It was hot as she handed it over to me, and I quickly scanned it to find my first period class. AP Calculus. Crap.

"Everything look alright, dear?" I nodded.

"Where's building C?" I questioned, not knowing where in the hell my first period class was located. All the buildings looked exactly the same to me.

"It's right outside this door, actually." She pointed out the window at the building Alice and Jasper had disappeared into and I smiled. Maybe they would be in the class with me.

"Alright, thank you." She waved, smiling that stupid smile once again.

"You have a good day, sweetie."

I ran over to the building, knowing that I was already late.

I hurried down the hallway, looking for room 107. I found it quickly, and opened the door softly, not looking to make a grand entrance. Luckily, as I entered the room, I found that the teacher hadn't yet begun.

Fortunately for me, the teacher seemed to be about as much awake as the kids, so I wasn't forced into an awkward introduction in front of the entire class. Much to my delight, Jasper was in fact in this class, sitting next to some kid with his hood up and head down. It was nice to have a somewhat familiar face to concentrate on as I made my way up the aisle that was lined by people staring curiously at me.

I felt like I was the newborn baby panda, finally out on display to the public at the zoo.

Jasper smiled easily at me, which was much appreciated as I could hear the whispers starting.

"Did you hear about her mom?"

"So sad…"

"That's the chief's lovechild?"

"Damn, she's hot…"

"Did you hear she was in the hospital?"

"It's like she's back from the dead."

_Ignore them, sweetie. And don't you dare look down at your feet._

Renee to the rescue.

Heeding her advice, I raised my head up in defiance, not letting their speculations and petty whispers get to me.

There was only one seat left in the class, in the back next to a girl with brown hair. She was engrossed in the book settled in her lap, not on me making my way to my seat, which instantly made me feel more comfortable.

She looked up when I dropped my backpack to the ground with a thud. She jumped a bit; I had clearly broken her out of whatever reverie her book at put her in.

Composing herself, she looked up at me and smiled gently. It was genuine, I could tell.

"Hello. Are you my new partner?" Her voice was as sweet as her face and I wondered how my day had ended up going so well already. Knock on wood.

"Yeah. My name's Bella Swan." I stuck out my hand and she shook it.

"Angela Webber. It's so nice to meet you." Alright, so far I had been proven wrong about my speculation of the adolescent population of Forks. Most of these people were actually pretty nice.

She dog-eared the page she had stopped on, before laying the book on top of the desk. I couldn't contain the mini-squeal that erupted from me as I read over the title.

"Pride and Prejudice!" Angela looked back at me, surprise etched on her face.

"You're a fan?"

"Are you kidding me? It's basically my favorite book of all time. I've read my copy so many times that it's actually starting to fall apart." She laughed.

"That's impressive. I don't know many people who have the patience for these types of books." I scoffed. There was always time for Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth as far as I was concerned.

"I absolutely love the classics. They have a certain tone that you just can't find in many modern books." She eagerly agreed. I could have easily talked about my favorite selections the entire period, but unfortunately, the teacher decided that it was a good time to learn some math.

Ugh, calculus. I don't think I would exactly enjoy having to start my day like this everyday.

The bell sounded, and I started gathering my things up, chatting with Angela.

"Let's just hope I can pass this class," I groaned, reviewing some of the sheets my teacher had thrust at me towards the end of the period.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure you'll do fine. But, if you'd like, I can help you out if you ever need it." I smiled up at her.

"That would be great." We walked out of the door of the empty classroom; my excess of calculus laden papers had made me take a bit longer than the rest to pack up.

She stopped with me as I got out my schedule from my pocket, unfolding it, and scanning it to see what was in store for second period.

"Okay, can you point me towards Building A?" She peered over, trying to get a peek at my schedule.

"That's where I'm heading. What do you have next?"

"English." She smiled, her eyes smiling as well.

"We're in the same class!" I smiled back at her, grateful that I could head into another class already knowing at least one person. This was working out pretty well. Almost too well.

As I refolded my schedule to tuck it away safely in my pocket once more, my eyes met Alice's across the hallway. She was standing with Jasper, and the guy who he had been sitting next to in calculus. His back was towards me and his hood still up. I waved, and Alice waved back enthusiastically, bouncing in place. Jasper looked towards where she was waving and grinned as we made eye contact. Mystery Boy looked like he was about to turn around to see what had captivated his friends attention, but Angela whisked me away, not wanting to be late.

I had to pull my hood up tightly again; did the rain ever let up?

"Is the weather always like this?" Angela looked a little confused for a second, as if not knowing what I was referring to, before understanding dawned on her. She giggled, as I scrunched up my face from the raindrops splattering across my face.

"Yes, I suppose it is. Don't worry; eventually you get used to it."

English was alright, but the teacher in that class did make me do an embarrassing "Hi my name is Bella and I moved here from Phoenix blah blah blah" introduction. On the plus side, I got to sit with Angela once more. I could tell I would like this class a lot; it was mostly based on creative writing, something I thoroughly enjoyed.

Spanish was an entire different story. Sadly, Angela had to head off to history that period, so I forced to enter alone.

I met the Mike Newton that Edward had warned me about, and immediately got the golden retriever comparison. His blonde hair was full of gel and he had big, blue eyes that reminded me a little of an infants.

And he was a persistent little thing. All he wanted was to help me, or get me the worksheet, or explain the verb conjugation to me, or lend me a pencil. And, maybe I missed the memo, but wasn't it still considered rude to openly stare at somebody for an entire _hour._

He was sweet, I guess. But horribly attentive. Some girls would have found it flattering; I was just a little annoyed.

Picturing Mike playing catch with a stick, his tail wagging happily, caused a giggle to burst from my lips. Bad idea, Bella.

"Your laugh is beautiful," he leaned towards me, making as if he was going to stroke my hair or something. Personal bubble was officially popped.

The blush flared on my cheeks, as I tried to subtly maneuver away from his approaching hand. I opted for faking a cough, which landed directly on his hand. It proved to be awkward yet effective, as he quickly retreated, a slight frown on his face as he whipped his hand on his pants.

"Sorry," I mumbled, turning my attention back to the worksheet I was trying to complete.

"It's alright. It's hard to be mad at a girl as pretty as you." Jeez. Nice line, Mike. I hummed, not quite sure how to appropriately respond to his comment. He slid his chair closer to mine, an accomplishment since he had been inching steadily towards me since the beginning of class.

"So, you have a boyfriend back in Phoenix?" Wow. I guess there would be no tiptoeing around the subject.

"Nope. No boyfriend," I murmured, not glancing up from my work, hoping he would get the picture.

No cigar. I could practically hear the glee in his voice, as if he had already won the battle.

"Perfect." Meh.

The bell saved me, and I packed up at lightening speed, trying to take evasive action against Mike. Lunch was next, and I planned to simply head to the library and peruse the selections. Angela had informed me after English that she had to meet up with a teacher during lunch and there was no way I could stand another hour with Mike, my horny little puppy dog. If I got out of here quickly, he wouldn't find time to ask me to sit with him.

"Bella, where are you planning on sitting during lunch?" I shut my eyes, letting a tiny groan out. Not quick enough.

I turned to him slowly, plastering a pleasant smile on my face.

"I was actually planning on going to the library, Mike. I have some stuff I need to get done."

"Oh, come on. It's your first day. I doubt any teachers will be pushing you for your work so hard. You can sit with me!" He said the last part as if he were offering me candy, dragging out the last word. I took a deep breath, deciding I couldn't rip his head off no matter how much I wanted to.

"Mike, really, I would feel better just getting my work done now." He shook his head.

"No, come on. Eat lunch with me." Oh, okay. I see. My wants and needs were not an issue to him. That's cool.

"Fine, Mike," I conceded, realizing that his persistent nature meant that no matter how hard I fought, I would not win this battle. He smiled, before leading the way to the cafeteria.

He took his place on line and introduced me to the girl in front of him as Jessica. She was a little shorter than me, with light brown hair and matching eyes. She looked exactly Mike's type; and I could see her glaring daggers at me when she thought I wasn't looking. She must think that I had a thing for Mike. _Yeah, right, Jessica. He's all yours; go for it._

We got off the line, and Mike and Jessica headed for a crowded table in the middle of the cafeteria. I followed behind them reluctantly, grasping only a lemonade in my hands.

I was anticipating a lunch full of penetrating gazes and invasive questions when my world instantly brightened. Alice swooped in, seemingly out of nowhere, to rescue me.

"Bella!" She bounced up to me, placing a kiss on my cheek, before stepping back and smiling. I smiled back easily, glad to be around a real person again. She looked towards Mike, who had paused at the table as he noticed I was trailing behind him anymore. She looked back to me, shaking her head.

"You're not sitting with Newton. Come on, come sit with me and my friends!" She grabbed my hand, and I was off, waving an apology to Mike who stood with a defeated look on his face.

"Thanks for saving me, Alice." I knew I should feel bad for ditching Mike like that, but I couldn't find the guilt in me anywhere. Alice giggled, still tugging me by my hand.

"No problem. I saw you when you guys came in; you looked like you were ready to kill him." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Mike was being a little…"

"Annoying?" I laughed and so did she. I readily agreed with her adjective.

We approached a table that was much less full than the one Mike was ready to squeeze me into.

Jasper was there along with two guys and another girl. One of the guys was huge. He had bulging muscles and I could hear his voice, which matched his massive size. He had his arm around a gorgeous blonde girl, who actually looked surprisingly a lot like Jasper. On the end of the table was the other boy, the same boy from calculus. He was in the same position I saw him then; hood up, head down.

Alice slid in beside Jasper, and took the place beside her. I was facing the blonde and the big guy, on the opposite end of Mystery Boy.

"Look what I found guys!" Alice announced. The two across from me looked surprised by the addition to the table, but Mystery Boy stayed put. Perhaps he was asleep or something.

"Bella, this is Emmett and Rosalie. Guys, meet Bella. She's new and I'm saving her from Newton." They laughed in understanding, but I couldn't concentrate on that. These names sounded oddly familiar, and suddenly I remembered where I had heard their names all too well.

_Small town names. Edward's friends. Oh, god._

My eyes must have been wide, as Alice nudged me, asking me if I was okay. My stomach flopped as Emmett shoved Mystery Boy, who didn't seem like such a mystery anymore, until he raised his head. I was right; he had been asleep.

"Edward, wakey wakey! Say hi to Bella!" Edward's head immediately shot up, meeting my gaze instantly. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, and I felt incredibly awkward.

I had been so sure that he hadn't wanted to continue our companionship after his service at the hospital was served. He made that abundantly clear the last day he had come.

Would he think I was stalking him? Following him around like some love sick puppy?

Like I said. Awkward.

He held my gaze for a few seconds, before dropping it, and hastily shoving the hood off of his head.

Ung. Bronze locks within Bella's reach. Must. Resist.

"Edward?" Alice looked towards him expectantly, and he shook his head quickly, probably collecting his thoughts.

"Right. Sorry. Nice to meet you, Bella." He smiled at me quickly, before pulling a bag of chips out of his bag and beginning to chomp on those. My heart sank a little.

He clearly wasn't going to say anything else, and the conversation picked up again at the table, so I threw myself into a discussion about Oreos. Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice all argued in favor of Double Stuffed. And while I could understand their viewpoint, I stuck with Emmett on the classic Oreos. They had just the right cookie to cream ratio, while Double Stuffed was just a little too much cream for my taste.

I got the feeling that Edward hadn't told his friends about me, since I suspected Alice would be full of questions and Emmett would be full of innuendos if they were aware that we had spent an abundance of time together the previous week. They acted as if I was simply Bella, with no previous connection to them.

Edward didn't give me a second glance, and stayed quiet throughout the entire lunch period. Alice invited me on a shopping trip with her and Rosalie on Saturday, but I was hesitant to accept.

Not that I didn't want to go; I was more than willing, despite the fact that shopping wasn't exactly on my Top Ten Most Favorite Things To Do.

But, I felt like I was intruding in Edward's life in a way. He obviously had a reason for withholding any information about these people; a reason I couldn't exactly figure out on my own.

So, I politely declined Alice's offer, claiming the Chief was looking to spend some quality time together after my long stay in the hospital.

"Alright," she pouted, before brightening considerably. "Next weekend, then!" She smiled widely, satisfied that we would have our shopping trip. Avoiding having to reply, I simply returned her smile.

Every once in a while, I would chance a glance at Edward. He didn't contribute to the conversation, which I found a little strange. He was so opinionated; I was surprised he wouldn't jump at the chance to voice his feelings. The focus of his attention was on his hands, so something was obviously making him uncomfortable. His eyebrows were pulled together, and he seemed to be in deep concentration. I could see the others taking peeks at him every now and then, which was more evidence that he wasn't being himself.

The bell rang, and Edward hopped up from the table, dashing out of the room.

"What's with him?" Rosalie stared after Edward's retreating form in confusion. I looked towards Alice, as did everybody else, but she looked just as confused as the rest.

"I'm not sure. He was acting strange the entire time." We sat in silence for a few seconds before Alice turned once more to me.

"Bella, where's your next class?" I unfolded my schedule for the umpteenth time that day. Creases were being worn into the paper, and I had a sneaking suspicion that by the end of the day, the paper would collapse into eight perfect little squares.

"Let's see….Building B." Alice's face slipped into a pout.

"Damn. I'm in Building E. Guess that means I can't walk you there." Jasper patted her shoulder, trying to cheer his girlfriend up.

"I'm headed that way. I'll walk with you, Bella." Rosalie had just returned from throwing out her trash, and was getting ready to head off to class. Everyone looked a little surprised, as if Rosalie offering to walk me to class was out of character for her. I was pulling out odd behavior from these people left and right.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I stood up, saying goodbye to the others, before heading off with Rosalie. We walked in silence for a few seconds, as everybody we passed stared at us. They probably weren't used to someone so plain standing next to somebody as heartbreakingly gorgeous as the blonde that was strutting beside me.

"What's your next class, Bella?" There was no need to pull out my abused schedule again, as I could still remember from when I looked it over not too long ago.

"Bio, with Mr. Banner."

Rosalie snorted, and shook her head, causing her blonde hair to swish around her face. Questioning the hilarity of me having science, I looked over at her expecting an explanation of sorts.

"That's Edward's next class, too."

My stomach dropped as I heard this. Although this I had no control over, unlike lunch, I wasn't too sure if he would be thrilled that we'd have a class together everyday.

Rosalie noticed my sour expression.

"Why do you look like somebody just ran over your dog?"

"I just," I started saying softly. "I don't think Edward likes me all that much."

Rosalie hummed, staring off ahead of us again.

"Yeah, he was acting a bit strange during lunch. I can tell you, he's never had that type of reaction around a girl. You had him ten different levels of flustered." She looked over and smirked.

"He wasn't flustered. He barely even looked at me." I argued my point, but Rosalie merely shrugged.

"Maybe you're right. Who knows?" She suddenly stopped outside a door and I looked around, wondering why she decided to halt here of all places.

"This is your class, Bella," she said it as though she were talking to a kindergartener and I felt my cheeks flare up. She giggled, though, so I knew she found it entertaining rather than just plain annoying. Good sign.

"Right, sorry. Thanks for walking me, Rosalie." She nodded, before heading off. I was just about to step into the classroom, when I heard her call out my name. Turning around swiftly, I saw her paused outside a different classroom.

"I'll see you in lunch tomorrow." She disappeared into her classroom and, at the sound of the bell, I slipped into mine.

It was much like my first period class. The teacher was sitting at his desk, looking to be reading over some labs or something. I approached him, and he gave me no trouble about introducing myself and all that nonsense. I could still hear the whispers of my classmates as I stood up in the front, waiting for Mr. Banner to gather my materials and assign me a seat. I didn't dare to scan the faces of the people in this class, knowing that Edward was one of them.

Mr. Banner handed me a textbook, a workbook, and some labs I would have to make up, before telling me to take the only seat left in the back.

I turned around, trying to find the seat, and my eyes widened when I spotted it.

He was sitting in the back, hood down, with his head hanging in his hands over the desk. The empty seat sat next to him, taunting me, just waiting for me to trek back there and sit next to him.

He finally looked up, probably feeling my penetrating gaze. Looking like a deer caught in the headlights again, he rubbed his eyes, before hastily moving his gaze back to the desk.

Resigned, I shuffled to the back and sat down in my seat next to Edward. I put my stuff down on my side of the lab table, and swung my hair over to one side, desperately trying to hide myself.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

Mr. Banner finally stood up and lectured us for a bit on cell division. I was happy to realize that I had already learned this stuff in the last science class I had taken in Phoenix, which meant an easy A. Just the way I liked it.

It was when Mr. Banner announced that we should get started on our lab for the day that the nerves worked their way back into my system.

Edward was my lab partner. Edward and I had to work together. That meant that I would have to look at him. Work with him. Hear him talk intellectually to me and maybe, just maybe, casually brush up against those muscular arms that practically bulged out of the green t-shirt he wore last Wednesday…

I heard somebody clear their throat to my right and realized that Edward was waiting for me so we could get started on the lab.

I blushed, which was even more embarrassing around him since he was all too aware of my blushing impulse, and turned in my chair to look at him.

He had taken his hood down again, and was currently raking his hand through his hair.

Never in my entire life had I been so jealous of somebody's hand.

"So, you wanna start or should I?" He broke me out of my haze, motioning to the microscope in front of us. I looked dumbly at it, not comprehending what he was asking me to do.

"We're doing the lab, Bella," he stated in an obvious tone, and I instantly felt like an idiot. I had been too busy ogling the twists and turns of his hair, and had completely forgotten about the task at hand.

"Oh, right," I said, slapping my forehead and shaking my head. I looked over towards him, and could see him fighting a grin.

"You weren't this out of it last week," he mentioned. I laughed quietly.

"Yeah, well, school is different than a hospital, isn't it?" I retorted, hoping to maybe get an explanation for his odd behavior. He simply furrowed his brow, turning his attention back to the lab, looking like he regretted saying anything at all.

I was a bit disappointed, but got to work on the lab. We finished rather quickly, and I found myself sitting in an awkward silence with him in the back of the room.

I chanced a peek over at him, hoping he wouldn't catch me.

He had his arm folded under his chin on the desk. He had his notebook opened to a random page, and I could see he was doodling a picture of Mr. Banner. He grossly exaggerated all his features, making him look almost frightening. It was pretty good, for a doodle.

I looked at his face then. His hood was still off and his hair was going everywhere. He would reach up every now and then to run his fingers through it, mussing it even more. I wished more than anything that it was my fingers messing up his hair like that.

He looked at peace in the moment, but I could tell he was still pretty exhausted. The bags were still present under his eyes, which were pretty bloodshot, and he just looked spent.

I examined his eyes more closely. His unruly hair hung in them, and he reached up to brush it away every few minutes.

What struck me most about his eyes was the deep shade of green they were. Not like usually green eyes, which were usually mixed with some brown or grey. His were untainted, pure and deep. They were a shocking emerald color, one that I had never seen in anybody else unless they had those eye color changing contacts.

"Do you have contacts?" I blurted out without even thinking. He jumped a little bit, clearly in his own little world with the Banner doodle. He looked towards me, confused by my question.

"What?" His velvety voice reached my ears, and I contemplated just how lucky this guy was. He got all the right genes, clearly.

"It's just, I've never seen anybody with eyes that color green. Unless, they have those contacts that can change the color of your eyes, you know?" He listened to my rant, his brows furrowed slightly the entire time, and I felt more and more self conscious.

"Nope. All natural." He answered me, laying his head back down on the desk and starting a new doodle. I bit my lip, nodding my head slightly, before searching in my backpack for my book.

I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights, and just started in where I left off, when I heard Mike Newton's slightly squeaky voice.

"Hey, Bella," he sidled up to me, leaning against the lab table. I took a deep breath, before looking up at him from my book.

"Hello, Mike," I tried not to let my irritation with him seep into my tone, but having him around me was testing my patience.

"So, what was the deal with lunch today? I mean, you kinda just blew us off there?" He was trying to remain friendly, but I knew he was a little ticked off. Oh well, Mike. I'm not your play toy.

"Sorry, Mike. It's just that Alice insisted I sit with her, and she helped me find the office this morning so I figured I owed her."

"Yeah, but you said you would sit with me," he was still smiling slightly, but I didn't like what he was saying. I didn't really owe him an explanation and didn't really want to give him one.

"Sorry, Mike." I didn't want to promise him another day, because I'd rather sit by myself than Mike Newton.

"Well, how about you make it up to me tomorrow?" I tried composing myself before answering.

"Can't. I promised Alice and Rosalie I'd sit with them tomorrow." He got visibly annoyed then, his eyes narrowing a bit.

"You know, don't you owe me? I helped you out in Spanish, didn't I?" I was surprised at his tone. Did he really think yelling at me about it would make me more willing to spend time with him? What a way to woo a woman, Mike.

"No, Mike, I don't think I owe you. I'd rather sit with who I want to, thank you very much."

He looked even more pissed off, and was about to respond, when something stopped him.

"Newton, I suggest you back off." Mike and I both turned out attention to Edward, who was staring at Mike, looking a bit bored.

"Cullen, this conversation doesn't concern you." I knew Mike was intimidated by Edward, I could see it in the way he shrunk back slightly when addressing him, but he was obviously trying to make himself look like more of a man.

"Newton, it doesn't matter whether or not it concerns me. Bella has made it adamantly clear that she'd rather not sit with you during lunch, and you need to back the fuck off before your balls get acquainted with my foot." Mike faltered slightly, before shooting me one last glance, and walking away. Tail between his legs, so to speak.

I giggled at his retreat, and went to thank Edward for chasing Mike away.

However, when I turned back, Edward's hood was back on and he was already back in his own little world, ignoring me completely.

"Thanks for that," I murmured, hoping he would acknowledge it. He nodded slightly, before turning away from me and seemingly going back to sleep.

And then it was back to how it was before. We sat in an awkward silence, and he acted like I wasn't even there. Granted, he seemed to be asleep, but it was just uncomfortable to sit there with him.

Mr. Banner started up class again, satisfied with the class' work, and Edward came back to the present. He continued to ignore my presence; he wouldn't even glance my way. I was almost a little bit hurt by his dismissal.

The bell rang, and I was a little fed up with his mood swings as far as I was concerned. I stood up in a huff, and stomped out of the room, more than a little miffed.

I remembered that I had gym next, and had a vague remembrance of where the gymnasium was located. I slowed down for a few seconds, trying to see if I could find anybody to ask just to make sure, when I felt a hand on my arm.

I spun around, hoping I wouldn't have to fend off Mike once more, and was shocked to find that it was Edward.

I was too surprised to see him there, and basically forgot my frustration with him for blowing me off. I stood there in silence, waiting to see what he stopped me for.

"Bella, listen-" I interrupted him.

"Oh, so you do remember my name." I said it with a little bit of a teasing edge. I couldn't find it in me to yell at him suddenly. He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah. About that. Look, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect when you came here. And honestly, I never expected Alice to invite you over and then for us to sit next to each other and all that stuff. And I know that you weren't exactly expecting to be hanging around me either."

I stood still, patiently waiting for him to get to the point.

"I don't want…" He sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't want you to think you can't hang out with Alice or Rosalie if they ask. If you want to go shopping with them, you can."

"But?" I asked, sensing there was more to what he was saying.

"But…I don't know. You can make friends with whoever you want; I can't and won't stop you. But I just don't think we can be friends, Bella. I know that sounds like a real dickwad thing, but I wouldn't be a good friend for you."

His words hung in the air between us; his cryptic warning tumbling around in my mind. He stared at me for a few short moments, making sure his words sank in, before turning around and leaving me.

I didn't have time to think, as I had to run off to gym.

I saw Alice at the end of the day, and we exchanged numbers, as I told her that there was a chance that maybe I could get away from the Chief for a little while.

Later that night, I was lying in bed, the rain pelting down on the roof and the sound of the wind whistling through the spaces in the house.

I mulled over all that had happened at my first day at Forks High. I had definitely learned who I wanted to spend time with, and who I wanted to steer clear of. I learned which teachers I could deal with, and which classes I would most likely be sleeping through.

But most of all, I thought about Edward. And what he said to me before walking away.

He said we couldn't be friends; that he couldn't be a good friend to me. This seemed odd to me, as we got along just fine the previous week.

But what struck me most was that I knew he was holding back. It was almost like he wouldn't let himself do what he wanted. Like he was scared of something.

I knew he could be a good friend; he proved that last week.

I wanted to get to know him. That infatuation was still there, but I would just be okay with sitting and talking with him. He interested me and I felt drawn to him in a way that I never had with anybody else in my life. How could he say he couldn't be a good friend if he didn't even try?

I went to sleep that night resolved.

I would prove to Edward that he could be a good friend. And I would be a friend back to him.

He deserved it. I knew he did.

**

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And there we are. Don't be too hard on Edward. He's not trying to be a jerk on purpose.**

**Reviews, pleeeeeease! I love reviews, so anything you have to say is appreciated!  
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	10. Everything Is Alright

**Blah. Okay, I just want you guys to know that I feel totally horrible for making you wait this long. Especially with all the support I got for the last chapter. I'm so sorry and I really do appreciate all the reviews and support.**

**However, I do have a reason for this taking so long. A few weeks ago, I got sick. I went to the doctor. They said I had mono. That sucks enough in itself. I was tired and achy, and still am, and just felt like I wanted to curl up and die. And then, as if things could not get any worse, a good friend of mine comes to visit to tell me that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. For _months. _And plenty of my friends knew, they just didn't want to tell me. So I call the guy up and he doesn't even bother denying it. Just like that. I know it's just stupid high school drama that seems kind of stupid when it's not happening to you. But it happened and it was probably the worst feeling in the world. So I was pretty pissed off at my friends and the guy. And I still had mono, which apparently had been passed to me from the girl my boyfriend was cheating on me with. I swear, I kind of felt like I was in an episode of Degrassi or something.**

**So, I tried writing when I could heave myself out of bed. But everybody kind of ended up being total assholes, which just wasn't okay. This chapter was also just generally hard to write because it's not exactly pivotal or anything. An in between chapter.**

**So, again, I'm really sorry. Life gets in the way sometimes. But I cranked this one out and am hoping to get my butt back in gear so I don't have to make you wait that long ever again. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.  
**

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**Bella POV**

_Ugh. Just keep walking. Maybe he won't see you._

I grasped tighter to my tray, consisting of a slice of pizza and a bottle of water, and tried to stealthily avoid Mike Newton. He was standing at the side of his table, looking like he was landing a jet as he tried to coax me over to his side of the lunch room. Just like he had for the past two weeks. I kept my eyes on my shoes as I ducked in between people, trying to hide myself from his view. This was especially dangerous, as a person with my type of balance should always have one eye on their feet and one eye on the path in front of them.

I learned this the hard way on Thursday of last week, when while trying to dodge the ever-persistent Mike, I ran right into a big burly senior who was trying to fit three oranges in his mouth. Thankfully, my tray and food simply clattered to the floor, missing both of us. That didn't stop the blush though. The damn blush can never be stopped.

And so, I created a system of watching my feet while periodically glancing up in front of me. Emmett had figured out earlier this week what I was trying to do, and enjoyed the show everyday at lunch time.

As I reached the lunch table, I could tell today was no different. Emmett was snickering like a maniac, proving that it didn't take much to entertain him. With this guy, everything was a barrel of laughs. I would find it endearing if he wasn't laughing at me half the time.

"Would you look at the guy? He looks like somebody just told him his puppy ran away," Emmett chuckled, glancing over at Mike before redirecting his gaze to me as I slid in beside Alice.

"Nice to see you too, Emmett," I grumbled, taking a bite of my pizza.

"Come on, Bella. Throw the guy a bone and just go out with him already. He clearly wants you bad," Emmett joked, and I fake gagged.

"No thanks, Emmett. I much prefer to stay at home and bang my head against the wall all night."

Everybody chuckled, before getting back to enjoying their lunch. I took a quick glance at the people congregated around the table.

Alice sat beside me, much like she did everyday. I had only been here two weeks, but was glad to say I considered Alice to be my very best friend. I didn't have very many close girl friends in Phoenix, so this was a first for me. Alice was quirky, and hard to keep up with at times, but I found that I loved having that type of person around me. She reminded me of Renee at times.

Jasper sat next to her, the completely devoted boyfriend. Jasper was kind and calm, just what a person like Alice would need. He was my math buddy, so to speak, and a real good guy.

Emmett was across from me. From the very first day, I knew Emmett would be a favorite of mine. He was like a big loveable bear. He was always teasing us and always cracking some perverted joke. He was just fun to have around.

Rosalie sat beside him. She was another good girl friend. She tended to always walk me to biology after lunch. She was quieter than Alice, though not in a shy way. I suppose everybody seemed quieter compared to Alice, though. I enjoyed having her around.

My eyes shifted over to where I usually saw a hooded head resting on the table, but saw that it was empty.

I scanned the room, looking to see if he was at a different table or just walking in, but couldn't spot Edward.

"He went to the library. Said he had some homework to finish up," I heard Rosalie murmur from Emmett's side. I looked towards her, and saw a look of understanding on her face. She smiled quickly before looking away again, getting back into whatever conversation was going on between her and Emmett.

"Yeah, what was up with that? I've never known Edward to actually have to work at school. He's aced every single class he's ever been in," Emmett grumbled, shoveling more food into his already stuffed mouth. Rosalie patted his head lovingly, before leaning against his broad shoulder.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much, guys," Alice spoke up. "You know Edward." She waved it off dismissively and everybody else seemed to accept it. I, however, was confused.

"What do you mean? What's up with Edward?" I asked, looking towards Alice.

"Edward just gets into moods sometimes. Especially the beginning of the school year; he really hates it around this time," Alice's eyes looked sad for a split second before going back to their playful self.

"Will he be alright?" I asked, noticing the shift in demeanor of the group as we talked about Edward's mood.

"Oh, no, it's nothing bad Bella. It's just a beginning of the year mood, you know how it is." Alice waved it off again and, although I sensed something amiss, I let it drop. I was definitely a part of this group already, I could tell. But I wasn't about to go snooping around in other people's business. Especially Edward's.

If Alice told me there was nothing to worry about, I'd believe her.

"So, Bella, are you excited for shopping this weekend?" Jasper asked from beside Alice. I groaned, closing my eyes. Everybody chuckled, except for Alice. She unleashed the pout.

"Bella! It'll be fun! I can pick out such cute clothes for you!" Alice whined, unleashing her big blue eyes on me.

"I already said I was going, Alice. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna like it!" I crossed my arms, pouting right back, though mine wasn't nearly as effective as Alice's. We looked like a couple of five year olds, sitting here with our puppy dog faces on full blast trying to get what we wanted out of the other.

"I suppose that's all I can ask…for now," Alice looked mischievous, and I got a little anxious at her statement.

"Alice, there's no way I will ever like shopping. It's just not my thing," I told her, arms still crossed.

"Whatever you say, Bella," she replied in a sing-song voice, clearly not taking me seriously.

"Crazy…" I shook my head, relaxing my stance. "So, what time are you picking me up tomorrow morning?" I questioned her while resuming eating my pizza, which had been getting a little cold sitting on my tray.

"Hmm," she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I'll pick Rosalie up on the way, to give you a little more time. I was thinking we should start early-" She was interrupted by Rosalie.

"Uh, Alice. It's Bella's first time shopping with us. I think we should go a little easy on her, maybe start a little later." I looked between Rosalie and Alice, who was now pouting again. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Alice, what exactly do you mean by early?" I asked cautiously, a little afraid of the answer.

"Six or seven?" She offered. I had tuned out before she even uttered the first time.

"Alice, you are completely and utterly insane. No fucking way am I getting up at six on a Saturday morning to be dragged around the mall for hours. No. Fucking. Way."

"But, Bella!" Alice complained, trying to unleash the pout on me once again. No such luck.

"No, Alice. I'm sleeping in. Deal with it." She huffed, but gave in after a little coaxing from Rosalie.

"Fine, but your little butt better be ready for some serious shopping when we show up! And you have to let me buy you at least two or three outfits. At _least_," she demanded. I gave in grudgingly, happy to be getting that extra time to sleep.

"So, what are we doing to celebrate Bella's two week mark of survival in this institution?" Emmett asked, changing the subject to something that didn't bore him to death.

"Hanging out at your place, probably," Jasper chuckled. It seemed that I couldn't expect much else when hanging out with them. Emmett's place was the only place for them.

_Or us. You're their friend now too._

I smiled to myself. Friends. What a concept.

It was strange how easily I fit with these four. Like I was meant to be there, like we had known each other forever.

Edward, however, was a different story.

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**Edward POV**

The rain splattered against my head as I ducked out the double doors of the lunch room. Of course it was raining. It was always fucking raining. Every damn day.

I had told the guys that I had some work to attend to, giving me an out for lunch.

Alice and the others knew what I was like during this time of year. They knew when to ask and when to leave me alone. I may have been using that to my advantage right now, but I couldn't think about it too much.

Because everyday, when lunch rolled around, I knew I would be around Bella for two periods straight.

And damn, but that girl was interesting. She's the only one, besides Rosalie of course, who could put Emmett in his place. She served up the witty comebacks as much as he did.

And Alice and Rosalie were taking her shopping and Jasper was her little pal and she was there everyday in lunch and bio and calculus, chatting away and trying to make small talk.

And fuck, she was nice. And pretty. I couldn't deny that.

_Maybe in another life time, pal. When you wouldn't be a complete fuck up._

I sighed, then lifted the hood over my head; something that seemed to be present a lot these days.

I decided that I couldn't be bothered with the stuffy school at this point, so decided to take a walk in the rain.

It must have been a pathetic sight.

My figure was slouched and my feet dragged. I was sleeping very restlessly lately and found myself thinking of that dream more often than I would like to. The dream didn't come every night; some nights I wouldn't dream at all, but would simply wake up every half an hour. Other nights, I dreamt of times when I was really little, when my mom would pick me up from pre-school and take me and Alice out for lunch at Friendly's. Or when I broke my wrist in first grade, and she bought me a lion stuffed animal to make me feel better. Or even when I would wake up on Saturday mornings, the smell of freshly baked blueberry muffins wafting from the oven downstairs.

I reached my car in the parking lot and leaned against it, feeling suddenly very tired and not sure if I could hold myself up. I was glad it was Friday; this week seemed longer than the last.

I hadn't seen Carlisle in a few days, which was just fine with me. I think he had gone to some important doctor meeting in Cali, but I may have just made that up. I vaguely remember sharing a conversation with him one morning as I headed out for school, more asleep than awake. He may have mentioned it then, since I haven't seen him since.

It was quiet as I stood amidst the rain. It wasn't too hard, but I was getting pretty wet just standing there. Nobody was outside; we may be used to the rain, but nobody really wants to hang out in the cold and rain.

_Except you._

Yeah, except me. What can I say? I'm a rebel.

It occurred to me that I was standing right next to me car. I could climb into it and stay dry. But that would require movement. Such a dilemma.

To move or not to move. That is the question.

I could move from my comfortable slouch against my cold, hard car and into a much more comfortable position inside the car. Or I could just stay where I was.

I listed the pros and cons in my head for awhile and was about to make my move to go sit in the car, when I hard the nasally voice of Mike Newton and the gruffer voice of Tyler Crowley getting closer. Taking the opportunity to prolong the inevitable movement that would have to happen if I wanted to get in the car, I stayed put to listen to what they were talking about.

"Dude, she is so fucking hot," Tyler commented, raising his voice at the last word to add more emphasis.

"Seriously, I know. I wouldn't mind sinking my dick into her," Mike commented. I chuckled to myself; who in their right mind would let Newton fuck them?

"Mmm, I know what you mean. With that tight little ass and that curly, brown hair…and her rack isn't half bad either."

"Definitely. And those lips. Whenever she's talking, I just watch her fucking lips and think about how it would be to have them wrapped around my dick."

I had a sneaking suspicion about who they were talking about. I debated whether or not I should just climb in my car and forgot about Newton and Crowley's conversation. Curiosity got the best of me though, and I stuck around to see what they would say next.

"You know, I think I might have a shot with her," Mike mused. "I talk to her everyday in bio. If I could just get her away from Cullen, I bet she'd be all over me."

Definitely talking about Bella. And sorry, Newton, but I'm pretty sure she finds you to be the most annoying kid on the face of the planet. I could quote all of her rants to Alice and Rose about him. Then maybe he wouldn't be so fucking sure of himself.

"Why would Cullen be a problem? I've barely seen him look at Bella," Crowley remarked.

"Yeah, he doesn't talk to her much but she's always trying to talk to him. I don't know why. Cullen's a huge asshole. She'll figure that out eventually and come crawling back to me. Then I can show her how a girl like her should _really _be treated. I don't get Cullen. He could have her bouncing on his cock any time he wants, yet he never gives her the time of day." I ground my teeth together, hearing Newton talk about Bella like that. She didn't deserve it, she really was a good girl.

"You think she would actually be doing that? I mean, she seems a little shy to me."

"Nah, she seems like that at first. But I've also seen her get riled up and man is it hot! She's got this cute little blush that spreads all the way down to her tits when she gets frustrated or mad or something."

"Ah, so our little Bella has a bit of freak in her?" Crowley suggested, sounding intrigued.

"Just wait, man. We'll all have our turn with her eventually."

The two walked away and I stood at my car fuming.

How dare they talk about a girl like that?

Okay, so maybe I was being a little hypocritical, saying that. I wasn't exactly one to talk.

But how could they talk about somebody like Bella like that? I mean she was sweet in a kind of innocent way. How could they just stand there and talk about her sucking on their cock? Bella would never do that.

_How would you know? You barely ever talk to the girl. _

Hmph. Yeah. Okay. But just because I don't talk to her doesn't mean I don't listen. I mean, I sit with her every day at lunch. She's always talking to Alice at least about something. I'd heard her talk about her dad, Phoenix, her school work. I've heard her bitch about Newton plenty of times. She even talked about her mom when people asked her, but I tried to tune that out. I wasn't particularly into that.

She wasn't the type to just get down on her knees and suck a strange guy's dick. And I didn't like guy's thinking that she was.

The bell rang suddenly, signaling the end of the lunch period.

Time for bio.

I pushed myself off of the side of my car and headed through the rain towards my classroom.

I entered the building and shook myself of the rain that clung to every inch of my body. Maybe standing outside for long periods of time in Washington wasn't exactly the brightest idea. I was pretty soaked.

I got to my classroom and started heading towards my seat. I looked up and saw Newton by my desk, bugging Bella. She looked incredibly frustrated as he leaned forward on the desk, trying to…I don't even know what he was trying to do but it clearly wasn't working out for him. Although, he wasn't picking up on it. He probably thought he was being smooth as hell.

I slid into my seat beside Bella and heard what Mike was asking her about.

"I thought, maybe, we could go to dinner or maybe a movie. Saturday night?"

"Sorry, Mike," she replied, closing her eyes. "I have plans Saturday."

"Oh, come on. You can't have plans the entire day Saturday." Oh, what Newton? You gonna take her out at six in the morning?

"And yet I do," she said sarcastically. I grinned as Newton frowned.

"How about Sunday then?"

"Can't," she answered, looking down at the table, avoiding his gaze.

"Why?" Persistent fucker.

"Uh…umm…" She stuttered. She was lying, and couldn't think of a way out.

"Bella's coming to my house on Sunday so we can work on calculus together. Why don't you take your greasy ass elsewhere, Newton?" I found myself saying the words before they even registered in my mind. Bella just looked so trapped. I'd defend anybody against Newton.

He shot me a glare but quickly backed down, just like always. Apparently, he still wasn't over the kickball incident. He stalked off and Bella heaved a sigh of relief.

"It's his fault if I end up castrating him," Bella mumbled. I couldn't help chuckling at that and she turned to grin at me.

"Thanks for rescuing me from him yet again." I shrugged. Mike shouldn't be around her, especially after what he was saying about her.

"Yeah, I just used the first excuse I could think of," I replied, shrugging off my jacket which felt like it weighed fifty pounds.

I was wearing a white t-shirt underneath, which had been partially soaked through. Only in spots, which was kind of awkward because my shirt was only see through in some areas. I picked at it, as it was clinging to my chest and shoulders.

Mr. Banner clapped his hands together at the front of the room, ordering us all to get to work on the lab for the day. I turned to Bella so we could begin and found her staring blankly at me. Her mouth was hung open slightly and she seemed a little dazed.

I waved my hand in front of her face, trying to break her out of whatever trance she was in. She quickly shook her head and blushed, mumbling something that I couldn't quite catch.

Excusing herself to go gather some materials needed for the lab, Bella shot out of her seat like it had electrocuted her. I had never seen her act so jumpy.

Maybe I smelled or something. I did a quick armpit check, but didn't smell anything particularly rank. Maybe she wanted to get the good microscope before anyone else. Maybe she was just weird and had random bursts of energy from time to time.

_Maybe she realized she's sitting next to a Grade A Asshole._

I turned my head to watch the rain making it's way down the window. Why was it I was always so fascinated by that shit? It's just water on a freakin' pane of glass.

I buried my head in my arms on the desk, waiting for Bella to come back with our materials so I could get this stupid lab over with and sit in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the class.

However, I couldn't help it as I turned my head to once again stare out the window, tracing the patterns on the window with my eyes. True to my space cadet status, I was too engrossed in the scenery outside to hear Bella calling my name.

"Edward?" She nudged my arm lightly to break me out of my thoughts. I picked my head up, bringing myself back to the here and now. Bella picked up the lab we were supposed to be working on, waving it in my face. I nodded and began working. Resigned, I stayed silent as once again, Bella futilely tried to strike up a conversation.

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**Bella POV**

All day, I had been haunted by one image. It had stayed there, gnawing at the inner workings of my mind, not refusing to rest. It was like when you're trying to remember something; it's on the tip of your tongue and you can't think about anything else other than that. However, I could remember this image all too well.

Edward had been pretty wet when he finally swaggered on into class, looking like he had just stood in the rain for the entire lunch period. His sweatshirt was about five shades darker than normal.

I couldn't help but think that keeping on such a cold and wet article of clothing could possibly get him sick. Concerns for his health soon flew from my head, though, as he quickly removed the sopping wet piece of clothing.

In the weeks that I had known Edward, I couldn't ever remember seeing him without some sweatshirt or jacket on. It was the norm for most kids here to wear sweatshirts day in and day it; it was pretty chilly up here, especially this time of the year.

But as soon as he shrugged out of his sweatshirt, my life was changed forever.

He was sporting a white t-shirt, which had gotten partially wet from his sweatshirt and the rain itself. It clung to him, showcasing his muscled chest and arms, his broad shoulders, and his toned back.

I knew I was staring. I knew it was impolite. But, damn. Something as beautifully sculpted as Edward Cullen should be appreciated more often.

My mouth was hanging open slightly and an idle thought told me I should close it. Wouldn't that just be like me to drool all over him?

He pulled at his shirt, uncomfortable in wet clothing, and a quick fantasy played out in my head.

"_Hey, Edward. Why don't you just take your shirt off?" I suggest, gesturing towards him and his wet t-shirt. He shrugs and whisks it off in a quick move._

_His muscular chest is now on full display and I appreciate that part of his body before looking back up at his eyes. They look playful and he winks at me._

"_Your turn, Bella," he says, ripping my t-shirt in half and throwing it off to the side. We stare at each other for a hot second until we suddenly can't take it anymore._

_We leap at each other, hungrily devouring the other's mouth. He picks me up and lays me on the lab table, which has been suddenly transformed into a soft, plushy bed._

_His lips leave my body tingling with pleasure as he reaches down in between us and starts undoing the button on my pants…_

I came back to the present, realizing that Edward was now returning my stare and waving his hand in front of my face. I blushed deeply, mumbling about my stupidity as I felt my cheeks flare. Typical. Typical. Typical.

The class passed as it always did, which I was a little disappointed about. With Edward's gesture in the beginning of class, saving me from Mike, I thought perhaps he was coming out of his shell. No such luck. He was just as quiet as always, nodding his head absentmindedly from time to time.

I left the class a little disgruntled, but with a wonderful mental image of Edward in his wet shirt. And it stayed there, ever present in my mind throughout the entire day.

Ugh, why did he have to be so good looking? It did nothing to help my building crush on him.

I went home and had dinner with Charlie, before trying to do some homework. I never did like to save it all for Sunday.

Alice had said that we were all hanging out at Emmett's, a place that I had seen a lot of so far. Usually Edward came, though he had skipped out a few times, which apparently was not normal for him. I felt slightly responsible, but reasoned that Edward had told me I could be friends with them if that's what I wanted. I would hold him to that. When he came, he sat quietly on the sofa as Jasper and Emmett played video games, occasionally joining in or shouting at one of them. He always looked a little spaced out.

I headed out the front door, telling Charlie that I was off to Emmett's, before getting in my car and driving off.

Surprisingly, it wasn't raining out. There were still clouds overhead and I could feel the rain about to come on, the air thick with moisture. Enjoying the rare moment of dryness, I rolled down the window and let my hand dangle out the side, ignoring the fact that the air was pretty chilly.

I finally pulled up to Emmett's house and parked on the curb, hopping out and walking up the front walkway. I paused when I reached the front porch, seeing Edward sitting in the swing, smoking a cigarette. I frowned. I didn't know he smoked.

"Hey, Edward," I greeted, making my way up onto the porch. He took a drag from the cigarette before grinning, acknowledging my greeting but still staring forward. I leaned against a support beam on the porch, watching him and the cigarette as it dangled between his fingers.

"I didn't know you smoked," I commented casually. He shrugged, still not making eye contact.

"I don't really. Just sometimes," he answered quietly. I nodded, looking out at the street, trying to figure out if he was actually looking at something or just zoning out. Nothing out of the ordinary caught my eye. I turned to look back at him and saw he was gazing at me. He quickly looked away, putting the cigarette between his lips once more, blowing the smoke out.

"Well, you really shouldn't smoke. It'll blacken your lungs and make your teeth turn yellow," I stated, hoping he wouldn't be offended by my impromptu PSA.

However, he smiled slightly, and put the cigarette out in an ashtray that rested on the railing of the porch.

"Yeah," he sighed, before getting up and walking into the house. I watched as he went, looking back at the ashtray once more, before following him into the living room where Emmett and Jasper were pounding mercilessly on video game controllers as Alice and Rosalie watched on, giggling.

"Hey Bella!" Alice exclaimed, jumping up and dragging me down on the couch in between her and Rose.

"I sincerely hope you've prepared yourself mentally for our shopping trip tomorrow," Rosalie warned me, smiling. I groaned, sinking lower into the couch.

"Why must you subject me to such torture, Alice?" I whined, knowing I sounded like a three year old. I just really didn't like shopping; shopping early in the morning on a Saturday would be an entirely unwanted experience.

"Oh, come on Bella! It'll be fun! Besides it could be much worse. Right, Edward?" Alice joked, looking over to Edward who was staring intently at the screen where Emmett and Jasper were running around with guns, trying to find the other one first.

"Yeah, sure. JASPER WATCH OUT HE'S GOT THE FUCKING DOGS! SHOOT HIM RIGHT THERE!" He shouted, gesturing towards the screen as Jasper tried to dodge Emmett's gunshots and rabid dogs gnawing on his leg. Us three girls giggled as much shouting, swearing, and fighting ensued.

"Boys," Rosalie remarked, shaking her head.

We kept mostly to ourselves; the guys were very much into a new game that Emmett had got that afternoon.

We got bored and tired of hearing the yelling, so we wandered into the kitchen. Rosalie suggested we make cookies, for lack of a better idea, so we did. We decided on gingerbread cookies, getting out a person shaped cookie cutter to make gingerbread men. We cut the cookies and popped them into the oven, chatting for a while longer as they baked.

Finding a slew of cookie decorating materials and tools, we thought it would be funny to make the gingerbread men look like people from our school. They were finally ready and we retrieved them from the oven. We made one of each of us as well as one of Mike, Jessica, Lauren, and Tanya. We grossly exaggerated their features; Alice and I were in hysterics as Rosalie globbed on the icing for Tanya's fake boobs.

Eventually, the boys wandered in, sniffing the air. Men are like dogs in that respect; they can detect food from down the street.

"What'cha girls making?" Jasper questioned, kissing Alice's temple.

"Gingerbread cookies," I replied as they inspecting the cookies lying on the tray. We earned a few laughs as we pointed out who was who.

"Let me guess," Emmett said. "That one's Edward." He was pointing at one that had a big blob of icing on top of his head, representing Edward's mop of bronze hair that was always in some state of disarray. We chuckled and nodded, as Emmett picked up the cookie to show Edward.

Edward was sitting at the table, tracing patterns on the wood with his finger. He looked up and rolled his eyes at his cookie, before resuming his activity.

"And this one's Mike," Rosalie held up the one we had decorated to look like Mike Newton. I quickly snatched it out of her hands, biting off the head. Everybody stared at me as I happily munched on it.

"Don't judge me," I mumbled, crumbs falling out of my mouth. I got a laugh out of that and everybody quickly got to work grabbing their own cookies. Edward stayed where he was before Emmett started playing with Cookie Edward and Cookie Tanya, putting them in some very compromising positions and making them say some very dirty things. Things that even had me blushing. Edward jumped up from his chair and snatched away Cookie Tanya, breaking her in half and throwing it at Emmett. Emmett chuckled, always pleased to find a way to tease his friend.

I was less than thrilled to learn that he had in fact been with Tanya like that. I figured as much, since she made it a point to stop by the table every day and push her boobs in Edward's face. Didn't mean I had to like it.

Eventually, everybody filtered back into the living room. Alice and I stayed behind to finish cleaning up the mess we had made in the kitchen.

"Hey, Alice?" I decided to ask. The most she could do was not answer. She looked up, waiting for me to continue.

"How long has Edward been smoking?" She frowned a bit at my question, raising an eyebrow.

"You saw him smoking?" She questioned. I nodded and she sighed.

"He doesn't do it habitually. Just every now and then when he's feeling stressed out. I think he started freshman year. I don't like it, but what can you do?" She shrugged, continuing to scrub at a plate. I leaned against the counter.

"Why is he feeling stressed?" I wasn't sure if it was a stupid question or not. It could be common stress, the stuff we all go through as high school students. Something told me, however, that Edward wasn't common with most things.

Alice paused, scrubbing at the plate though it was probably clean at this point.

"Alice?" She looked up at me, then placed the plate beside the sink, before turning to me.

"Look. I'm only telling you this because I feel like you're an integral part of our group now. You should know. But please, don't give him pity or treat him different or anything. He hates that."

My brow furrowed as I tried to understand what Alice was saying to me.

"Right before school started in second grade, Edward and his mom were in a car crash. He was hurt pretty bad and his mother…she was killed." My eyes bugged out at this. She looked away again and sighed.

"He hasn't ever really been the same. But every year around this time, he gets pretty down. It's hard to deal with I'm sure, even though it's been ten years. He doesn't like to talk about it, so please don't bring it up."

I nodded, my head swimming with new information as Alice went back to finishing up the dishes.

It seemed Edward and I had more in common than I thought.

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**Soooo, I would really appreciate a review. Even if it's just to yell at me for taking so long to get this out. PLEASE AND THANK YOU AND CHERRIES ON TOP AND EDWARD'S CUTE LITTLE SMIRK. **


	11. Barbie Girl

**Ugh. I can't even tell you how sorry I am for the three month hiatus. I truly wasn't planning on it, but all this stuff happened and then before I even realized it, it was June.**

**If you want an explanation, keep reading. If not, please continue on to this chapter and I really hope you'll be sticking with me for the remainder of this story.**

**Basically, back in March my spleen ruptured. It had been enlarged because I was sick with mono and when a friend of mine tried to hoist me over his shoulder, he hit it just right and just hard enough to make it rupture. That sure as hell wasn't fun. I missed even more school because of that and by the time I finally got back, I was pretty far behind. I was in danger of failing geometry and biology, I was still sick and on medication, and I was tired as hell. I just had so much going on and I was scrambling to get it all done. I just couldn't find any time to write a decent chapter; by the time I was all done with my tutor and all the work I had to do at night I was literally falling asleep on my feet. I was always thinking of this story and what I wanted to write next, but actually writing it down was proving to be a very difficult task.**

**And now I feel even more horrible because I'm leaving the country on the 26th for three weeks and then I'm flying down to South Carolina to visit some family for two. I'm going to try to post like crazy until I leave and I'll probably be able to when I'm in South Carolina. I've already got the next chapter written and will probably put that up later today and I'm working on the chapter after that but I probably won't post that until Saturday because tomorrow I have bio Regents and Friday I have global regents, which I'm furiously trying to study for.**

**Once again, I feel absolutly horrible for the wait. I know I may have lost some readers because of it, but I haven't given up on it yet and I hope there are still some people out there who haven't either. Really, I love this story. Thank you all so much for the reviews last time; you're too good to me. **

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**Bella POV

I made my way through the forest, which was enveloped in a thick haze. It was the forest around Forks; the murky lighting caused by the absolute green that coated every surface was a dead giveaway. As I continued walking forward, it got harder and harder to see as more of the thick haze surrounding me accumulated. I began swatting it away from my eyes, trying to see in front of me.

Just as the cloud around me got to be almost unbearable, I stepped out of the trees and was faced with a deep valley ahead of me. The haze prevented me from seeing to the other side, but I could see down and a little bit in front of me, where a rickety bridge resided.

Trying to get my bearings, I turned my head swiftly to the right. Nothing but haze and trees. To the left. Even more haze.

Wait.

I brought my hand up above my eyes, knowing it wouldn't exactly help my vision but doing it out of habit, and inspected a silhouette leaning against a tree in the distance. Curious, I started forward, intent on knowing who was here with me.

I can't say I was surprised to find who it was, leaning casually against the tree. He was smoking a cigarette, which I figured out was the cause for all the haze around us, looking lazily in front of him. He didn't turn as I approached him, but simply continued to smoke his cigarette.

I gazed at him for a few moments, taking in his face, his green eyes, his bronze hair, the slight bags under his eyes, and the absolute calm he exuded. I found myself idling at his lips as he took a drag from the cigarette, getting lost in the way his lips puckered slightly and held the cigarette firmly in place while he breathed in the smoke.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked, my voice sounding loud after the never ending silence we had just been in. Edward shrugged.

"I'm always here." I found that I was puzzled by his answer.

"Why are you always here?" Again, he merely shrugged.

"Why would I leave?" He countered. I looked away towards the bridge that led into the cloud of smoke, but also to the other side of the valley.

"Don't you want to know what else is out there? Don't you think it might be worth it to go to the other side of the bridge?"

"Nah. I'm good. I mean, you can't even see what's on the other side. How do I even know that I'll get there alright? Or if I'll even want what it has to offer? There's too much risk."

"You'll never know until you try," I hedged. "I mean, I could do it with you, if you'd like." He contemplated the beginning of the bridge for a few moments before shaking his head again.

"It's not worth it. I'm comfortable here. Why change it now?" He continued to smoke his cigarette, as I stared at the increasing cloud of smoke in front of us. Slowly, the cloud started to suffocate me and I couldn't see Edward at all anymore.

Nothing was in sight anymore as I spun around, trying to figure out where anything was. But I could see nothing. Everything was lost in the smoke.

"I should have crossed when I had the chance," I muttered to myself, settling down in the dirt.

Suddenly, my eyes snapped open. I was back in my room. Back in Charlie's house. Everything was clear; my vision wasn't obscured by anything.

Which meant I could also see the evil little girl standing at the foot of my bed who was clearly ready and waiting for me.

"Alice," I groaned out, rubbing at my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Nine in the morning. Get your lazy butt out of bed, I want to go shopping," she demanded, tapping her foot against the wooden floor of my bedroom.

Hearing her lethal tone, I mustered up the needed energy and flipped my covers off my body, quickly swinging my legs over. This resulted in a slight head rush, and I sat there swaying like an idiot for a second.

"Get up," Alice ordered, throwing some clothes at me. "And put these on. If we don't get to the mall soon, I won't be held responsible for my actions." She grumbled at me before heading towards the door. Something dawned on me.

"Alice, how the hell did you get in my house?" She turned at the door.

"Charlie let me in." I thought this over.

"But Charlie usually leaves around 7:30 on Saturday mornings." I hoped this didn't mean what I think it meant.

"I know," she said airily. "We caught him just as he was leaving." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You've been here for an hour and a half?" I growled at her. She shrugged.

"I needed time to go through your closet and evaluate what exactly you needed for your wardrobe to be perfected. And let me tell you, Bella, it needs a lot of work."

I'd find time to be insulted by that later. Right now I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Alice willingly was up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, intending on going shopping.

Who does that?

"I'm going downstairs. Rosalie's waiting in the kitchen. Get dressed and come on." She disappeared out the door and I flopped back down on my bed, trying to decide if I could sneak in a few moments of down time.

I was a bit disoriented after waking up so suddenly from my dream.

My dream. What did all of that mean, anyways? What was Edward doing there? Why did it end like that?

"Isabella! Now!" I heard Alice yell up the stairs. I grabbed my pillow and groaned into it, before flinging it across the room and proceeding to get dressed. Clearly, I would not win this battle.

A few minutes later, I gracelessly stumbled into my kitchen and spotted Rosalie sitting at my kitchen table. In front of her was a bowl of cereal and the morning paper, which she was reading intently.

"Morning, Rose," I grumbled, moving to the cabinet to grab my own bowl. She waved in my direction, her eyes never deviating from the paper.

"So, I thought we could start with shirts for you Bella. You are sorely lacking in acceptable tops and I will not have a friend walking around resembling a hobo," Alice stated, skipping into the room. She crossed her arms and eyed me in my jeans and sweatshirt, unhappy. I rolled my eyes.

"Alice, aren't you worried that one of these times I'll actually take offense to your comments about my clothes?" She cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

"Nah. You love me."

I stared at her, as she continued to smirk, before I gave up and went back to filling up my bowl.

I settled in and started eating, while Alice sat across from me. Silence engulfed the room for a few minutes before Rosalie suddenly snorted, almost spitting out her cereal. Alice and I whipped our heads around to look at her, ready to do the Heimlich if necessary.

"What?" Rose asked, noticing our staring. "Am I too old to enjoy the comics?"

I laughed, shaking my head, as Alice rolled her eyes.

What friends I have.

After two bowls of cereal, and plentiful whining from Alice, I found myself in the car, headed up to Seattle to spend an entire day shopping.

"How long is this ride, exactly?" I asked as Alice pulled out onto the highway.

"About two hours," Rosalie spoke up from the back.

"Am I allowed to nap?" Alice and Rosalie laughed.

"What do I look like, your warden?" Alice joked.

"Well, excuse me, but after the way I was woken up this morning I just assumed that I was no longer in control of my sleeping patterns." Alice giggled again. Rosalie put her feet up on the back of my seat.

"Get some sleep, Bella. I'll wake you up when we get there," Alice answered, swatting at Rosalie's feet until she reluctantly removed them from the seat.

Alice started fiddling with the radio and I closed my eyes, happily slipping into a dreamless sleep.

I was woken up later by someone shaking my arm.

"Bella! Wakey wakey! Time for some shopping!" Alice said directly into my ear. I shot up in my seat, smacking my head on the window of the car.

"Ouch!" I heard Alice and Rosalie chuckle at my blunder. Avoiding further embarrassment, I unbuckled myself and got out the car. Alice and Rosalie followed suit.

"Have you ever been to Seattle before, Bella?" Rosalie inquired as I followed them into an intimidating looking department store.

"Just when I flew here, into Sea Tac. I only really got an aerial shot of it."

"Well, then you're in for a treat!" Alice hopped once again. "Seattle's a great city, and Rose and I know our way around pretty well."

"Meaning, you know your way around the clothing stores," I assumed. Rosalie laughed and looped her arm through mine as we followed Alice's lead through the store.

"Basically. But we also know some good places to eat. We'll take you out as a thank you for not beating Alice up this morning."

"Here, Bella," Alice said, handing me some shirts on hangers. "These will look good on you."

"How did you do that so fast?" I gasped, looking down at about five different tops.

"I already had in mind what I wanted to get you. You need some clothes to show off that rockin' body you have, and these shirts will do the trick." I rolled my eyes.

"Alice, I would hardly describe my body as rockin'."

"Come on, Bella. You're hot!" Rosalie yelled over some racks she was sorting through.

"Go and start trying those on. I'll bring you more stuff in a minute." Alice shooed me off towards the dressing rooms.

"Alice, we've only been here for like-"

"Bella, the sooner you get your little butt in the dressing room, the sooner you get out of here," Alice pointed out, moving to look at some skirts.

That got me in gear. I headed into the dressing rooms and picked one out.

I stood outside the door, and looked into the tiny little room, trying to come to terms with the fact that I'd be holed up in here for most of the day.

Such is life. At least, with Alice as your personal shopper.

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"See, Bella, it wasn't that bad!" Alice pointed a stern finger at me as we made our way back to the car. I ran a hand down my face, a little exhausted from all the changing in and out of clothes I had just done in the past four hours.

"Easy for you to say, Alice. I was changing so fast I couldn't even really register what I was wearing."

In Alice's words, it had been a 'successful day'. I had gotten about ten or so tops, all in different styles for different occasions. I had been forced to get two skirts, though I argued for a good ten minutes over them. I rarely ever wore skirts, so what was the point in owning two? Alice adamantly refused, however, to leave me skirtless. She also picked me out three pairs of jeans, which I actually liked and was a little excited to wear. But I would never let Alice know that. The result of alerting her that I felt something positive coming out of this little excursion would mean weekly shopping trips. At least.

"That's the price you have to pay for good fashion. But trust me, all that stuff looked fabulous on you," Alice complimented, popping the trunk of her car and shoving all of our bags in there.

"And now, as promised, it's time to get some food," Rosalie announced, climbing into her seat in the back.

"Yes!" I cried, pumping my fist in the air and hurrying into my seat. My stomach growled in agreement.

And minutes later, I found myself once again shaking my head at Alice.

"McDonald's? This is the good place you know?" I questioned, staring at the golden arches.

"We always like to finish off a day of shopping with some fast food," Alice explained, smiling at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. But you guys are paying for me and I'm getting a McFlurry."

"No McFlurries in my car!" Alice shouted, looking scared. I laughed maniacally.

"Yes, McFlurry. And a big Coke." Rosalie laughed from the back, enjoying the show. Alice pouted but conceded, pulling up in the drive thru line.

We ordered and were soon back on the road towards Forks.

"How's the McFlurry, Bella?" Rosalie asked from the back, munching on some fries.

"Like an orgasm in my mouth," I moaned, scooping up some vanilla ice cream with M&M's.

"Speaking of sex," Alice started, and I immediately didn't trust her tone. "Have you ever, Bella?"

I felt my blush flare up, right on cue. That question was random.

"Alice, what the fuck?" I mumbled, focusing more on my McFlurry than anything else.

"Oh, come on, Bella. We're all girls here. I'll tell you anything you want to know." I sat in silence, swirling around my ice cream.

"No," I murmured quietly. "I'm a virgin."

"The boy's in Phoenix must be very virtuous," Rosalie commented. The two of them didn't seem fazed at all about my admission, but I was still a bit embarrassed by it. By the looks of it, the two of them probably weren't as innocent as me.

"I wouldn't know. I never had a boyfriend," I found myself admitting. This, however, left both of them with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Never?" Alice repeated, seeming to be very disbelieving.

"Nope. Never."

"How is that even possible? You're funny and gorgeous and totally smart. You're definitely girlfriend material," Rosalie commented.

"Thanks, but maybe you should tell them that. I had my fair share of crushes, but nobody ever asked me out." I shrugged, kind of wanting to drop the subject.

"Well," Alice said, grinning. "You don't seem to have that problem here. The boys of Forks are just dying to get a piece of Bella Swan." I groaned. I had assumed that was the case, since the past few weeks I had been dodging multiple suitors, but I had played it off. I had told myself it was just my imagination. Apparently, I was wrong.

"Yeah, Newton seems to be very enthusiastic," Rosalie chuckled. Alice and Rosalie laughed together, seemingly about something that I had no knowledge about.

"You know, I've noticed he tries to keep his distance from you guys. Why is that?" I asked.

"The boys love to terrorize him. They've been doing it ever since elementary school," Alice explained. "Emmett pulled his pants down one day while we were playing kick ball. Newton was totally humiliated and hasn't really come near us since."

We all laughed together at this. I could just imagine Emmett as a little kid, being an absolute rascal. Some things never change.

We made it back to Forks in record time and I invited the girls to hang out at my house. We pulled in my driveway and I could see there were no lights on in the house, Charlie's cruiser missing from the driveway.

"Charlie must be working late tonight," I remarked, getting out of the car. I stretched my muscles before going around to grab some bags from Alice. We made it through the door, dropping everything in the living room, before making our way up to my bedroom.

"Bed!" Rosalie yelled, belly flopping onto my bed. Alice followed suit as I made myself comfortable sitting on my pillow. We sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, just trying to wind down after being on our feet all day.

"So," Alice began, a devilish glint in her eye. "Who wants to hear some gossip?"

I rolled my eyes but Rosalie was immediately at attention, waiting to hear what Alice was going to say.

"God, you two are worse than the nurses," I mumbled. They both ignored my comment.

"So, I heard Tanya talking to Lauren at her locker the other day. _Apparently_, Tanya thinks that she and Edward are in love."

Rosalie broke out into a fit of giggles.

"She actually said that?" Alice nodded her head.

"She said that he clearly is in love with her so all they have to do is get away from this town and everybody who would judge them. Then they can be together exactly how they both want to."

Rosalie snorted, Alice chuckled, and I sat there a little pissed off.

Tanya does not own Edward. She never would. God, I just wanted to grab her dyed fucking hair and rip-

"Bella?" Alice interrupted my thoughts. "Everything okay?"

My irritation with Tanya must have been showing on my face. I quickly switched my expression, hoping to just play it off.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered. "But Edward doesn't really like Tanya right? I mean, she's just crazy and totally full of herself, right?"

I pressed for more information, trying to be subtle but probably failing miserably.

Alice smirked at me. Crap. I was caught.

"Why so interested, Bella?" She asked, obviously trying to embarrass me.

"Um, I'm not really. Just, you know, trying to keep up with a friend's relationship. I mean, I wouldn't want to make an ass of myself by badmouthing Tanya in front of Edward if he actually did like her."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Alice said dismissively. "Edward's been kicking himself ever since he hooked up with her. He doesn't think too highly of her."

"Does anybody?" Rosalie replied, laughing.

"You know," Alice started. "It's okay if you like Edward, Bella. Just think if you guys went out, we could all go out on dates together! So, do you like him?"

"I, uh," I stammered, trying to think on my feet as Alice sat waiting for an answer. How did this ever happen?

"Alice, go grab the bags so we can start putting Bella's stuff away in the order you want it to be," Rosalie said, effectively distracting Alice. She hopped up from the bed, and I could hear her quick footsteps on the stairs as she descended.

"Thanks, Rose," I murmured, looking down at the comforter.

"Don't worry about it."

I could hear Alice struggling with all the bags coming up the stairs and chuckled to myself. I bet all those bags of clothes weighed more than Alice.

"Bella?" Rosalie called out quietly. I turned to face her and she was staring at me, seemingly a bit concerned. "Concerning Edward…just be careful, okay? He's not exactly the easiest person to get close to."

I sighed.

"Yeah, I've noticed." Rosalie smiled at me sadly before Alice came bursting through the door.

"Okay, Bella, so I have a certain way in which a closet should be organized."

Alice headed over towards my closet and dropped the bags before opening the doors.

"We'll put the more summery clothes towards the back. The fancy things, we'll hang up so they don't wrinkle. Everyday clothing will go towards the front. We could probably just fold them and put them on shelves since it's mostly shirts and jeans."

I could hear Alice's voice, muffled as she went further into my walk-in closet. Rosalie got up and started going through the bags, separating the clothing into the categories Alice had just been mentioning.

Suddenly, I heard a loud thud come from within the closet and Alice yelped.

"Alice, are you okay?" I shouted, looking at Rosalie who also looked quite confused.

"Yeah," Alice said, emerging from my closet. With one hand she was rubbing her hand and in the other she was carrying a photo album. I felt a deep pang of sadness as I recognized the photo album; it had been one I had taken from Phoenix. My mother had gone through a scrap booking phase a few years ago and had put together a few. I took my favorite; it was filled with pictures of me and her.

"Bella, what the hell is this? You could knock a person out with it." Alice handed the book over to me, and I gingerly opened up to the first page. A picture of my mom holding me in the hospital after I had been born stared up at me.

"Is that your mom?" Rosalie asked quietly from beside me. I nodded and sat on the bed, continuing to look through the pictures. Rose and Alice sat on either side of me, and I found myself explaining the pictures to them.

"This was on a vacation in California," I explained, as we quietly laughed at what was before us. I had been about four years old at the time. We were standing on a boardwalk by the ocean. Renee was wearing shorts and a 'Frankie Says Relax' shirt. I was up on her shoulders, eating an ice cream cone. The ice cream was dripping all over Renee's hair, but she hadn't noticed. The next picture, however, was when she did notice.

"I did this when I had been playing with some neighborhood kids," I chuckled, looking at myself in the picture. I had managed to wrap my entire body up in a jump rope, and my mom was futilely trying to get me out. We eventually had to cut me out.

The pictures progressed and I saw myself as an awkward sixth grader, then a teenager, then my first years in high school.

I turned to the final page to see the last picture of my mom and me. It was right before the junior prom at my school. My mom had gone shopping with me and together we had found the perfect dress. I had let her do my hair and makeup, though I pouted the entire time. In the end, though, I had ended up looking pretty great. In the picture, I was all dressed up and ready to go. My mom had her arm around me and was kissing my cheek.

I finally couldn't reign in the tears anymore as I looked at that final picture. Memories of my mom were bombarding me. I was tired of trying to keep up a brave face when talking or thinking of my mom. Right now I just needed to let it out.

I closed the book and slid it away before burying my face in my hands and letting the tears fall. Rosalie and Alice immediately had me enveloped in a hug, rubbing my back and trying to soothe me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice whispered.

"It's just not fair!" I sobbed, my body trembling slightly. "Why did she have to die? I know that sometimes these things are out of our control, but that doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I know," Rosalie soothed, rubbing my back some more.

"I try to keep a brave face because I know my mom wouldn't want me to sit and grieve for the rest of my life. I had all summer to grieve and now I'm just trying to live, you know? I know that's what she would want. But, sometimes, I just miss her so much. I miss her so damn much, guys."

They didn't say anything more, just let me cry it out. Eventually, as my cries turned into sniffles, Rosalie broke away to answer her ringing phone.

"Hello?" She answered, before smiling. "Hey sweetie, what's up?"

Emmett.

"Bella's house, why?" Rosalie answered Emmett, looking confused. He replied and she rolled her eyes.

"Are you kidding? Fine, but you guys are paying." She flipped her phone shut and turned to Alice and I who were still on the bed.

"The boys are hungry and tired of waiting for us to be done with 'girl time'," she raised her hands to do air quotes while saying girl time. I could just imagine Emmett saying that in an obnoxious tone.

"They're coming to pick us up to go to Peppino's."

Just as Rosalie finished her sentence, a loud blaring of a horn was heard from my driveway.

"Rose, go tell them we'll be right out. Bella, let's go wash your face," Alice suggested, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the bathroom.

Alice instructed me to scrub my face before she decided to apply some makeup to try to hide the redness of my eyes.

"Bella," she said quietly while working on my face. "I just want you to know I think you're really strong. Going through all this and still being able to function? That shows some real bravery. Not all people would be able to be like you in this type of situation."

I was momentarily stunned by her compliment, but eventually snapped out of it and thanked her.

I wondered idly about Edward. He had lost his mother as well. How had he coped with it?

"All done," Alice declared, patting my shoulder. I glanced at myself in the mirror and liked what I saw. If only I had the dedication needed to get up and apply my own makeup every morning.

"Yes, you're gorgeous. Now, let's go," Alice said, grabbing my hand once again and pulling me towards the stairs.

After leaving a note for Charlie, I followed Alice outside to the car.

"Emmett, really? You brought the Jeep? You do realize we're not all going to fit in this car of yours," Alice ranted. Emmett was leaning against the side of the car with Rosalie. He simply shrugged.

"Alice, you barely count as a whole person, you're so small. Just sit on Jasper's lap or something."

Emmett bounded over to the driver's side and hopped in while Rosalie lifted herself into the passenger's seat. We opened the door to the backseat to find Edward and Jasper.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed, scrambling over Edward in her haste to reach Jasper. I laughed as Edward yelped in protest but Alice was too busy flying into Jasper's waiting arms to notice.

I climbed into the backseat and shut the door.

"Hey, Edward," I greeted him warmly.

"Hey," he said back, before putting his feet up on the back of Rosalie's seat. Rosalie instantly swatted at them, yelling about dirt in her hair or something like that. I giggled as Edward sighed.

"Rose, I promise I haven't been running around in the woods recently. These shoes are relatively clean," Edward tried to protest, going to put his feet back up. She swatted them back down again.

"Relative being the key word in that sentence, Edward. Not a chance," Rosalie sneered at him.

"You know, you can be a real - ow!" Edward began, before being cut off by Emmett leaning back and swiftly punching him.

"Harsh," Edward muttered, as he rubbed where Emmett had pounded on his shin. I couldn't help myself, and giggled. Edward looked like petulant little kid, sitting there grumbling and pouting his lip.

He heard my giggle and looked up to meet my eyes. He smirked for a second, before rolling his eyes and moving his feet safely onto the floor.

"See, now is that so bad?" Rosalie asked, talking to Edward as if he were actually five years old.

"Yes, actually," Edward shot back. "I was much more comfortable before." Rosalie stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't be such a baby. We'll be there in a minute," Rosalie dismissed him, facing forward again.

I heard a quiet chuckle come from Edward, and turned to look at him. He was looking down, shaking his head, and silently laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?" I questioned quietly. His gaze shot up to meet mine, momentarily startled, before I saw a mischievous glint return to his eyes.

"Look at Rose's hair," Edward whispered, his shoulders shaking as he tried to contain his laughter. I shot a glance at Rosalie's head in front of me before joining Edward in his silent fit of laughter.

On the left side of Rosalie's head, where Edward's feet had just been, sat a big clump of dirt.

I slid my gaze to Edward's, which proved to be a fatal mistake, as it made us each start to laugh harder.

"What are you two giggling about?" Alice inquired, looking at us two as if we were on drugs. We quickly straightened our expressions, and Edward shrugged his shoulders. Alice rolled her eyes, before turning back to Jasper.

Edward and I shared a conspiratorial glance, knowing he would be in deep shit when Rosalie discovered the dirt, but enjoying our little inside joke for the moment.

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**It would make me really happy to get some reviews for this. Next chapter should be up later today. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Baby It's Cold Outside

**As promised, here's the next chapter. I know everybody is anxiously waiting for some E/B action, but it will happen when it's right. Believe me, I want it to happen just as much as you. Everything happens for a reason, I'm not simply dragging this out to torture you. Though it may seem like it.**

**I want to thank everybody for the support. It's really great to know that there are still people out there that want to read this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sigh.  
**

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EPOV

I stared out of my window as the snow floated down from the sky.

Snow. It was better than rain, at least. Rain didn't usually get us days off of school.

We were heading into December, which meant holidays and shopping and joy and shit. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. As if we needed to give Alice more of a reason to shop, anyways. This time of year usually meant sore feet for Jasper, Emmett, and I. The girls were relentless with their shopping trips.

And, I'm sure this year with our new addition, there would be much more shopping to do.

Not that Bella was much of a shopper. I could tell she didn't exactly like to shop, but she did it because Alice asked her to. She did it because it would make Alice happy.

Another reason why it made it so damn hard to try to keep Bella Swan a safe distance away.

In the months that I've known her, I've gotten to know her pretty well. Not from her personally, but from stories I heard or overhearing conversations. She was really nice, and a really sweet person. She was a good friend to my friends, I could give her that.

But she also confused the hell out of me. Whenever my mind wandered, I'd find myself wondering how the hell she was so open about her mom and how she-

I didn't like this line of thought. It's led to a lot more cigarettes being smoked, which really isn't good. I knew it wasn't good, but I couldn't find it in myself to care sometimes. I just didn't want to think about Bella Swan, and how she had fun and laughed and talked about her mom when it's only been less than a year since her mom died, while it's been ten years since my mom died and I can't even-

I had to stop. I really did.

It's so strange, because most years this funk hasn't lasted so long. I just felt…weird all the time. Something was eating at me, but I couldn't figure out what. It was frustrating, to say the least.

I heard some banging coming from down in the kitchen, breaking me out of my thoughts. Carlisle had left early this morning after informing me that school had been closed due to the weather, so it couldn't be him. Suddenly feeling a little nervous, I decided to go investigate.

Grabbing my baseball bat from when I used to play in fourth grade, I crept down the stairs slowly, hearing quiet murmuring and movement from down in the kitchen.

I kept close to the wall as I approached the kitchen, raising the baseball bat just in case immediate action was necessary. My heart was pounding in my chest and my hand shook just a little bit as I got closer to the kitchen.

When I reached the entrance, I steeled myself for a moment, before jumping into the kitchen.

I was met with screams, as Emmett and Jasper jumped a foot in the air at the sight of me armed with a baseball bat. I swore under my breath, very relieved I wasn't dealing with a break in, but now a little pissed that they had scared me like that. And how the hell did they get into my house?

"Jesus Christ, Edward, what the hell are you doing?" Emmett bellowed, putting a hand on his chest as he shook his head, trying to get over the shock. Jasper was rubbing a spot on his head that had smacked the side of a cabinet when he jumped.

"I could ask you the same fucking question. How the hell did you two get in my house?" I voiced my earlier thoughts. Emmett fished into his pocket, before holding up a key, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Spare key," he said, as if it were obvious.

"We have a spare key?" I questioned, confused. "Since when?" Emmett and Jasper exchanged glances before looking at me, eyeing me as if I were mentally unstable.

"What?" I asked, miffed that they were looking at me like I was out of my mind.

"You seriously are the spaciest person I have ever met," Jasper commented. "Have you never heard Carlisle mention the spare key when we're leaving? He always mentions that there's a spare key under the mat if you forget yours." I shrugged.

"I tend to block out Carlisle most of the time," I muttered. "Now, why are you two in my house?"

"It's a snow day!" Emmett practically squealed. Jasper chuckled.

"Oh, really? I must have missed the memo. I thought it was routine for a Friday morning to be standing in my kitchen in my sweatpants, rather than sitting in class," I remarked sarcastically to Emmett. He rolled his eyes before turning back to my refrigerator, which had been opened since my grand entrance.

"We were coming over to get your lazy ass out of bed," Jasper explained. "However, Emmett wanted to make a pit stop in the kitchen for a little snack. He was looking for sandwich fixings when you came in and tried to beat us to death."

Emmett turned back to me, the refrigerator now closed, with half a roast beef sandwich hanging out of his mouth. He grinned, before swallowing the entire half in one gulp. Typical Emmett. He eats like a bear or something.

"What are we doing today?" I asked, pushing past Emmett to grab a glass of orange juice.

"Well, the girls are doing something…girly," Emmett began before Jasper interrupted.

"Watching movies that make them cry their eyes out," he supplied, letting Emmett finish.

"So," Emmett continued. "We thought we'd have some man time. You know how crying girls freak me out." I chuckled, thinking of how uncomfortable Emmett has been whenever Alice or Rosalie have cried in the past. Big Bad Emmett afraid of tears. It was pretty funny.

"What does man time entail?" I asked, sipping my orange juice.

"Video games," Emmett and Jasper both suggested at the same time. I nodded my head, putting my now empty glass in the sink.

"I'll go get dressed," I muttered to them, before exiting the kitchen, picking up my bat on the way out. I could hear Jasper and Emmett's muffled laughter as I bounded up the stairs.

A while later, we were sitting in Emmett's living room, playing Call of Duty 4 and thoroughly enjoying shooting each other.

"Hello boys," Emmett's mom greeted us, appearing behind us. Mrs. McCarty was very short, with a rosy face and long, curly brown hair. She stood a good foot below Emmett, but the woman could scare him into doing anything she wanted. He was putty in her hands, a true momma's boy. Emmett immediately paused the game, racing around the couch to plant a kiss on his mother's cheek.

"Hey, Ma," he said back, as she ruffled his hair. Jasper snickered at Emmett's 'momma's boy' tendencies. I, however, found nothing really humorous in Emmett's actions. Rather, I found myself a little jealous.

"What'cha laughing at, Jazz?" Emmett scowled threateningly at Jasper, throwing his arm around his mother's shoulders. Jasper immediately sobered up, shrugging his shoulders. Mrs. McCarty chuckled.

"You boys need anything?" She asked, smiling down at me. I grinned back, feeling a little melancholy. Stupid feelings were all over the place all the time. Maybe I was permanently PMSing?

"Nah, we're good," Emmett answered. Mrs. McCarty gave his son's hair one more good ruffle before heading up the stairs.

Emmett sat back down and unpaused the game, and the fighting continued. However, I didn't seem to have the same enthusiasm as I did before. After being killed more times than I would like to admit, I finally set my controller down and headed out of the room.

"Hey, man, where you going?" Emmett yelled after me.

"Just need some air," I yelled over my shoulder, stepping out onto the back porch. I reached into my pants pocket, grabbing my packet of cigarettes and lighter.

I leaned against the railing as I smoked in silence, squinting up at the grey sky that was still producing small white flakes.

Suddenly, the door opened and Emmett and Jasper stepped out, frowning at me.

"Some air," Emmett muttered, moving over to the opposite railing and mirroring my stance. I looked away from the two of them, and we stood in silence for a few moments.

"What's up, man?" Jasper finally spoke up from where he was standing, in the middle of me and Emmett. He was looking at me expectantly. I shrugged, not knowing what he wanted me to say.

_Seeing Emmett kiss his mom's cheek makes me want to cry. Now let me blacken my lungs._

"Nothing," I muttered. I heard Jasper sigh.

"You're fucking lying and you know it," Jasper pointed out, getting frustrated with me already. I sighed harshly, putting my cigarette out in one of the ashtrays that Emmett's dad kept out here for his cigars. I ran my hand through my hair, uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

"Look, whatever. It doesn't matter. I don't wanna talk about it," I tried to play it off like nothing. Jasper wasn't having that.

"Don't even try, Edward."

"Look, dude. It's just…" Emmett began, shifting from foot to foot. "You've been acting a little…"

"Sad. Troubled. Withdrawn. Ever since school started," Jasper interrupted. "We always know to expect it in the beginning of the year. But now, we're getting a little worried. I mean, it's never been like this. What's going on with you?"

I looked down at the floor, nudging some snow with the toe of my beat up Converse. My feet were fucking freezing in the snow with these shoes on. I tried to focus on my slowly numbing feet rather than the questions Jasper was throwing at me.

"Nothing," I tried to dismiss them. Emmett groaned.

"What the hell, Edward?" He threw his big hands up in the air. "Since when do you never talk to us? We're your boys. This is what we're here for." I felt a little bad after that. Emmett and Jasper looked genuinely insulted that I wasn't cluing them in.

"Look," I started off cautiously. "I don't really know what's up. I just…can't stop thinking about it I guess." I shrugged again, not making eye contact.

"What do you mean?" Jasper hedged for more information. "Come on, Edward. Talk to us."

"It's just…" I continued, frustrated. Suddenly, words were pouring out of me. "Everything reminds me of my mom and what happened and I keep having the same dream over and over. It's just the accident, every single time. I just feel stuck, I guess." Emmett and Jasper were silent for a moment.

"Why do you think it's different this year?" Jasper asked. I shrugged, running my hand through my hair once more.

"I don't know," I muttered.

"Hey," Emmett spoke up. "Do you ever think maybe about talking to Bella about it?"

My body tensed when I heard his suggestion. Talk to Bella about my mom?

"No," I shook my head. "She doesn't know and that seems to have worked so far."

Jasper and Emmett exchanged another look before looking back to me.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure she knows," Emmett said, scratching the back of his head. My eyes practically bugged out of my head.

"What? Why? How? Who?" I stammered, a little fucking pissed that someone had already spilled the beans. This is exactly what I didn't want.

"Look," Emmett raised his hands in defense of himself. "What does it matter? It's not like she was horrified or something, it's not like it's some gruesome secret."

_Yeah, to you maybe. _

"Who told her?" I demanded, ignoring Emmett.

"What does it matter?" Emmett repeated.

"It matters to me," I shot back. "So, could somebody please fill me in?"

"We don't know who told her," Jasper replied calmly. "But we know that she knows."

I sighed harshly, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

What she must think of me after hearing that story. And after I've avoided her so much…she must think I'm a heartless bastard.

_Well, isn't that kinda true?_

I tried shaking my thoughts away, as Emmett and Jasper stared at me expectantly.

"Whatever. Doesn't even matter," I muttered.

"Do you not like Bella or something?" Emmett suddenly questioned, crossing his huge arms over his chest.

"No," I quickly defended myself. Because it wasn't that I didn't like Bella. I did. Probably more than I should.

"Then what the hell is your deal?"

"I don't have one," I retorted.

"Really?" Emmett shot back. "Then why is it that every time Bella's around, you shut up and withdraw into your own little Edward bubble. And you seem to avoid the girl like she's the freakin' plague. We're finally even in numbers and you act like it's the worst thing in the world to have a new friend. Like it hurts to be around her or something."

Emmett's rant was interrupted by his cell phone going off. He dug it out of his jeans pocket and looked at the name on the front screen.

"Damn. It's Rose. Hold on, guys," he mumbled, before going back into the house to talk to his girlfriend in private.

"You know, Edward," Jasper started saying quietly. "Bella could be a really good friend to you."

I snorted, looking out into the trees.

"I'm serious," Jasper persisted. "You should give it a chance."

I stayed silent, not making eye contact with Jasper. He spoke up again a few moments later.

"Why are you so scared to get close to her?"

My body tensed at his question. How did he do that?

"And it's not just her," Jasper observed. "Any girl, any person really. Anybody new that comes into your life, you push away."

"So?" I mumbled, still not making eye contact.

"So, you shouldn't do that. Well most times. With people like Tanya, push them as far as they can go," Jasper joked, chuckling. I chuckled with him for a second.

"But you shouldn't be afraid to get close to someone. You should at least give it a shot."

I stood and digested his words. I wished it was that easy. Just let somebody into your life. But what if something went wrong? What if they didn't want you in their life? What if they left or something happened to them…

It was just too much to think about. Too much of myself getting involved. Too much to lose.

"It's not too much to lose," Jasper argued. I hadn't even realized I was voicing my thoughts and felt my cheeks heat slightly.

"What would you be losing? You would just be gaining a friend. What am I missing here, Edward?"

"I knew Bella," I suddenly blurted. Oh, shit. What was I doing?

"What?" Jasper's eyebrows came together in confusion. I sighed. Clearly, my mind wanted to tell Jasper this stuff. I just wish my mind had consulted with me first.

"Remember when I was doing that community service in the hospital in September?" I reminded Jasper. He nodded.

"Well, I met Bella while I was there. We spent the entire week together, every afternoon. We talked the entire time and I got to know her pretty well." Jasper's mouth was open in shock; he wasn't expecting this one.

"But, I just knew that I couldn't be a good friend to her, you know? I'm not a good friend to anyone. Not even to you guys, really. I just…didn't want her to have to deal with me and my shit. And I wasn't really expecting Alice to invite her to lunch that first day. But I thought if I just ignored her, I could still keep her at a safe distance."

Jasper was shaking his head by the time I was done.

"You're an idiot," he stated simply. I stared at him, a little annoyed. I had just admitted something big to him and he was calling me an idiot?

"Why do you have yourself so convinced that you can't be a good friend? You're a great friend, without even realizing it. You know we don't mind being there for you, just like you're there for us. You're not a burden."

_Yeah right. Since when have I ever been there for you? None of you have problems. Your lives are perfect._

Jasper might have been saying this to make me feel better. I couldn't ever see him as the type of person to do that, but I didn't see any other reason for him to be doing it. I simply nodded, knowing that disagreeing with him now would only get us arguing again.

"And that was a real douche bag move," he chastised, looking a bit angry. "Bella's a really nice girl. You guys could be great friends if you just gave it a try. Everybody loves her, I know you would too."

_Yeah. That's the problem._

Ugh, why did I want to believe Jasper's words so badly? Why did I have such opposing feelings? On the one hand, I didn't want to involve myself with somebody new. I didn't want her to have to deal with me and the shit that I've done. But, on the other hand, a part of me yearned to just have her in my life in any way possible. I wanted to be able to talk to her like we did that first week. I wanted to share new music with her and have her yell at me when I say something stupid and all that good stuff.

"You should apologize," Jasper went on. "And I really think you should make an effort to become friends with her. You both deserve a good friend."

I mulled this over. Tossing his words back and forth in my mind.

Perhaps…maybe, I could be something like friends with Bella. I mean, I definitely knew that the problem wasn't Bella. If I wasn't the person that I am, I would be friends with her in a heartbeat.

But, we were halfway through senior year. I could hang out with her for a few months. She _was _the only girl in this town with a brain. Who said I had to bring up anything serious?

It was just getting so damn hard, trying to stay away from Bella. For one, she was there all the time. And she fascinated me. Maybe if I got over my fascination, I could sleep easier at night.

"Maybe," I finally conceded, shrugging my shoulders. Jasper's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, but he tried to conceal it.

"Cool, man."

Emmett chose that moment to come barreling through the back door once more.

"Edward, can you hold off the angst for a little while? The girls want to hang out," Emmett directed towards me, sarcasm in his voice. I smirked at him.

"I think I can manage, asshole."

"They're done with their girly stuff?" Jasper questioned. Emmett nodded.

"Yeah. They're at Alice's house and they want us to come over now."

Not feeling quite as conflicted, with firm resolve in my mind, we headed over to Alice's house.

---------

BPOV

"Okay," Rose flipped her phone closed, facing Alice and I. "Emmett said they're going to be over in a few."

Alice squealed, clapping her hands together. I rolled my eyes.

"Is that your reaction to everything?" I grumbled. Alice playfully swatted me.

"Oh, hush, Bella. I would've been able to see Jasper sooner, but _somebody's _boyfriend kidnapped him because he's afraid of tears." Alice glared pointedly in Rosalie's direction, who scoffed.

"As if that's my fault. I barely cry to begin with, I don't know why he's so afraid of crying girls."

I giggled, thinking of Emmett cowering in fear of some teary eyed girl.

"It's just as well," I commented. "Guys generally tend to roll their eyes while watching romance movies. It would have completely ruined the experience." Alice and Rosalie nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe it's so close to Christmas!" Alice exclaimed, flopping back on her bed. I chuckled once again.

In the months since I'd met Alice, I had noticed that she had a tendency to switch topics so much that I could barely keep up. She chattered a mile a minute anyways, never ceasing to confuse me.

"I love Christmas," Rosalie nodded in agreement. "I especially love when the family comes over. We have this senile great aunt who always gives the most outrageous presents. Last year, she gave Jasper a Barbie doll. And she gave me a hamster. Wrapped the poor thing up in a shoe box!" We all laughed hysterically. I felt a little bad for the hamster, but it was just too funny thinking of Jasper receiving a Barbie.

"Well, I love Christmas for less crazy reasons," Alice teased. "My mom makes the _best _Christmas cookies. We go all out for Christmas. Decorations, tree, music, presents. And we never really have to deal with any crazy relatives. We go visit my Grandma and Grandpa on Christmas Eve and then Edward and Carlisle usually come over on Christmas day. God, I just love this time of year! Everybody's so happy and you get to spend it with those you love."

I found my mood getting worse and worse as Alice's rant went on.

This year had been full of firsts. First day of school without mom. First Halloween without mom. First trip to the hospital without mom. First Thanksgiving without mom.

I guess I hadn't steeled myself for this coming occasion. Christmas was Renee's thing. She loved being with those she loved, she loved decorating our tree and singing along horribly to Christmas carols. She was one of those people that were happy all year round and were so overjoyed when people started sharing the same feelings.

It was strange that the world went on without her. That all these holidays and events had passed without her.

"I'm going to go get some water," I announced, as I rose from the bed. Alice and Rosalie seemed too caught up in their talk of the holidays to notice the frown on my face.

I made my way downstairs, hoping I wouldn't run into Esme. She would automatically know something was wrong; mother's intuition and all that. I made it safely into the living room, plopping down on the couch and letting my head fall into my hands.

_Breathe. You got through all that other stuff without her. You can do this too. Just breathe._

I took in steady breaths as I say cross legged on the couch. Suddenly, I felt a hand on top of my head.

"Bella, honey, are you okay?" I heard a sweet voice say softly. I looked up to see Esme, looking very concerned, her hand rubbing the top of my head in a comforting gesture. I sighed, looking down at my lap.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, a little unsteadily. She looked at me for a few moments, studying my face, before nodding and walking back to the kitchen.

I heard the door open and the loud clomping of feet as the boys entered the house. I grinned slightly; they couldn't ever be stealth.

"Yoo hoo!" Emmett yelled, and I could hear Esme groan teasingly.

"Who said you could come over?" Esme questioned as she came out to greet the boys. Emmett appeared first, followed by Jasper and Edward. Emmett bounded up and spun Esme around in a hug.

"We tried to tell him he couldn't come, but he wouldn't listen," Jasper joked, kissing Esme on the cheek. She laughed a tinkling chuckle, watching Emmett bound up the stairs, shouting for Rosalie. Jasper followed quickly after him, eager to see Alice.

"And where have you been?" Esme scolded Edward, tearing his hood off his head. Edward laughed, sounding very genuine, before reaching to hug Esme.

"Oh, I've been busy. The drugs won't sell themselves, you know?" Edward joked, shocking me a bit. He sounded so carefree while talking to Esme. I hadn't seen him around Alice's house a lot, so I never noticed it before. He sounded happy. It was so foreign.

Esme smacked Edward on the back of the head. I couldn't help giggling at that.

"I'm so lucky you're not my kid, Edward. You'd make me go prematurely gray," Esme teased, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to go make some Christmas cookies, since Alice was squealing about them before." Esme turned to wink at me, eliciting another giggle. Of course Alice could be heard all throughout the house. Esme returned to the kitchen and Edward suddenly turned to face me.

He looked at me for a moment, seeming a bit unsure. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on in that head of his. Suddenly, his brows furrowed and he stepped into the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly. I was a bit taken aback. Edward didn't usually volunteer to talk to me. However, I nodded my head, quickly reaching up to casually wipe my cheeks, checking to see if any tears had fallen. Nope, I was good.

"Why do you ask?" I inquired, and Edward stepped closer. He finally reached the couch and lowered himself down beside me.

"You look troubled," he replied, eyeing me from his spot next to me. I lowered my gaze to where my hands were playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Yeah," I breathed, not knowing what to say. I was troubled. Why deny it?

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, genuine concern in his voice. I was still at a loss as to why he was suddenly expressing such interest, but who was I to argue?

"The holidays are coming up. It's my first Christmas without my mom," I admitted. I could sense Edward tensing up next to me.

"Yeah, that's rough," he said, sounding a little upset himself. I looked up to meet his gaze, finding that his eyebrows were furrowed. He dropped that look suddenly, grinning at me.

_What? A grin? It must be my lucky day!_

"Don't worry, though. You'll be in for a treat this year. Alice doesn't half-ass Christmas," he smirked, rolling his eyes. I chuckled.

"I got that idea. She was talking about it before and I got the idea that Alice could be a Christmas elf herself."

"She's definitely short enough," Edward joked. I laughed whole heartedly at that. Alice would probably punch Edward if she were down here right now.

"And Emmett could be Santa Claus," I remarked, thinking about Emmett dressed up in a big red suit, with a white beard and rosy cheeks. He already had the big belly laugh and the utter happiness part down. Now all he needed was a reindeer.

"I can see that," Edward nodded his head. "That would make Rose his Mrs. Claus."

"And Jasper the reindeer?" I chuckled as Edward laughed.

"What would you be?" I inquired after we settled down. Edward looked thoughtful for a moment.

"The grinch," Edward replied, sinking back into the couch.

"So, would that make me, Mrs. Grinch?" He shook his head, looking thoughtful for a second.

"No, I think you'd be Cindy Lou Who," he suggested. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Are you making fun of my nose?" I teased, eliciting a chuckle from him.

"No, you have a cute little nose," he replied, making me blush slightly. "I just think you and Cindy Lou share some character traits."

I cocked my head at him, wondering why he was suddenly looking down and playing with his fingers.

"Like what?" I asked. He looked up, at my face, then down again before opening his mouth to reply. However he was cut off.

"Cookies are ready!" Esme shouted from the kitchen. Banging could be heard above us as Emmett flew down the stairs, eager to get to the baked goods. Edward and I laughed together as he passed us, nothing more than a blur, followed closely by Jasper.

"Shall we?" Edward stood up, turning to me and offering a hand to help me up. I accepted it, a bit surprised by the gesture. Warmth spread through me as our hands touched and I sighed when he pulled his away.

Entering the kitchen, I couldn't help but laugh again. One would think that Emmett hadn't been fed in weeks with they way he was hovering over Esme as she moved the cookies onto a plate. He tried to reach over her shoulder and grab one from the cookie sheet, but Esme smacked his hand away, seemingly unfazed as she continued to load the cookies onto the plate.

"Emmett McCarty, give the lady some room," Rosalie grumbled, stepping into the room after Alice. Emmett pouted, reluctantly stepping away from Esme and the heavenly scent of her cookies.

Finally, Esme set the plate of cookies on the counter, and Emmett attacked.

"Emmett!" Rosalie yelled, grabbing some of the cookies he had scooped up and putting them back on the plate. "Slow down for two fucking seconds, please?"

We all snickered at the scene before grabbing up a few cookies of our own. Edward seemed almost as enthusiastic about the cookies as Emmett, practically inhaling them.

"A little excited there, Edward?" I teased, testing his new mood. He momentarily stopped his furious eating, looking towards me and cocking an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Or at least, I think that's what he asked. His question was garbled, as he asked it with a full mouth.

"Well, I've noticed you haven't been chewing. Careful, you might choke," I replied, smirking at him. He swallowed, his eyes narrowing slightly, before he chucked a cookie right at my head.

"Hey!" I grabbed the cookie and threw it back at him playfully, reaching up to swipe the crumbs out of my hair. He grinned cheekily at me.

I glanced to my right, noticing that Alice was smiling widely at me. She had herself convinced that Edward and I were 'perfect for each other'. She hadn't taken into account that he has barely spoken to me in months.

"I was chewing," Edward spoke up, crossing his arms and smirking at me.

"Could have fooled me," I shot back. He smiled before turning back and grabbing more cookies, deliberately chewing them so I could see.

What had happened to Edward? He was smiling, talking, acting like we were actual friends. This change had come out of left field, but I welcomed it. I had known from the beginning that I wanted to be a friend to Edward, maybe now he finally saw it. A voice in the back of my head told me not to get my hopes up, that he was just in a good mood and that could change, that I shouldn't let this stupid little infatuation I had with him develop any further. But I ignored it. Maybe I was being stupid but, damn it, I wanted to get my hopes up. People could change. Sure, Edward had been a bit of a jerk the past few months. But he could change.

"Are we doing Secret Santa this year?" Jasper suddenly spoke up. Everyone looked expectantly at Alice, since she was clearly head of holiday festivities.

"Fine by me," she shrugged. A hat was found, names written on slips of paper, and we all made our choice. I looked down at mine and saw I had picked Emmett. I smiled, knowing he would probably be the easiest to shop for.

"Okay, rules," Alice stated, getting all of our attention. "No telling who you got or swapping. That's just no fun. And let's put a thirty dollar limit on the present. We'll exchange on Christmas Eve."

Everyone nodded, agreeing to the rules.

"It's really coming down out there," Esme remarked, walking back into the kitchen. I turned to look out the window and noticed the snow still swirling down from the sky.

"Let's go sledding!" Emmett suddenly suggested, his eyes lighting up.

"Ooh!" Alice squealed. "Yes, let's!"

Agreeing, we all donned our jackets and grabbed Alice's old snow tubes from the garage before heading over to the elementary school, which apparently had a hill perfect for sledding. We walked, since Alice didn't live that far from the school. I hung back, smiling at the white swirling around me and my friends as they loped through it. Edward slowed down to walk beside me and we made our way in companionable silence. I tilted my face up suddenly and caught a snowflake on my tongue. I could hear Edward snicker next to me.

"Shut up. This is my first actual winter," I told him. "I'm going to enjoy it and do all the stupid snow stuff that I never got to do in Arizona."

"What was winter like in Arizona?" Edward asked.

"Polar opposite of this. I could get away with wearing shorts in the dead of winter in Phoenix and there definitely wasn't any snow. It was always so funny around Christmas. People laid out fake snow to go with their Santa Claus and reindeers." Edward laughed, probably imagining it.

"I can't imagine Christmas without snow," Edward remarked, titling his head up and catching a snowflake on his tongue. He brought it into his mouth and then turned to wink at me.

My knees were like jelly for a few moments there.

"So, what are you doing for break?" Edward asked. I smiled to myself, pleased with how easy it seemed for us to make conversation.

_See, Edward. We can be friends._

"Hanging out here," I replied. "I mean, I'll probably spend Christmas Day with my dad but we don't have any actual plans. What about you?"

"Same, basically," he answered. "Carlisle and I always spend Christmas with Alice and Esme, go over and open presents then have dinner. But then they leave the day after to visit some relatives in California. I know Emmett is going with Jasper and Rosalie to see their grandparents in London. So I guess it'll be a pretty boring week."

"Well," I dragged out the word, a little nervous. "We could always hang out."

Edward turned to me, scrutinizing me for a moment before grinning.

"Yeah, I guess you and I will be seeing a lot of each other over break," he conceded. I nodded calmly but on the inside, I was dancing.

We reached the hill behind the elementary school and found it deserted.

"Kids aren't allowed out yet probably, since the snow hasn't stopped," Jasper reasoned as we all trudged up the hill.

"But we're rebels!" Emmett hollered, pounding his fist into the cold air. Rosalie rolled her eyes but kissed his cheek lovingly as we reached the top.

Since we only had three tubes, we had to take turns. The boys ended up doing ridiculous things, getting very imaginative as they went down the hill. Rosalie got a video on her cell phone as Emmett and Edward went down in a doggy style position, sending us all into hysterics. Jasper had tried going down standing up, and ended up getting a mouth full of snow. My personal favorite was when Edward dragged the recycling bin from by the school up the hill and got into it, before letting Emmett push him down the hill. He almost made it, but went flying as he hit a jump Emmett had built by the bottom.

Rosalie, Alice, and I were much less daring than the boys. However, Rosalie did make it down standing up after watching her twin face plant. I didn't dare try anything risky, not trusting my clumsy self.

"Okay, last ride," Alice announced, noting the darkening sky. "How about we race?"

"Yes!" Emmett pumped his fist again. "Rosie and I are a team!"

"And me and Jasper are a team," Alice decided. "Edward and Bella, you take the last tube."

I glanced at Edward, but he was already making his way towards the tube on our left. Glancing back at our friends, I made my way over to him.

"You wanna go on top or should I?" Edward asked, looking up at me. I blanched for a second, then looked towards our friends. Alice and Rosalie had both gotten on first, lying on their stomach, while Emmett and Jasper lay on top of them, also on their stomach.

"I guess you can go on top?" I suggested, phrasing it more like a question. Edward nodded, then gestured for me to hop onto the tube. I got on my stomach then felt the tube shift as Edward got on after me.

My heart sped up frantically as Edward put his weight on me. I could feel his body warmth seep into my back and my eyes practically rolled into the back of my head when his scent hit me.

He smelled like gingerbread and honey and something undeniably Edward. It was him and he was everywhere. His arms stretched over me, grasping the handles and encasing me under him. I wished more than anything that I could stop time. Or just slow it down so I could lay here, under him and breathing in his scent for eternity.

"Ready?" He spoke in my ear, his breath tickling me. I tried to contain my shiver and nodded my head.

"Go!" Somebody yelled beside us and then we were moving. The cold air whipped my face and Edward laughed above me, seeing something I couldn't. I felt as though I were flying; I hadn't felt this lighthearted in…a long time.

"Emmett just wiped out," Edward told me and I giggled.

"Shit," Edward suddenly mumbled in my ear.

"What?" I asked, my heart jumping. I couldn't see what was happening or where we were going.

"We're going to hit Emmett's jump. Hold on tight, Bells," Edward replied in my ear. I was caught off guard by the nickname tacked on at the end.

I had no time to properly enjoy it though because in the next second, I felt us suddenly lifted and now we really were flying through the air. I noticed the tube fly out from under us and then Edward and I were momentarily tumbling through the air, before we collided on the ground.

He landed on his back and I landed right on top of him, resting on his chest.

"You okay?" He asked. I leaned up to take in his worried glance before bursting into laughter. I rolled off of him, clutching my stomach and laughing like a maniac. I could hear him laughing beside me.

"Nice, guys," Jasper remarked as he and Alice slid in beside us. I leaned up to see Rosalie on her tube a little ways ahead of us, then back at the hill to see Emmett making his way down, hair completely saturated with snow.

"So Emmett fell off but Rose didn't?" I inquired.

"Big oaf is too reckless and refused to hold onto the handles," Rosalie explained, walking towards us and dragging her tube. "He went flying off within the first two seconds."

I resorted back to a giggling fit as Emmett made his way towards us.

"I'm cold," he announced, shaking his head and trying to rid his hair of the wet snow. It dripped down his face and into his jacket, making him shiver.

"Alright," Alice replied, standing up with help from Jasper. "Let's head back to the house. We can order some pizza."

This instantly brightened Emmett's mood and we all made our way back to the house.

"I was beginning to wonder if I should send a search party," Esme said to us as we tromped into the house. All our cheeks were rosy red and we all sniffled from the cold.

"Who wants hot chocolate?" Esme asked, getting herself up from where she had previously been resting on the couch in front of the fireplace. A chorus of me's rang out as she headed towards the kitchen.

"That woman babies us," Edward remarked, smiling.

"I know," Alice shrugged her shoulders. We all stripped off our jackets and made our way to the roaring fire.

"What kind of pizza do we want?" Alice asked, cell phone in hand.

"Bacon!" Emmett shouted out. I wrinkled my nose up in distaste.

"No way," Rosalie shook her head before I could even speak up.

"Come on, it's good!" Emmett replied. Seeing nobody would budge he tried again.

"Okay, how about barbeque chicken?" He offered. I shuddered.

"Let's just go with cheese," Jasper dismissed Emmett's interesting pizza choices. "Everybody happy with that?"

We all agreed as Emmett grumbled about us not being more adventurous.

"Mom, you okay with cheese pizza?" Alice asked as Esme returned with mugs of hot chocolate.

"That's fine, sweetie," she replied, heading back to the couch. I sprawled on my stomach in front of the fire, letting the warmth spread through me. I closed my eyes are remembered the way Edward's heat had spread through me as he laid on top of me while we were sledding. I sighed, nuzzling my face into my arms and not even noticing as I drifted off to sleep.

"Bells?" I heard someone say softly to my right. I opened my eyes and saw Edward there, holding two plates with pizza on it. He chuckled as I rubbed my eyes, a bit dazed.

"Pizza's here. Nobody noticed that you had conked out on the floor. I got you a slice," he plopped the plate down next to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, still a bit disoriented from my impromptu nap on the living room floor. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen and then Emmett's boisterous laughter.

I chuckled at the sound before picking up the slice of pizza and taking a bite.

"So," Edward began. "Satisfactory snow day?" I nodded my head, smiling.

"I'd say so," I agreed. We ate in silence. As I polished off my slice, I turned towards Edward, curiosity getting the best of me.

"Edward?" I asked, getting his attention. I hesitated, unsure as to whether I should ask my question or not. "Why the sudden change?"

He seemed to get what I was referring to before he set his plate down and ran his hand through his mostly dry hair. I waited a few moments, ready to take my question back, before he spoke.

"I don't know," he murmured. "Look, I know I haven't acted all that friendly to you since you started school. I'm really sorry about that, but I thought it was for the best. I've told you already, I wouldn't be a good friend for you."

"I think I'll be the judge of that," I said softly. He looked towards me and sighed.

"But why today? Why do you suddenly want to be friends?" I asked, needing clarification.

"It's not that I didn't want to be friends with you," Edward replied. "Just that I thought we shouldn't be. But I'm really fucking tired of trying to stay away from you, Bells."

My heart fluttered in my chest at his words. I smiled, laying my head on my arms and looked at him.

"Good," I answered softly. "Now you can help me get out of shopping trips with Alice."

He laughed loudly at that.

"Bella, not even I have enough power to deter her from a shopping trip. Alice will be Alice, and Alice likes to shop."

"I don't think likes is a strong enough word," I grumbled. He laughed again and I marveled at the sound.

I could feel it happening. He had offered me no real explanation for his months of silence, but he had apologized. I could feel myself falling harder for Edward and I hoped beyond hope he wouldn't let me down again.

* * *

**Good? I don't know, I liked it. And those sledding things are actually stuff my friends did. They're out of control. Thanks for reading and maybe give me a teensy little review?**


	13. Show Me The Real Me

**Hello, all! My vacation time is winding down and I spent some time writing this chapter. Hope everybody enjoys it.**

**I wanted to thank whoever nominated this story for the Indie awards. It didn't make it, but it still means so much to me just to know that people care about this story. I'm thankful for every single reader and reviewer I have.**

**Anyways, on to the chapter.**

* * *

BPOV

"Thank God it's Friday," Alice lamented as we all sat down to lunch. Everyone nodded in agreement; the teachers had been trying to get in as many projects and tests, it seemed, since the holiday break was approaching soon.

"Amen to that," Edward sighed, rubbing tiredly at his face.

"Praise the Lord!" Emmett crowed, making his voice high pitched and adding in a southern accent. I chuckled, spearing some of my salad and shoveling it into my mouth.

"Just one more week," Rosalie added, leaning her head against Emmett's bulky shoulder.

I glanced around at our group, noticing how tired and weary we all looked. School was really kicking everybody's ass right now.

"Did you do that research paper for bio yet?" Edward asked from where he was seated across from me. I dropped my fork at his question. I had totally forgotten about the paper.

"Shit! That completely slipped my mind. When is it due?"

"Tuesday," Edward answered. I slumped in my seat.

"Guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend," I grumbled, completely annoyed with myself. How had I forgotten about it?

"It's not that hard," Edward tried to offer some comfort.

"Says the science geek," I scoffed.

"Well, how about I help you?" He offered. "Mine's already done."

"You'd do that?" I asked, a smiling finding its way to my face. My paper would be so much easier to write with Edward helping me.

"Sure. I'll come over Sunday," he shrugged his shoulders, picking up his slice of pizza.

The two weeks since that snow day had proved to be very good for Edward and I. It was almost as if the past few months hadn't even happened. It was a bit startling how easily we became friends, how carefree I was when we would hang out, how easy it was to talk to him. It was almost like I had known him my whole life.

His unexplained silence in the beginning was still that; unexplained. I hadn't brought it up and neither had he. I didn't want to disrupt the easygoing friendship we had forged.

_Probably a stupid move._

Ugh. Okay. So I knew that ignoring his jackass behavior probably wasn't the smartest thing. But my head and my heart just couldn't compromise.

"Oh!" Alice's head suddenly shot up and we all looked towards her.

"Alice?" Jasper nudged her shoulder.

"I know what we should do this weekend!" Alice announced, turning to smile at everyone.

"No," Edward groaned, closing his eyes.

"Holiday shopping!" Alice practically sang. All the boys groaned in unison.

"What, no groan from Bella?" Alice asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. Alice had taken me on plenty of shopping excursions, however unwillingly. I didn't like spending my days in malls and made my opinions very clear to Alice. Didn't mean I was exempt from going.

This time, however, I actually didn't mind.

"Nope, no groan. I actually need to do some Christmas shopping."

"Bella," Edward sighed. "You were our last resort."

I eyed the boys, giggling. They all looked as if I had just flushed their goldfish.

"Sorry," I shrugged, popping a crouton into my mouth and smirking at Edward. He made a face back at me, making me giggle once more.

The bell rang and we all moved to grab our garbage, before slinging backpacks over our shoulders and heading out the cafeteria doors.

"So, we'll go tomorrow," Alice declared. "Everybody be ready at-"

"If it's before ten in the morning Alice so help me God…" Edward seethed, sending a death stare Alice's way. She pouted but relented.

"Fine!" Alice huffed. "How about ten thirty? I'll be generous since it's the holidays."

"How very thoughtful of you," Edward grumbled sarcastically.

"Suck it up, Cullen," Alice shot back, sticking her tongue out before heading off with Jasper.

Edward and I made our way to biology and shuffled our way to our lab table in the back.

"I can't believe you agreed to go holiday shopping with _Alice_," Edward lamented, laying his head on the desk. I laughed, pulling out my notebook.

"I haven't found the time to go Christmas shopping yet and she obviously wants to go. How could I say no?"

"Easy. You say no," he shot back, but a smile tugged on his lips.

"You do realize that we very well may be sleeping at the mall," he continued. "You've seen Alice on regular shopping trips and Christmas is her favorite time of year. Add those two things together and you have one tiny girl who can't be stopped when unleashed on holiday sales."

I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders. Like he had said on our snow day, Alice will be Alice.

"Whatever," I waved him off, looking up at Mr. Banner as he began the lecture for the day.

"Fine," Edward shot back. "But don't come crying to me when she's forcing you into clothes you know you'll never wear."

Although a definite possibility, I still tried to act calm. I simply shrugged my shoulders again, knowing it would frustrate him. I knew I had done a good job when I heard a harsh sigh come from beside me. I worked to stifle my giggles.

"You're impossible," he muttered, pulling his hood on before laying his head down in his arms and drifting off to sleep.

-----

"Bella, your friends are here!" Charlie yelled from downstairs. I had figured as much when I heard a tiny rapping on the door moments before, but I was still half asleep and didn't have the drive to go downstairs and open the door.

Too many times I had found myself in this situation since moving to Forks; nine in the morning on a Saturday, preparing for a full day of shopping. I had gotten better at waking myself up and being able to prepare mentally for what was to come.

"Little Bella, come on!" I could hear Emmett shouting from downstairs and quickly grabbed my things, racing downstairs and fast as I could without falling flat on my face. I had a tiny house and Emmett was a big guy. I didn't want him to break anything.

"I'm surprised you don't have work today, Charlie," Alice was saying as approached the group standing in my little living room.

"Yeah, well, I got a bit of time off," Charlie replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Was it really necessary for everybody to come in?" I asked, sweeping my gaze across the group.

"Completely necessary," Emmett answered from behind me. I turned to see him with the bucket of leftover fried chicken that Charlie and I had got for dinner on Thursday, chomping away at what was left.

"What?" He asked through a mouth full of chicken, noticing that was I gaping at him like a fish. I looked back to Charlie, who seemed mildly amused, before sighing and shaking my head.

"Nothing. Let's go."

I watched as they all filed out of the house, before turning and noticing that Edward was standing at the mantle, eyeing the pictures set up there.

"Edward?" I called out, moving towards him. He spun around and smiled.

"You were one cute baby, Bells," he commented, pointing at a picture of a seven month old me on my stomach in this very living room, chewing on a shoe. My blush flared up as Charlie chuckled, noticing the picture as well.

"That she was. But she had a thing for chewing on stuff. Anything was near her, she'd grab it and put it right in her mouth," Charlie commented casually. Edward's eyes were positively sparkling with mischief, probably letting his mind wander to those dirty places. Why did everything turn into a dirty joke with him?

"Okay, see you later Dad," I waved, grabbing Edward's hand and pulling him out of the house. As soon as the door was shut behind us, Edward was cracking up.

"That was great!" Edward exclaimed, leaning against the house. I huffed, crossing my arms in annoyance.

"You have the mentality of a five year old," I grumbled.

"What happened?" Jasper asked, glancing between the two of us. We must have been an interesting sight. Edward grinning like the Cheshire cat and me blushing and pissed off.

"Nothing," Edward replied, finally calming down. We made our way over to everybody else who was standing in the driveway.

"Okay, how about this," Alice suggested, looking over at the two cars they had taken. I could see Emmett's Jeep and Edward's Volvo parked on the street in front of my house.

"Rose, Jasper, and I will go with Emmett in the Jeep. Bella, you can go with Edward in the Volvo."

"Fine by me," I agreed, excitement growing within me at the prospect of me and Edward alone in his car for the hour ride up to Port Angeles.

"Alright!" Alice clapped her hands together and I saw Rosalie rolls her eyes. "So, we'll meet up at the mall. Call us when you get there."

I hopped into the passenger seat of the Volvo as Edward slid into the driver's seat. I was momentarily taken off guard; his scent was _everywhere. _I mean, sure, it was his car and so obviously it would smell like him. But, everything about Edward set me off and his all encompassing scent was no exception.

Edward started the car, grinning to himself as it purred to life. Men and their cars. I would never understand the fascination.

"You have your iPod with you?" Edward turned to me and asked. I nodded, reaching into my bag and producing my black classic iPod. Edward pulled out one identical to mine from the center console then turned back to me.

"Good, because I want to play a game," he told me, smiling. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What kind of game?" I asked curiously. He turned to plug in his iPod to the speakers, before explaining.

"We come up with a category and then we each choose a song for that category. It will make the ride go faster," he shrugged, scrolling through his iPod as we pulled out onto the road.

"What's the first category?" I asked, turning on my own iPod and readying myself for choosing a song.

"How about best pump up song?" He suggested. "You know, the one song that makes you wanna go out and fight crime and shit like that."

I already knew what I would choose so I sat back and waited for what Edward's choice would be.

I laughed as the opening of "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor blared through the speakers.

"Typical," I commented. Edward laughed before bobbing his head to the beat, singing along ridiculously. Caught up in it, I found myself singing along too. Edward actually had a pretty good voice, although I shouldn't have been surprised. His regular speaking voice was smooth as silk, why would his singing voice be any different?

I chose "Livin' On a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, which Edward completely supported. He started moving around in his seats, doing little dance moves and making me laugh my head off.

"You choose the next category," Edward offered. "You can go first this time."

I tapped my chin, trying to think of something.

"How about guilty pleasure?" I suggested, knowing exactly what I would pick and feeling a bit embarrassed about it. However, I wanted to know what Edward's guilty pleasure was. He nodded enthusiastically I searched around for the song before I hit play.

"Circus" by Britney Spears started playing and Edward laughed, looking over and cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Don't even try to pretend you don't have any Britney on your iPod, Cullen," I shot at him. He shook his head, turning his iPod towards me. I leaned over to see "Toxic" by Britney Spears highlighted.

"I was thinking about going for Britney but now I'm going to do something else," Edward said, glancing back and forth from the iPod to the road as he drove. I didn't feel nervous; Edward seemed to be a very capable driver. Fast, but safe.

Edward went for "La La" by Ashlee Simpson, which I didn't see coming at all. But, I shouldn't have been surprised. I had found it in the time since Edward and I had become friends that he had quite a perverted mind. He enjoyed being dirty.

_Dirty Edward. Oh, yummmm._

"My turn," Edward declared when Ashlee Simpson faded away. "Best love song."

I actually had an entire playlist of love songs on my iPod and headed straight for it. Edward had already made his selection and turned it on.

"Aw, I love this song," I sighed. Edward had chosen "Have I Told You Lately" by Van Morrison. His unique voice floated around me, and I couldn't help but let myself imagine Edward singing this for me. God, I'm such a girl.

I put on "Smother Me" by The Used, and found myself doing the same exact thing. Picturing Edward sitting at a piano, playing and singing this song for me only.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call, snapping me back into reality. I realized the song had ended and it was my turn to pick a category. I had already thought of one.

"Best song to do a striptease to," I stated, my cheeks turning pink. I wasn't as comfortable with the dirty stuff as Edward was.

"Oh, good one," Edward nodded appreciatively.

I turned on "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard, not your typical dirty rap song, but still one that I had always pictured to be a good song to seductively strip to.

"So, this is the song you'll dance to when you strip?" Edward asked, looking towards me and wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes, but could still feel that blush painting my cheeks.

Edward chose "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris, a much more typical choice.

We went through 80's songs, corny love songs, and dirty songs. It was an incredibly fun game and I was glad that Edward had suggested it.

"Alright, one more," Edward said as "The Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound Gang came to a close. I thought about it before suggesting the last category.

"How about that one song you always listen to when you're in a melancholy mood. Depressing yet comforting at the same time."

I put on "Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison, and Edward nodded in appreciation. We both had discovered we shared a love for Van Morrison. We stayed silent as the music drifted around us, and I felt myself relaxing into my seat.

When the song ended, I grabbed my iPod and shut it off, throwing it into my bag. Edward put on the last song and I listened to it as we made our way through downtown Port Angeles, towards the mall.

"The Weepies?" I asked, wanting to make sure I got it right. Edward hummed and nodded.

"World Spins Madly On," he clarified. "I love this song."

_Woke up and wished that I was dead_

_With an aching in my head_

_I lay motionless in bed_

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_And let the world spin madly on_

Edward sang along softly, not at all like before. This really was the perfect song for a melancholy mood.

_Everything that I said I'd do_

_Like make the world brand new_

_And take the time for you_

_I just got lost and slept right through the dawn_

_And the world spins madly on_

"Do you have this CD?" I asked Edward. He nodded. "Can I borrow it?"

He looked over at me and smiled.

"Of course."

_I let the day go by_

_I always say goodbye_

_I watch the stars from my window sill_

_The whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

I closed my eyes and let the sounds of the music and Edward singing wash over me.

_Woke up and wished that I was dead_

_With an aching in my head_

_I lay motionless in bed_

_The night is here and the day is gone_

_And the world spins madly on_

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_And the world spins madly on_

"That was a great song," I murmured, opening my eyes and registering that we were already parked in the mall parking lot. Edward nodded, unplugging his iPod and putting it back into the center console.

"Time to shop!" Edward announced with fake enthusiasm. I groaned and unbuckled myself before exiting the car.

"Hey guys!" I heard Alice call out. I turned to see everybody walking towards us and waved. Alice trotted up to me and looped her arm through mine, smiling brightly.

"Ready to shop?" She asked, her eyes dancing. I chuckled and nodded, suddenly finding myself being tugged towards the entrance to the mall, the sounds of laughter behind us at my bewildered expression.

------

"Alice, _please, _can we get some lunch?" Emmett pleaded, lugging around Rosalie's bags. We had been at the mall for three hours already and had managed to hit three major department stores. Rosalie and Alice had managed to acquire many bags, while I still only had one.

Crazy ass shoppers.

The boys had been following, grumbling about wanting to go to the video game store. They were so stereotypically male that it killed me sometimes. Jasper and Emmett had been roped into carrying Alice and Rosalie's bags already. When I jokingly suggested that Edward take mine, he flipped me off.

"Alright, Emmett," Alice sighed, looking longingly at a sale that was just down the way. Rosalie and I both got on either side of Alice, grabbing an arm and towing her towards the food court. I myself was starving; I hadn't eaten any breakfast this morning. The smells of greasy mall food was wafting our way, eliciting a loud grumble from my empty stomach. I tried to pick up the pace, almost in a trance by the promise of food.

We finally reached an empty table and set all our things down. Jasper stayed at the table to guard everything while we went off to get food. Alice headed over to Subway to get sandwiches for her and Jasper, Emmett went to get a slice of pizza, Rosalie decided on Chinese food, and I made a beeline for McDonald's. Good ole McDonald's.

"Good choice," I heard from beside me as I got on line. Edward winked at me as I turned to acknowledge him.

"What are you getting?" He asked. I looked up at the menu, trying to decide.

"I think I'm going to go with a Big Mac, large fries, and a Coke," I rattled off. I turned to see Edward looking at me incredulously.

"Damn, girl, you can eat," he commented, acting like he was actually shocked.

"Yeah, so what? I'm hungry."

"You'd be surprised how many girls wouldn't even sit in the same room with a Big Mac, let alone eat one," he replied. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I like to eat," I stated simply. He smiled, tugging at the end of my hair lightly.

Edward and I made our way back to the table, where the rest of our friends had already congregated, after we had gotten our food. My tray barely hit the table before I attacked the burger and fries I had ordered.

A silence settled over the table for a few moments and I glanced up curiously. Everybody was looking towards me, either shock or amusement playing on their faces.

"What?" I asked around a bite of my glorious Big Mac. Emmett burst out into laughter.

"For such a little girl, you sure can eat," Jasper said, grinning at me as he took another bite of his sandwich. I sighed harshly, putting my burger down.

"Why is it so shocking that I eat?" I practically growled. Everybody laughed.

"It's not so much that you were eating, Bella, it was more like you resembled a ravenous wolf descending on their prey while you did it," Rosalie explained. My blush appeared on my cheeks but I ignored it, picking up my Big Mac and taking another bite.

"Did you honestly get a Happy Meal, Edward?" Jasper asked, glancing at Edward and his little bag that held a tiny cheeseburger, a small pouch of fries, and the mini sized drink it came with. Edward shrugged, reaching in for some fries.

"I wanted the toy," he replied, as if that were the most normal thing in the world. He pulled out the plastic bag containing his toy, eyes gleaming.

"Power Rangers? No way!" Emmett shouted out, leaning over the table to snatch the tiny plastic toy away.

"It's the newer ones," Jasper commented, looking over at the little action figure that Emmett was cradling. The boys seemed to be way too into the little action figure, while Alice and Rosalie had glanced at it, smiled, and turned away.

"Aren't you guys a little old to be playing with Power Rangers?" I asked, popping some fries into my mouth. Emmett turned to me, looking as if I had told him his Xbox blew up.

"Hell no, little Bella," he practically reprimanded me.

"Power Rangers was our thing when we were little," Jasper explained, patting Emmett's shoulder. "It's kind of how we all met."

"Oh, cool," I replied, bobbing my head.

"Yeah, we were such losers when we were little," Rosalie joked. "Always playing Power Rangers at recess. Of course, we always got the guys to play some more girly things when we had play dates."

"Oh, really?" I replied, glancing at the boys. Jasper and Edward groaned, sinking into their seats. Emmett, however, shrugged his broad shoulders and continued eating.

"You wouldn't believe the things we got them to play for us. Dress up was the most frequent game," Alice said, a twinkle in her eye. "Esme has loads of pictures; we'll show you later."

"You really don't have to do that, Alice," Edward grumbled, snatching his Power Rangers toy back from Emmett and plopping it back into the bag. Alice simply laughed, returning to her lunch.

After we were all well fed, Alice ushered us back into shopping. The afternoon proved more successful for me, since I got most of my Christmas shopping done. All I needed was a gift for Emmett and I would be set.

"Ooh, let's stop in here!" Alice announced, heading towards a very pink looking store. Glancing up at the name, I groaned to myself. Victoria's Secret. Of course she would be dragging us all in there. Alice had no shame.

"My favorite," Emmett chuckled, wrapping his arm around Rosalie's waist and leading her in. I followed after, wondering if Alice would let me off the hook and I could just go find Emmett's present instead.

Pondering that for a second, I waved off the thought. This was Alice, for crying out loud. No way would she ever let me off the hook.

Jasper and Edward were leaning against a podium where a mannequin rested as Alice darted around the racks, searching for sizes. Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere in sight; I figured they had already ventured further into the store.

"Bella, leave your things with the boys and come on!" Alice instructed, bending down to search through a drawer of bras. I shuffled over to Edward and Jasper, putting my bags down by Alice's.

"Happy shopping!" Edward teased, reaching up to ruffle my hair. A chill flew down my spine at the contact and I could barely manage a smile, so entranced by the feeling. Edward Cullen certainly didn't know the power he held over me.

"Bella, I've found some stuff that's perfect for you," Alice announced, dancing over to my side. She held up a set of bra and panties. They were midnight blue boy shorts with a matching bra and I liked them instantly.

"Good choice, Alice," I praised, grabbing them from her. She beamed at me.

"I also see some stuff over there," Alice pointed further into the store, "that I think would look great on you. Let's go, boys."

Jasper gathered up Alice's bag and then mine, through I tried to protest, and followed after Alice. I glanced towards Edward to see a faraway look in his eyes, brows furrowed.

"Hey, anybody home?" I waved a hand in front of his face. He startled for a second, before glancing down and then back up at me.

"What?" He asked, confused. I rolled my eyes.

"You coming?" I gestured to where Alice and Jasper had relocated. He looked surprised for a second, glancing back down again at something and then nodded.

"Yeah, sorry. Just spaced out a little there."

I joined Alice once more as she pranced around the store, able to find things perfect for me effortlessly. I wished I could shop like her. Probably why I didn't like shopping was that I could never find anything half way decent.

"Now, go try these on," Alice told me, ushering me into a changing room. I tried on everything that Alice had shoved at me and, unsurprisingly, I liked it all. However, trying to budget my money, I settled on the midnight blue panties and bra, a red set that was almost identical, and a comfy blue and white striped bra. Satisfied, I went to purchase.

"I'm so proud, Bella," Alice said with glee as we left Victoria's Secret. "When I first started taking you shopping, you were so clueless. Now, you've blossomed into a truly experienced shopper!"

I rolled my eyes but smiled back at her.

"Okay," Rose said as we stopped at a fountain. "Who needs to do what still?"

"I need to get a Christmas present for my mom," Alice stated, rifling through her bags. "And then I need to get some shoes to go with my new dress that I got for New Years."

"I'll go with you," Rose offered. "I need to get something for my Grandma."

"Well, I wanna stop into the video game store," Emmett decided. Jasper seconded that, so they sauntered off in that direction.

"Bella?" Alice asked. "You want to come with us or stay with Edward?"

"Actually," I replied. "I need to hit one more store and then I kind of wanted to stop at that book store downtown."

"How about this," Edward said, coming up from behind me. "We'll go to the store and then we'll leave and head to the book store. We drove here together anyways."

Alice nodded at this, gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye and then dragged Rosalie away, who turned to wave at the two of us.

I yawned as I turned to talk to Edward and he laughed.

"Yeah, a day of holiday shopping with Alice will do that to you," he teased. I smirked at him then headed into the direction of the store I needed.

"So, where are we going?" Edward asked, jogging to catch up with me.

"You'll see."

I led us in the direction of Spencer's, knowing I could find something dirty but funny for Emmett there. After leaving a thoroughly confused Edward outside of the store, I made my way in. I immediately spied something that I knew Emmett would like, and swiftly purchased it.

"What was that all about?" Edward questioned as I came out of the store.

"Doesn't matter," I replied cryptically, knowing it would bug him.

"Come _on_." Yup. Mission accomplished.

"Oh, get over it. Now, let's get out of here and do some real shopping," I said. Edward shook his head, but smiled slightly and offered me his arm. I looped my hand through the crook of his elbow and we were off.

-----

"I think she's checking me out," Edward whispered to me, crouching behind the shelves and peering through. I snorted, not looking up from the novel I was flipping through.

We had been in the book store for a half hour and from the minute we set foot inside, Edward had been convinced that the lady at the front desk was stalking him throughout the store. I wasn't sure whether I agreed with his assessment of the hippie looking, gray haired woman at the front. However, it was rather entertaining to watch him weave his way through the bookshelves, darting away from her supposedly inappropriate glances.

"Don't flatter yourself, pal," I muttered, putting back the book and selecting a new one. Edward whipped his head around to glare at me.

"This isn't my ego talking, little girl, I actually think the weird cat lady has the hots for me," Edward insisted. I giggled at his serious expression, causing him to pout once again.

"Okay, here we go," I murmured to myself, eyeing a section marked classical. I headed towards it, sensing Edward following close behind.

"I pegged you for a classics junkie," Edward commented as I lovingly ran my hand across the spines of the worn books sitting on the shelves. I turned to him, quirking an eyebrow.

"How'd you know? I don't recall ever revealing my strange obsession with Bronte or Austen."

"But you do, don't you?" He asked, smirking in a way that meant he already knew the answer.

"Whatever, you know what?" I replied, placing my hands on my hips. "I'm not ashamed of it. These books set the premise for authors today. Take Shakespeare for instance. Basically every plot for every book or movie, it all comes from him."

I finished my little rant and huffed at Edward, as he continued to smirk at me. I got my chance to laugh at him though, as the crazy hippie lady breezed past him from behind. He yelped and jumped about a foot in the air, eyes wide and startled. I clutched at my stomach, trying to hold in my incessant giggles.

"She pinched my ass!" He practically squealed. This got me laughing even harder, and I could see a few people poking their heads around the shelves, trying to see where the noise was coming from. I tried to calm down, knowing this was not proper book store etiquette.

"Glad to see you care," Edward pouted. "I've never felt so violated."

"Alright, alright," I replied, once my laughter subsided. "Maybe she does have a thing for you. We'll be out of here soon, I promise, I just wanna look through these."

Edward nodded and I turned back to my book hunt. I picked out a book by Oscar Wilde and opened to the middle, reveling in the crack of the spine and inhaling the wonderful scent that was coming off of the pages.

"Are you…smelling that book?" I heard Edward whisper just behind me. I turned my head and jumped; he was so close I could smell his shampoo. I was frozen for a moment, entranced by his scent, until he turned to me and smirked again.

"Yes," I answered, squaring my shoulders. "Classics have a smell all their own. It's like worn leather and pages that have been turned so many times and the ink…"

I trailed off as I saw Edward giving me a weird look.

"What?" I asked, holding the book to my chest. He shook his head, a soft smile on his lips.

"You, Bella Swan, are unlike any other."

My cheeks turned a light pink at his comment but I rolled my eyes and turned back to my book hunt.

"How are we doing over here?" I heard from an unknown voice a while later. I looked up to see Edward's admirer standing by us, raking her eyes up and down Edward's body. My chest constricted slightly, in what I readily recognized as jealousy.

_Stop that. He's not yours, you can't be jealous. Plus, he's absolutely disgusted by this lady._

Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts, I turned to see Edward, who was slowly inching backwards towards a book shelf.

"We're good," I answered, moving closer to the two. I handed out two books that I had selected.

"I was actually just about to purchase these," I addressed her, waving the books in her face so she would take her creepy stare off of Edward. She turned towards me, her eyes tightening, but plucked the books from my hand.

"Right this way," she said, turning her back on me and winking at Edward.

"Can we please just leave?" He whispered to me, desperately.

"I'm just gonna buy those two books and then we'll leave, I promise."

Edward and I followed the woman up front, where she rang me up. Edward stood half behind me the entire time, cowering in fright, and I once again had to work to suppress the laughter that was bubbling up within me.

"There you go," the lady said, handing me my books and receipt. "Now, don't be a stranger."

She said the last part to Edward, leaning over the desk and trying in vain to put a seductive look on her face.

"Sure thing," Edward said quickly, before grabbing my hand and darting out of the store. We flew around the block to where Edward had parked his car and I collapsed against it in laughter.

"Never fucking taking you there ever again," Edward grumbled, though a smile adorned his lips. I wiped at my eyes, trying to calm down.

"That was fantastic," I finally sighed, smiling at Edward. He rolled his eyes but continued to smile.

"We should probably start heading back," Edward commented, glancing at his watch. I nodded and we hopped into his car, buckling ourselves in.

Edward let me pick the music on the ride home and we sat in companionable silence.

"What do you miss most about Phoenix?" Edward suddenly asked quietly. I looked over at him but he was still staring straight ahead at the road.

"I don't know if I could pick just one thing," I started off slowly, thinking back to the place that I had called home for most of my life. "I loved mostly everything about Phoenix."

"Can you tell me about it?" Edward replied, shifting his eyes over to me before refocusing on the road. I sighed and settled back into my seat.

"Well, it was hot all the time. Polar opposite of here, really. I could get away with wearing shorts in the dead of winter. I miss that, but I'm also excited to experience the typical winter with snow."

"We'll have to do all those stupid snow activities that we all did when we were little," Edward commented, smiling. I nodded, smiling as well. I always used to wish for snow days in Arizona when I was little.

"Phoenix was so different from here. Here it's beautiful because of the green and the trees and all that. But in Phoenix, it's the desert and the cactus and the bowl shaped sky that kinda seems to never end. It's warm there, and not just because of the temperature. There's something comforting in the color brown. For me, at least, it's the color of home."

Edward nodded once more, still never taking his eyes off the road.

"Is that what you miss most?" He asked. "All that stuff you just said?"

I mulled it over for a second, then shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess. I miss a lot. It was home, you know?"

Edward nodded, then finally turned to look at me.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," he said, looking me in the eye, before turning his eyes back to the road.

"I'm glad too," I answered quietly, trying to conceal my wide smile.

--------

EPOV

My hand tapped the pen against the counter incessantly as I sat in Bella's kitchen. I had come to help her with her bio research paper and we had gotten most of it done. She was finishing up on her laptop right now, so I had nothing to do but let my mind wander.

And wander it did.

To say I regretted being Bella Swan's friend would be such a complete fucking lie. This girl who had seemed so fascinating on the surface actually had so much more layers for me to uncover as I got to know her better and better. The unique way in which her mind worked and how she'd always catch me off guard never failed to amaze me. She was seriously unlike anybody I had ever met before.

And, fuck, but the girl was gorgeous.

I glanced up to see her working on her paper, a cute little pucker above her eyebrows as she concentrated. Her shiny brown hair was up in a messy bun and a pencil was shoved in between her full pink lips as she chewed on the end. She was petite, but she wasn't scary skinny. She had curves in all the right places and that did not go unnoticed by the male population at Forks High School. Those fuckers had been after her since day one, but of course Bella didn't know it. She didn't understand that being in popular demand for a school assignment, or being asked if she needed a ride somewhere, or even just being smiled at in the hallways meant "Hey, I'm being nice, now will you fuck me?"

_I swear to God, let any of those fuckers even think about putting their hands anywhere near-_

And that's where I had to stop and take a step back. Because what the hell was I doing thinking about Bella that way? She was funny and smart and beautiful and 100 percent not mine.

She couldn't be mine. I'd fuck her up.

Bella deserved someone nice and normal and that someone was certainly not me. So, I'd just have to satisfy myself by being her friend.

After my little talk with Jasper on that snow day, I'd decided that there really couldn't be any harm in being Bella's friend, so long as I didn't get so invested. I mean, we were all graduating in June. Everybody would be off in different directions and the next time I would see Bella Swan would probably be our ten year anniversary.

I sighed, thinking about it, which caused Bella to look up.

"Are you bored?" She asked, scrutinizing me. I shook my head, because truthfully, I wasn't. Bella's frown deepened.

"You're bored. I'm sorry, I can finish this up later," she said, hastily saving her work and shutting down her laptop before bounding from her chair. I watched with wide eyes as she did this, still not moving from my seat.

"Do you want something to eat?" Bella asked me, moving to the refrigerator and opening it. I finally stood up at this point, and reached out to grab her arm.

"Bella, you made me a sandwich when I got here. Chill out," I chuckled. I dropped her arm and she stepped back from the fridge, closing it up. She blew at a piece of hair that was in front of her face, then crossed her arms and looked around, a calculating look on her face.

_So fucking adorable._

"Well, what do you want to do?" She asked, looking at me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"We could watch a movie," she offered. I agreed to this, content to do anything.

"My DVD's are upstairs, come on," she said, turning to run up the stairs. I glanced around for a moment, expecting her cop daddy to appear as if from nowhere and catch me dashing up the stairs into his daughter's bedroom.

No such thing happened, so I followed Bella's lead upstairs.

"What kind of movie are you up for?" I could hear Bella yelling from her room on the left as I stepped into the tiny hallway.

"Whatever. You pick," I answered, reaching her doorway and leaning against it, letting my eyes wander around.

Her room was small, which wasn't very surprising. Every thing about this house was somewhat small. Her bed was at the center of one of the walls, facing out into the room. It was big and covered in a purple comforter. It looked rumpled, like she had simply thrown it over her bed instead of making it. That was fine, though. I couldn't remember the last time I made my bed.

"_Edward, sweetie, be sure to make your bed!" My mother yelled from down in the kitchen, as I got myself ready for school._

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the memories.

"How about Anchorman?" Bella said, holding up the movie.

"Sounds good to me," I replied, still looking around her room. I stepped in and continued to glance around.

Her desk was absolutely cluttered with school work, textbooks, papers, the works. A large window on the far wall was obscured by a large tree, it's branches practically grazing the glass.

I noted that her room wasn't exactly clean, but it wasn't messy either. It looked lived in, if anything. Her closet was closed, but I could see a shirt sleeve poking out from underneath the door. Poor girl, Alice must be stockpiling her with clothes for the year.

Bella was kneeling on the ground by a shelf next to her desk. It was full of books and movies, randomly scattered about. She stood up and came to stand by me.

"The DVD player is downstairs," she mentioned, and for the first time I realized that she might be uncomfortable with me in her room. I quickly did an about-face and headed back out the door. I heard her pause for a second before following me back downstairs.

"Do you want popcorn?" Bella asked, getting the movie set up as I sat down on the couch.

"Sure," I replied, feeling the lumps in the sofa. I eyed the big recliner on the other side, appreciating it for what it was. A man's chair, and that man was Charlie Swan. My butt would not be graced with its presence today.

Bella flitted over to the kitchen, popping a bag of popcorn. My eyes once again wandered and I caught a glimpse of the baby pictures I had seen yesterday.

I chuckled, thinking of Bella's face when her dad had made the comment about her not keeping anything out of her mouth.

Yesterday had been a good day. Playing music with Bella in the car had been one of my favorite parts. Although we already knew it, we both had really similar taste in music. And yesterday was probably the first time I had ever truly enjoyed myself while shopping with Alice. Even though I almost died in Victoria's Secret.

"_Good choice, Alice," Bella smiled, grabbing those damn midnight blue bra and panties from Alice's grasp. She held them up and instantly my mind was swarmed with visions of Bella, covered in the pieces of lace, laid out on my bed, whispering my name in my ear…_

That was hard. But then we got out of there and I got to spend some more time with Bella. Even though part of the time I was being harassed by the fucking creepy spinster in the front, I really liked being in the book store with Bella. It was her domain, and she looked so damn happy running her hands along the books, picking them up and reading little parts, coming across her favorite books. She even smelled the damn things, and I couldn't find it in me to be weirded out.

And hearing her talk about Phoenix. It made me a little sad, to hear how much she did love the place. She must really miss it, judging by how she was talking about it. But she did say she was glad she came here.

I almost asked her about her mom, but then chickened out. I knew she would talk about her if I asked, but I wasn't sure I wanted to bring that subject up. We hadn't talked about my mom at all yet, though apparently she knew. I figured that bringing up her mom would bring up mine and that was not at all something I wanted to talk about.

"I got us some Coke's," Bella announced, making her way back into the room with a bowl full of popcorn and two cans of soda. I made room on the couch and she set the bowl down on the table, before plopping down next to me and handing me a can. She reached out and grabbed a few kernels of popcorn, throwing them into her mouth before pressing play on the remote and settling back into the couch.

I didn't pay much attention to the movie; it's been said that I have the attention span of a goldfish, so sitting still for two hours has never been my strong suit. I let my eyes wander, taking in again the place where Bella lived. The room we were in seemed like it didn't see much of Bella. The recliner, the fish themed décor, the fact that the TV was on the sports channel when Bella turned it on was a clear indicator that this was more of her father's domain.

Her room was clearly where Bella spent most of her time. I never pegged her for being a messy person, nor did I think she was a neat freak. It was more organized in a way that only Bella could understand. Better than my room, which looked like a war zone if anything.

Occasionally, Bella giggled beside me, effectively grasping my attention. Her laughter was enticing, calming and exciting me all at once. The macho voice inside me wondered where my balls had gone. Contemplating a girl's laugh? Very unlike myself. But the bigger part of me told masculine Edward to fuck off.

I remembered hearing Bella laughing after we went sledding. The feel of her warm body underneath me had aroused some, uh, interesting reactions within me. Then we were flying down the hill, then _actually _flying after we hit the bump, then landing in the cold snow. I had thought she was hurt at first but then she burst out laughing, making her tiny body bounce on top of mine and bringing back the horny motherfucker from before.

We finished the movie and started cleaning up the snacks. Just as Bella started rinsing out the popcorn bowl, I heard the front door open, followed by the ominous clomping of heavy boots coming towards us.

"Hey, dad!" Bella yelled out, not faltering in her washing of the dishes. I, on the other hand, was panicking. Did he know I was here? Was I allowed to be here, alone, with his daughter? Did the guy have his gun? Should I address him as Mr. Swan or Sir or Officer Swan or Chief Swan?

"For the love of God, Edward, chill out," Bella said, rolling her eyes as she caught my panicked expression.

"Um, hello? The guy has a gun!" I hissed under my breath, stiffening as her dad entered the room.

He wasn't a huge man, he only had a couple inches on me, and he wasn't a heavyweight champion or anything. But there's something about the gun holster on his hip that made him seem eight feet tall.

He looked taken off guard by the fact that I was standing in his kitchen, but not exactly murderous. He squinted his eyes at me then looked to Bella, who was finishing up the dishes.

"Hi," he muttered. "What're you doing here, Edward?"

_Not mad. Just curious. We're good, this is good. Fuck, can't he just get rid of the gun so I can stop acting like a baby? Act your age, Cullen. He won't shoot you. You guys weren't doing anything wrong._

"Edward came over to help me with a bio paper and then we watched a movie," Bella answered for me, moving swiftly around the room and grabbing food items out of the refrigerator. Charlie seemed placated, shrugging before moving back into the hallway to discard his boots and jacket and that god awful gun.

"You blew that wildly out of proportion," Bella sighed, with a small smile on her face. "I could see you freaking out that entire time. Like my dad would waste a bullet on your scrawny ass."

I stood stock still for a minute before I pounced.

"Scrawny ass, eh?" I repeated, storming over to her and grabbing her sides, tickling her. She thrashed but I just held her tighter.

"I was just joking!" She managed to choke out around her laughter. I just tickled her harder.

"That was a very mean joke. I happen to know plenty of people who think I have a fantastic ass." I finally let her go and she breathed heavily for a second.

"Like Tanya?" Bella muttered, looking up at me and raising her eyebrows. I heaved a sigh and crossed my arms.

"Am I never going to hear the end of that?" I huffed in annoyance. Bella simply shrugged her shoulders, turning back to whatever she was doing before I attacked.

"You're welcome to stay for dinner if you want," Bella offered just as the Chief stepped back in. I saw the reluctance in his eyes and realized he probably just wanted some time with his daughter.

"Thanks, but I got some homework I have to finish. I'll see you in school tomorrow, Bells."

I got into my car and headed home, trying to think of what I could do for the rest of the night. Perhaps, pay Alice and Esme a little visit.

I got home and was both surprised and annoyed to see that Carlisle's car was in the driveway. I parked, glancing at the sleek black Mercedes sitting innocently in front of the house, before making my way through the front door. The lights were on in the kitchen and I headed that way, finding Carlisle talking softly on the phone. I dumped my keys and phone on the counter, making a loud entrance so he would know I was there. He spun around, eyes widening a little, before turning back around and quickly ending his phone call.

"Hello, Edward," my father greeted me, looking for all the world like this was a normal occurrence. I smirked back but said nothing. Carlisle faltered a bit, running his hands through his perfectly coiffed hair.

"Carlisle," I finally said back, going to the refrigerator and opening it, rummaging through its contents.

"Where were you?" He asked from behind me.

"Out," I answered, trying to decide if the cream cheese in the fridge was edible. One sniff of the container said no. I tossed it back in.

"Edward," Carlisle sighed, apparently ready to give me the "I'm your father, you must respect me" spiel. I spun around before he could start.

"Why are you here?" Carlisle arched an eyebrow at that one.

"I live here," he responded, clearly wondering what I had been smoking today. I shrugged at what he said, turning back towards the fridge.

"You're going to have to fend for yourself for dinner," he said, as if that isn't how it was every single fucking night. "I have a business dinner in Port Angeles tonight. I'll probably be back pretty late."

"Whatever. Just remember to balloon your baboon before you tune her poon."

I left him after that little gem, grabbing an orange, my keys, and my phone, returning back to my car. The inside of the Volvo was still warm from the heater, since I had only been in the house for a few minutes.

Pulling up in front of Alice's house a few minutes later, I was happy to see that lights were on inside, meaning at least one of them was home. Judging by the cars in the driveway, it looked like both of them were home.

"Honey, I'm home!" I yelled as I stepped into the house, using the key that was under their mat. Breaking and entering wasn't exactly a concern in Forks.

"Edward?" I heard Alice call out, before she popped her head around the bend. She smiled and ran up to give me a hug.

"What's up?" She asked, glancing at me strangely. I shrugged and led the way into the kitchen.

"I was bored. And hungry."

"Oh, so you figured you'd come here and steal my food?" Alice exclaimed teasingly, crossing her arms. "I don't think so, pal."

I grabbed a roll from the bread basket and ripped off a piece, popping it into my mouth and smiling cheekily at her. Alice simply rolled her eyes and we retreated up to her room.

"Where's Esme?" I asked as I picked up a pair of boxers, presumably Jasper's, and shot them at Alice's head. She snatched them off her head and threw them right back at me, laughing.

"She's in her room," Alice finally answered. At that moment, the woman in question popped her head into the room.

"I thought I heard you, Edward," she said, smiling at us.

"He came to raid our kitchen," Alice commented, rolling her eyes.

"In that case, how about I leave some money for a pizza?" Esme suggested, reaching into her purse. It was then that I realized she was dressed up, looking like she was leaving.

"Where you going all dolled up?" I teased. Esme rolled her eyes, handing Alice some cash.

"Dinner with a potential client in Port Angeles," Esme replied, closing up her purse and reaching out to straighten her skirt. "Alice, honey, I'll probably be back pretty late so don't wait up."

"Hey, Carlisle's gonna be in Port Angeles tonight. If you see him, send my love," I said sarcastically, earning a laugh from Alice.

"Sure thing," Esme replied, sighing.

Esme headed off to Port Angeles while Alice and I ordered our pizza. We fought over what toppings to get, then decided to just go with cheese because we clearly couldn't agree on a single topping. She wanted to be adventurous with fruit and shit, while I just wanted some meat.

"So, how was your day?" Alice asked around a mouthful of pizza. I shrugged, biting into mine as well.

"I helped Bella with her paper and almost got shot by the chief," I mentioned. Alice snorted, shaking her head.

"Bella texted me about that a little while ago. Said you were almost shitting your pants because her dad had the gun in his holster. She said he didn't even touch it, but you were convinced he wanted to shoot you."

I huffed indignantly, finishing my slice. Girls told each other everything the second after it happened. Couldn't tell them anything.

"So, what did you and little Bella do all day, hmm?" Alice asked, making suggestive eyes at me.

"Worked on her paper. Watched a movie. Fuck, Alice, don't get all pervy on me."

"You know," Alice said thoughtfully as I wolfed down my third slice. "You two would make an adorable couple."

"Don't think so," I mumbled, not liking at all where her train of thought was taking us.

"You totally would, though," Alice continued, not noticing my stiff posture. "She puts up with you and you can't tell me that you don't think she's pretty. She's insanely nice and funny and you guys practically share the same brain when it comes to music."

I sat back in my chair, trying to tune out Alice's rant. I couldn't let myself think this way.

"Not gonna happen, Alice, so just forget about it," I replied when she was done.

"Why the hell not?" Alice replied, huffing and crossing her arms, looking at me expectantly.

"Because. Now shut up about it. Please."

She looked at me strangely, as if trying to crack a code, but came up empty. She huffed again but let it drop, and we each focused back on our pizza. It was tense for a moment, but then Alice got a text from Jasper which effectively brightened her mood. We spent the evening just chilling, going through old things in Alice's room and laughing over old pictures. As far as Sunday nights went, it wasn't half bad.

I drove home that night in a good mood, and found the house empty. Walking through the quiet dark rooms, I felt something strange welling within me.

I could remember a time when it wasn't so quiet in this house. When there was a certain type of warmness present that was lost now. When I'd sit with my mom at the piano, run to my dad when he got home from work, sit down and have dinner together as a family.

Standing in the empty living room, devoid of any family or warmth or love, I marveled at just how much had changed. And how little I had to show for it.

Approaching the piano, which was played very sparsely these days, I brushed my fingers along the keys. My mother had loved the piano. She taught me how to play herself. It was our thing.

I sat down on the bench, hearing it creak. I hit some notes, making sure it was tuned, before closing my eyes.

I thought of everything. Of my life, my friends, music, driving, cold, rain, forest, school, textbooks, pencils, Esme, Jasper, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Bella.

Bella.

I began to play.

* * *

**That little music game was something we used to play at camp while we were hanging out, trying to get to know our bunk mates. It's pretty fun.**

**I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, and I'll probably get that one out quicker than this one. Hopefully.**

**Okay, well, until next time. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.**


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